Thank you, Otto Kratt, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we didn't think that right wing populism would come to Canada. We mean, European countries like France have shown us how resilient democracy can be by managing to resist it so far, right? If France can...umm, okay, bad example. But, Italy doesn't have to worry about right wing popu - aww, come on! Really? Italy? Okay. Okay, but, there is always the example of the United Kingdom. That sceptickered isle. That...whatever else Churchill said about the country. What about the United...
Sigh. Which way to the camps?
Enjoy,Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold Turkey
After Turkey invaded Syria and started massacring Kurds, the Canadian government announced that it was suspending new weapons sales to the country.
"Oh, however will we cope?" asked Turkish President Recep Erdogan, putting his hands on his cheeks as though he was a Jewish grandmother in the vicinity of an adorable punim. "I guess we'll just have to make do with the tons and tons of weapons we already have!"
"Was the sarcasm really necessary?" Prime Minister Justin Trudeau asked. "We could have done without the sarcasm."
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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Food Just Like Your Mama Didn't Make
Bad Management Practices Case Study #2,303
Mama Podunkengunken's Seafoodateria
The subject went bankrupt because, among other things, it substituted Kobe beef for tuna in its tunafish sandwiches and Russian sturgeon for its salmon sushi.
"They had the right idea," commiserated Sayonara Bludstone, author of The Tongue Doesn't Taste What the Eye Doesn't See, a book on food fraud. "Substitute one ingredient for another. Where they went wrong, if I may be so bold, is that they substituted more expensive ingredients for their dishes rather than less expensive ones. Typical rookie mistake, really."
SOURCE: Ukrainian Foodies[http://www.foodies.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%3Flistings%3Findex%3Easp%2F®Mode=0]
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Purple Nurple Reign
Shortly before President Trump took the stage at a rally in Minneapolis, Prince's song "Purple Rain" played. This was despite the fact that a year ago the late singer-songwriter's estate begged the Trump administration to stop playing his music at public events.
In his typical diplomatic fashion, President Trump responded, "You know what I call Prince? Puffy Prince. Get it? Because he liked puffy clothes, and we all know who likes...ruffles and feathers and stuff like that, right? Right. Puffy. Anyway, he's dead, so I don't understand why he cares who plays his music or where. What's he gonna do? Haunt my rallies?"
The President smiled his usual rally smile (which looks like a kitten with a bad stomach ache and no opposable thumbs to get antacids out of their blister packs) before inexplicably ducking and looking wildly around above him. Eventually, he straightened up, smiled again, and said he would talk about a safer subject: Ukraine.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2019/2019/10/13/purpleisthenewack/]
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Don't Break A Tooth On The Copper Crouton!
Typical President Trump 2016 campaign trail word soup: "Hillary Clinton emails. Crooked Hillary. Crooked, crooked Hillary. I did not have sex with a prostitute! I don't even know what prostitutes are! Fake news! Fake news! Evil media. Fake news! I want a better relationship with Russia. Crooked Hillary email scandal! What is she hiding? Why are the news media - oh, the evil, evil news media - not looking into her? I'm the richest man who ever hosted his own reality TV programme!"
Typical President Trump spokeshill justification for 2019 actions: "Of course, decisions made by the President benefit Russia! He said on the campaign that he wanted the United States to have a better relationship with the country!"
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=983&dir=bb]
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* SHRUG *
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1276553037]
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I'm Not A Racist - I Just Say Racist Things...In Public...For Money...
Tucker Carlson, ladies and gentlemen, a man who lives in a $3.85 million house in suburban Basket of Deplorables, circa 65 years ago, complaining of all of the other people who live in million dollar houses, circa 60 years ago. But, those five years make all the difference in responsibility for destroying the social fabric of our civilization!
Umm...or something like that.
No society has ever changed this much, this fast? Chief Arvol Looking Horse might have an opinion on this subject, but, of course, nobody in the Basket of Deplorables will ask him to share it, so, umm, sorry I brought the whole subject up.
This is more change than human beings are designed to digest? See my aborted paragraphical point above. Or, I suspect the Kurds in Syria might disagree. Perhaps white people like Tucker Carlson just have immature digestive systems.
Hey, don't complain to me about racism - Tucker started it!
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Kurdled International Relations
Although the Kurds in Syria deciding to ally themselves with Russia seems to have taken a lot of people by surprise, the ground may have been laid in a meeting representatives of the Kurds had with representatives of Russia and Syria last year. This is a partial transcript of that meeting.
RUSSIA: You should consider becoming an ally of the glorious motherland of Russia.
KURDS: Never! The United States of America has been our chief benefactor and ally - we will never betray them!
RUSSIA: True. You will never betray them. The Americans will betray you.
KURDS: They will? Why...why would they do that?
RUSSIA: Because we will tell them to.
KURDS: But -
SYRIA: Arroowwwwfffraaaaaaaaaar!
RUSSIA: (shouting) Down, Bashar! Down, boy! (pause, calm) Sorry about that. Bashar hasn't been fed in a while and he gets...frisky.
KURDS: Umm...yes. That leash - I hope it's stronger than it looks. Heh heh. Now, what was I saying?
RUSSIA: That you were considering becoming an ally of the glorious motherland of Russia.
KURDS: No. I remember now. Why would you telling the Americans to betray us make them betray us?
RUSSIA: (smirks) Their President is a good friend of mine.
KURDS: How...how good a friend?
RUSSIA: He's a great French kisser.
LONG PAUSE.
KURDS: Umm...can I have time to think about it?
RUSSIA: Of course! This is a very important decision.
SYRIA: Raowrf! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!
RUSSIA: But, if I were you, I wouldn't take too long...
SOURCE: Drew's Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/#.shtml]
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