Thank you, Republicans for Satan, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we heard about restaurants starting to serve beyond burgers. Beyond what? The event horizon? Would we risk reenacting the more psychedelic parts of Interstellar whenever we took a bite into one of their entrees? Or, were the burgers possessed by ghosts or other creatures from beyond? After having a beyond burger, would we have to go to a Burger Priest to get an exorcism burger?
It's enough to make a meat-lover seriously consider Veganism.
Enjoy,Praise The Lord And Pass The Propaganda
Yeah, yeah, Christian conservatives are not being murdered in the streets; in fact, they have a White House that is in a position to give them their biggest, most cherished prize: the death of Roe v. Wade. Imagine that head hanging over Don, Jr.'s mantle! Despite this, is anybody surprised by Bakker's overheated rhetoric? You don't get a gated mansion in the basket of deplorables by being part of the "reality-based" community.
But that's not what is really important, here. What is really important is: Jim Bakker is still alive, out of jail, allowed to speak in public and fleecing the gullible?
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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A late night debate about a bill that would delay wage arbitration talks for public sector contracts took a strange turn when Alberta United Conservative Premier Jason Kenney started handing out earplugs to members of his government.
"In a properly run democracy, all points of view on an issue should be expressed in vigorous debate in the legislature," Premier Kenney stated. "But, that doesn't mean that our government has to listen to them!"
Was the fact that the earplugs were pink an expression of support for Pride Weekend? "Did you just ask me a question?" Premier Kenney responded. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you because I imagined I still had plugs in my ears!"
SOURCE: Festerin' Report
[http://www.ax2grindnet.com/festerinreport/web/feature2222.html]
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Stairs, Which Were Also Interviewed, Asked If They Would Be Covered By State Health Insurance
Missouri health officials have refused to renew the licence of the state's only abortion provider; although an injunction has kept the Planned Parenthood site open, a court still has to give a final ruling on the government's action. State health officials said they did not renew the licence because they were unable to interview physicians who were involved in what they claimed were multiple life-threatening abortions.
State health officials went on to say that they had interviewed many wire coat hangars, and were satisfied that they would be a safe, inexpensive alternative to the clinic.
SOURCE: The Medical-Industrial Complex
[http://www.medical-industrial-complex.org/journals/micx/when_alternative_health_care_means_no_health-care/secure/2_pds.htm]
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Your Cheetoing Heart
Have you ever wanted to dress like a Cheetos package? Yeah, neither have we. Still, thanks to a partnership between Frito-Lay and Forever 21, people will be able to buy limited edition Cheetos swimsuits, t-shirts, dresses and more.
Of course, you won't be able to fit into the clothes if you actually eat any Cheetos. Can you say irony? Because Paris, Milan and New York obviously can't!
SOURCE: Fashion Crimes TV
[http://www.fctv.com/home/default.asp]
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SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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It Was An Honest Mistake - Anybody Could Have Made It
Pepsi, the soft drink that drew a backlash when it was first released in 1985, is back. And, the credit, or blame, has to go to Netflix.
A limited supply of the vintage beverage will be made available online and in select cities as part of a promotional campaign related to the coming season of Stranger Things, which will be set in the year that Pepsi was -
Sorry, did I say Pepsi? I meant New Coke. It can be hard to tell them apart.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1025952878]
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She's Still Got It! Not That She'll Admit That...TO YOU!
Sarah Wannabe-Panders will be leaving her post as Grey House Press Secretary at the end of the month. "No, Ah'm not. Where did y'all get that crazy idea?"
You announced it? In a press release. With your signature and everything?
"Aah," Press Secretary Wannabe-Panders stated in what had been understood to be her last press briefing (so-called because of how short they had become). "Wuhl, Ah can neithuh confuhm noah deny that infohmation at this time. Ah'll get back ta y'all just as soon as Ah can."
But...but...but you have already agreed to attend a private dinner some journalists are planning on throwing on your behalf!
"Oh, Fred!" Press Secretary Wannabe-Panders chided. "Do Ah really have tuh explain Fake News tuh y'all at this late date‽"
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=32322672014691302787fx]
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