Thank you, Gerladine "Passing" Fancee, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we heard that the American Justice Department had arrested 50 people for paying to have their children attend elite schools. And, we thought, What is wrong with rich people today? They should have got their children into elite schools as legacies like their parents and their parents before them!
Is it any wonder the United States is in decline?
Enjoy,The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario (CPSO) has dismissed a complaint against Dr. Najma Ahmed after she spoke out in favour of gun control. The CPSO was responding to 70 complaints that appeared to have been spurred by the Canadian Coalition for Firearm Rights, which posted a step-by-step guide encouraging members to make them.
"How did we know the complaints shouldn't be taken seriously?" a representative of CPSO stated. "Okay, Elmer Fudd could have been a human being, but Goose? Kudos for being current, but, I mean, really: not only was goose not a human being, but he wasn't even from this planet!"
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20190316.eladvote0316_@/BNStory/newsOops2019/]
more
We Have Nothing To Fear But F - Oh, My Lord, Is That A Black Man With A Gun‽
President Donald Trump and Homeland Security officials held a press conference with families of people who were killed by illegal immigrants. "There are bad people on both sides," the President stated as people milled uncomfortably around him.
Will the White House be holding a similar event for victims of white supremacist violence? "Unlikely. We would have to rent out a football stadium," an anonymous source within the White House stated. "Besides, the President wouldn't be comfortable being surrounded by all those people of colour..."
SOURCE: The Podunk Mash & Enquirer
[http://www.podunkmash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49882-2009Mar15.html]
more
It's Hard To Tell The Good Guys From The Bad Guys Without An ICC Indictment
The head of the state-backed Saudi human-rights commission dismissed an international investigation into the killing of Jamal Khashoggi as interference on Thursday, and said everyone accused is facing justice in the kingdom. The United States will withdraw or deny visas to International Criminal Court personnel investigating war crimes by U.S. forces or allies in Afghanistan, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said on Friday.
In his remarks, the first substantive comments on the case by Saudi Arabia at a meeting of the UN Human Rights Council, Mr. al-Aiban said those on trial for what he described both as an "unfortunate accident" and a "heinous crime" had attended three hearings so far with their lawyers present. "We're prepared to take additional steps, including economic sanctions, if the ICC does not change its course."
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
more
You May Want To Rethink That Plan: Getting Out More Would Increase Your Risk Of Running Into People Like Fraser Anning
In the criminal justice system, it is a well established fact that if you leave your car unlocked, you deserve to have it stolen. And, if you don't have anti-virus software, you deserve to have your computer hijacked by hackers and your data held for ransom. And, if you walk into a bar dressed provocatively...in clothes...you deserve to be -
No, wait, that's the criminal justice system in the basket of deplorables. If you spend enough time studying the people who live there, it's easy to get their rules confused with those in the real world.
I...I think I need to get out more.
Following the attack on two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand which left 50 people dead, Fraser Anning, the Queensland senator, said this. There is a certain seduction in his logic: white supremacists wouldn't be able to attack Muslims if there were none in the country. There also seems to be a big flaw in the logic. A really big flaw. And, it is...umm...well, you know...the flaw is...is...is...
Darn it! I really need to get out more!
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
more
Don't Complain To Me - I Wasn't The One Who Named The Company!
Dick's Sporting Goods said it will stop selling firearms at 125 of its stores. The resulting free space will be used to sell higher-margin categories such as sports gear and outdoor recreation equipment.
"I...I've been really getting in touch with my feminine side," said CEO Ed Stack. "And, I knew something had to change. It was either lose the phallic weapons or change the name of the company, and I didn't want to replace all of our stationery!"
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB103403397490008414,11.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
more
Businesses Tell Ontario It Could Be Wider, But, All Things Considered, They Can't Complain
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=2673566238]
more
Turnabout Is Foul Play
BREXITEERS: The people have spoken! We must leave the European Union! That's how democracy works!
STAYERS: In poll after poll, a majority of people in Britain say they would rather stay in the European Union than leave. We should have another referendum to determine what people want now that they have seen some of the effects of Brexit.
BREXITEERS: The people are idiots! We must leave the European Union! Democracy doesn't work!
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=969&dir=bb]
more
A Cure For What Ails Thy Bottom Line
Yes, there is, Mister Big Pharmaceutical Company Executive! New BankRuptcy gives temporary relief from the pain of publicus litigiousness and other diseases of the spreadsheet! Now available in convenient capsule and expedited form, BankRuptcy works fast to rearrange your critical debt structure so that you can quickly get back to doing what you love most, whether it's playing golf, swimming in a hotel pool or buying expired drug patents and changing their formulae just enough to be able to patent them once again and sell them at a ridiculous mark-up.
Side effects may include: adverse public reaction; decrease in credit rating and accompanying increase in interest payments on loans; restricted cash flow; temporary paralysis of your Board of Directors. BankRuptcy should be part of a fiscally responsible budgeting process. Be sure and ask your lawyer if BankRuptcy is right for your company.
SOURCE: The Medical-Industrial Complex
[http://www.medical-industrial-complex.org/journals/micx/premature_distribution_syndrome/secure/2_pds.htm]
more
