Thank you, Blowhard Blechman, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, yes, we got our fingers botoxed after we had spent several hours in the pool. You think we wanted anybody to see our pruney fingers? We would have just died! Yes, we know that wrinkled skin after long exposure to liquids is perfectly natural, and, in any case, is a temporary condition. Still, whether we're riding a horse while playing tennis or doing a parallel bars routine while arguing a case before the Supreme Court, our hands are ambassadors for our bodies, so we figure injecting our digits with poison is a small price to pay for diplomatic success!
Enjoy,Snowflakes In Hell
Oh, no! American Christians are being paraded in the streets, stripped of their clothing and liberally whipped, hauling large wooden crucifixes on their backs until they come to a field where the crosses are erected and they are nailed to them and left to die of blood loss or dehydration or hungry vultures or some combination thereof. The horrors of the persecution! How can anybody with a conscience look upon these poor, suffering souls and -
Oh, wait. American Christians are actually being forced to accept that gay people are human beings who deserve the same human rights as everybody else? Well, it's practically the same thing as being crucified!
Phil Bryant seems to have his Gospel confused. He's the governor of Mississippi. He's not the modern equivalent of the early Christians - he's Pontius Pilate. Except, the original Pilate didn't complain that he was the one that was being persecuted. Say what you will about the Romans, but they sure knew how to wear their privilege!
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Don't Be Impressed - Fred Was "Coached"
He was the son of a well-respected academic family who made $129,000 on the television show Twenty-one in the mid-1950s. He was subsequently humiliated when it was revealed that he had been given many of the answers before episodes of the show aired, a subject that was made into the movie Quiz Show in 1994. He recently died at the age of 93 of natural causes.
BEEP!
Fred?
Who is...umm...Mamie - no, Charles...Charles...Charles Van Doren? Who is Charles Van Doren, Alex?
That's right!
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Zombie Backbenchers...Ghosts Of Glories Past...Vampiric Creatures Who Would Suck All The Life's Blood Out Of The United Kingdom - The Country Will Certainly Be Ready For The New Deadline!
The European Union has agreed to give Britain a six month extension to get Parliamentary approval for a deal to leave. The new deadline is October 31st, which only seems appropriate considering how many ghouls have been involved in the process so far.
SOURCE: Daily Semaphore
[http://www.opinion.semaphore.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUereDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DUereDE/s119/Os/07/JD141O.7wF!2qZiiv~/DUeReRR/
s119/Os/14/e7DUeReDR.ZvwF!2iG3gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=64831]
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Dinner With A View To A Kill
I'm willing to believe that the people who paid $149 for a reservation and $99 per person to attend Dinner With a View in glass domes under the Gardiner Expressway were unaware that a couple of weeks before the event homeless people were given notices evicting them from an area nearby. If the patrons had known, they would have complained that, for those prices, they should have been allowed to watch the floor show!
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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Fash And Carrey
1 of these days, Alessandra...) Why is Alessandra Mussolini, the granddaughter of Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, feuding with comedian Jim Carrey?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Towhey Eek! His Own
Conservative political hack Mark Towhey recently tweeted: "There is zero point keeping people alive to suffer in perpetual misery."
Unfortunately, he was talking about people who use Toronto's safe injection sites, not the Premier or members of his Cabinet.
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=922089]
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Ignore Pointless Nakedness? Why, The Carry On Gang Practically Invented It!
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Putting The Farce Back In Facebook, And The Titter Back In Twitter
Within three hours of shutting down a page sponsored by the Canadian Nationalist Front, there was a Facebook page for the Canadian Nationalist Font. When asked about it, a representative of Facebook stated, "It is not our policy to police what typefaces users employ."
A few days later, Twitter suspended an account associated with the Canadian Nationalist Front. Within hours, a new account for an organization called the Schanadian Schmationalist Schmont appeared. When asked about it, a representative of Twitter stated, "They're from Lithuania or someplace like that, aren't they? We don't discriminate against users from underrepresented parts of the world."
Parliament is looking into whether social media companies like Facebook and Twitter are doing enough to keep violent extremists from using their platforms to promote their racist ideology. Within minutes of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau saying that he was considering laws to deal with the problem, Facebook had closed the Canadian Nationalist Font page and Twitter had shut down the Schanadian Schmationalist Schmont account.
Who says the Internet cannot police itself?
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/110711/geeklynews/01jeandarchahaha.htm]
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If Only They Could Open A Franchise Under The Gardiner Expressway
POACHER SURPRISE
Served in the Kruger National Park in South Africa. No reservation required.
Ingredients
- 1 man hunting illegally
Preparation
- tenderize the meat by having an elephant trample on the man repeatedlyPoacher Surprise serves a party of four when served with gazelle appetizers. On its own, it serves one alpha lion and one of his guests, or three non-alpha lions.
SOURCE: Earth Worst! Journal
[http://www.earthworstjournal.org/article.php?id=511]
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