Thank you, Piotr "Pissed Off" Pistorius, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were outraged by the Ford government's cutbacks to Legal Aid! We understood that they would make it harder for poor people to get justi - we couldn't finish the thought because we were outraged at the Ford government's axing of a programme to plant trees. Trees! Trees are the lungs of the pla - but, then, we were outraged at the Ford government's plan to cut back health coverage for Canadians travelling out of the coun - and, then, we were outraged by the Ford government's lawsuit against the federal government's cap and trade...cap and...and...and, as if that weren't enough, then - then - then -
Then, we had to lie in a dark room and binge watch Game of Thrones. Who has the energy for all that outrage?
Enjoy,
Have you ever played Broken Telephone? Yeah, you know the game. It's where you whisper into a friend's ear, "The horses are at the gate." Then, they whisper it into another friend's ear, and so on until the sixth friend believes that they heard, "Porous arms are the new gelato."
Good times.
This is exactly how bible interpretation works. Except the number of people in the chain is in the thousands (most of whom are not your friends). And, the words were written down over 1,500 years ago, hundreds of years after the events they describe. And, they were all originally written in another language.
It's a wonder it isn't new gelatos all the way down.
Pastor E. W. Jackson obviously never played broken telephone as a child. Assuming he ever played games as a child. Or, ever was a child. If he had, he might have known that the book that he quotes to justify his homophobia contains admonitions such as "Love thy neighbour as thyself" and "Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me" and "Boogie down with thine own bad, bad self." Okay, one of these quotes has been disputed by Biblical scholars. The point, though, is that Jackson was not only quoting a text that had a questionable relationship to historical truth, but he wasn't even quoting the text in front of him honestly!
There's broken telephone, then there's bad faith. Do I have to point out which one gets you a condo in the Basket of Deplorables?
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Some Come Towards You When You Call Just To See The Look On Your Face As They Walk Past
A new study suggests that household cats recognize the sound of their own names. They just don't care enough to respond.
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel - Live! (On Tape Delay)
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
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I Say Potato, You Say Kill All The...
Over the last few weeks, Poland's governing Law and Justice Party has declared a war against homosexuals. Some members believe that demonizing homosexuals will help the Party win seats in the European Union elections in May, as well as Poland's national election in the fall.
The idea of riding an anti-homosexual wave has not gone over well with all of the Law and Justice Party's members. Some believe that the Party's path to victory would be to stick with its policy of stoking hatred of immigrants of colour.
"I'm afraid my colleagues are allowing their emotions to get the better of them, overriding their need to do what's right for the country," said Jaroslaw Kaczynski, the leader of the Law and Justice Party. It was not immediately clear which side he was accusing of not having the best interests of Poland at heart.
SOURCE: The Smarmian
[http://www.thesmarmian.com/world/2019/apr/25/pole-to-poll]
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Scoff If You Will, But Late Night Comedians Will Be Making Jokes About Toaster Oven-Headed Batboy For The Next Decade
American Media, Inc. Is selling The National Enquirer for $100 million. Readers of the tabloid may be forgiven for not knowing this. A small article on the sale was wedged between an article detailing how Hillary Clinton was responsible for the death of Archbishop Thomas Becket in 1170 and an article about a woman in Arizona giving birth to a bat with the head of a toaster oven.
SOURCE: Wryerson Journalism Review
[http://www.wryerson.ca/wrj/online/kellerman-swit1.html]
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From Shill To Shrill In 60 Nanoseconds
The ever-changing moods of President Donald Trump shill Rudy Guiliani:
nobody in the Trump campaign or administration had contacts with Russians nobody important in the Trump campaign or administration had contacts with Russians contacts with Russians by members of the Trump campaign had nothing to do with the 2016 election
okay, maybe taking campaign information from the Russians was illegal, but the President will pardon everybody who was involved, so why bother with any sort of trial or anything? okay, maybe the President doesn't have the moral authority to pardon everybody, but he had nothing to do with members of his campaign taking information from the Russians, so why doesn't everybody just leave him alone, already? orange is the new orange. Umm...am I still getting paid?
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=971&dir=bb]
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Death Becomes Her Friend
Georgia Engel, a long-time actor best known for her portrayal of Georgette on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, has died at the age of 70. She was actually supposed to die a decade earlier, but when Death first came for her, she invited Him in for tea and biscuits and He found her too nice to want to take.
Swedish actor Bibi Andersson, who made over 90 films, 13 with director Ingmar Bergman, has died at the age of 83. She met Death on the set of Bergman's The Seventh Seal, and they developed a friendship that would last the rest of her life. To show how strong their bond was, in 1963 Death flew into Germany for the Berlin Film Festival in order to watch Andersson collect the award for best actress for her performance in Vilgot Sjoman's The Mistress. "There was something...magical about Bibi," Death reminisced. "She wasn't only a terrific actress, but she was a caring, compassionate friend. First Georgia, now Bibi - there are days when I really hate my job!"
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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