The Daily Me - Kilgour Salmon

Thank you, Kilgour Salmon, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we thought about how much we love poutine. Love it, love it, love it, love it. Our favourite is grilled sirloin poutine. Except, we ask restaurants to serve it a little differently: with the French fries on the side, without cheese curds.

Yum!

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

What Happens When You Throw Somebody Who Knows All The Angles A Curve?

The city of Boston has been asked to approve a "straight pride" parade to celebrate heterosexuality. John Hugo, president of Super Happy Fun America (I did not make that up) said that the parade was in no way intended to mock LGBTQ communities and activists who engage in "gay pride" events.

"We're mocking angled parades," Hugo stated. "Especially 23 and 178 degrees - those bastards are what's ruining the fabric of society today!"

SOURCE: Yellow Triangle Blues

[http://ytb.gay/July_2019/parade.htm]
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Then, The White House Had To Take A Nice, Long Bath Until It Felt The Negative Feelings Melt Away

The Trump administration has signalled that it will support Americans travelling to Canada to buy lower priced subscription drugs. Why doesn't it just join the rest of the free world in regulating drug prices?

The White House shuddered and replied, "Because that would be Socialism!"

SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal

[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB1134273974974284704,00.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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Just As Well
It Was Going To Rain That Day - Whatever Day It Was

According to a report by the Fraser Institute, Canadians are paying more in taxes (40.8 per cent of household income) than they pay for living costs (clothing, food and shelter). This is outrageous! Citizens should be marching in the streets against this blatant abuse of the government's taxing power!

The Fraser Institute's finding is much higher than comparable studies, which say households only pay 20 to 25 per cent of their income on taxes. Why? The Fraser Institute includes taxes paid by corporations in its calculations.

Oh.

Okay. You can stop making signs and learning chants now.

SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned

[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2019/07/28/509727.html]
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I Like Yemeni Yurtl, But I Don't See It Trending On Twitter Any Time Soon

Spare a moment to commiserate with the unfairness of life for Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

He has refused to bring two bills to the floor of the Senate which would tighten election security, making it harder for Russia to interfere in the 2020 Presidential and Congressional races. He has done this on the not unreasonable assumption that, if the elections were actually fair, Trump's Republicans would lose their asses. It's just a political calculation.

But, his opponents have saddled him with the moniker "Moscow Mitch," and are claiming that he is a tool of strongman Vladimir Putin. Him! Mitch McConnell! Such a cold warrior that his heart is used by scientists to measure absolute zero!

It doesn't help that McConnell was instrumental in ensuring that Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska avoided the re-imposition of sanctions on his businesses. Three months later, Deripaska's aluminum giant announced a $200 million investment in McConnell's state of Kentucky.

No, no, no, the Majority Leader argues, that had nothing to do with helping Russia! That was a simple business calculation! The fact that it did benefit a Russian oligarch was a complete coincidence! If a Canadian aluminum company planned on spending so much money in his state, he would have blocked sanctions on it as well! Really!

Mitch McConnell is not bad. He's just misunderstood.

SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism

[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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When You Put It That Way, It Seems Almost Altruistic

If elected, the Conservative Party of Canada will restore ties with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, according to Foreign Affairs Critic Erin O'Toole.

Because we want to sell them weapons they can use to make war against neighbours and their own people?

"Absolutely not," O'Toole insisted. "We want to support a country that shares many of the same values that Canadians cherish."

Like making war against neighbours and their own people?

"Absolutely not," O'Toole continued to argue.

Values like ordering the killing of journalists who are critical of the government?

"Absolutely not," O'Toole repeated, although there was a far-away look of desire in his eyes.

Values like ensuring the continued subservience of women in a patriarchal society?

"Well..." O'Toole equivocated for a moment before catching himself and saying, "No. Sorry. Absolutely not."

So, what are the values that Canada and Saudi Arabia actually share?

"We have weapons," O'Toole pointed out. "They have money. We both want to share what we have plenty of."

SOURCE: The Irrational

[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2019/08/02/otooleofoppression190802]
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Rigour?
How Do You Figure?

Questions an Ordinary Administration Asks of Potential Cabinet Officials

What is your education, and how does it relate to the position?
What is your business experience, and how does it relate to the position?
What is your political experience, and how does it relate to the position?
Are you temperamentally fit for the position?
If you were given the position, what would your top priorities be?
Is there anything in your personal life that would make you a security risk?
Is there anything in your finances that would make you a security risk?

Questions the Trump Administration Asks of Potential Cabinet Officials

Do you look good on television?
Do you like the President?
No, seriously, how much do you like the President?
Would you take a bullet for the President?

SOURCE: Politics For Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=982&dir=bb]
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It All Depends Upon Your Corey Principles

Disappointment in life is a matter of perspective. For example, if you are a politically engaged teen:

YOU WANT: Corey Booker.

YOU'LL SETTLE FOR: Corey Doctorow.

YOU'LL GET: Corey Hart.

On the other hand, if you are a pop culture obsessed teen:

YOU WANT: Corey Hart.

YOU'LL SETTLE FOR: Corey Doctorow.

YOU'LL GET: Corey Booker.

SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog

[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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When Canadians Can Sign On To American Drug Plans That Don't Pay Enough For Them To Be Able To Buy Drugs In The US And Have To Come Back To Canada For Them, The Circle Will Be Complete
But, Will There Be Any Drugs For Them To Come Back To Canada To?

The Trump administration has signalled that it will support Americans travelling to Canada to buy lower priced subscription drugs. Why is the Canadian government trying to discourage Americans from doing this?

24 Sussex Drive shuddered and replied, "Because that would be capitalism!"

SOURCE: The National Whipping Post

[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/news/story.html?ia=0ec0enbc-b6e6-4c18-bf9b-07b657dd48ec]
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