Headlines Lead From Behind - From the Golden Behind...

The Best Possible Time Being Long After I'm Dead

"A trade slowdown is coming at the worst possible time for world economy, markets" - Globe and Mail

Why Not? It Worked For Tesla

"Minority shareholder Estee Lauder sues Toronto's Deciem to remove CEO for 'erratic' behaviour" - Toronto Star

Monumental Stupidity

"The border wall - a monument for the people, not the politicians" - Toronto Sun

Stoke Harder Because Current Levels Aren't Working?

"Hate crimes stats a warning to those who pander to fear" - Toronto Star

If This Approach Works, It Will Be Tried Next For Armed Robbery And Jaywalking

"B.C. climate plan opts for incentives over strong-arming
After year-long talks, industry signs on to NDP strategy that relies on rewarding business for changes rather than forcing them" - Globe and Mail

Serves Him Right For Getting His Paper From Paris

"MPP 'pushed limits' fighting French cuts" - Toronto Star

Could The Latter Be Because Of The Country's History Of The Former?

"Russia-Ukraine tensions are profoundly dangerous. The West must intervene" - Globe and Mail

 "The United States is the bad guy now" - Globe and Mail

Okay, THAT'S Too Easy!

"Making good food choices should be made easier" - Toronto Star

 "Roadkill on menu in growing number of U.S. states" - Toronto Star

It's Such A Fine Line

"On loving Ikea and hating it too" - Toronto Star

 "How do you make LOVE last?" - Toronto Star

 "Ottawa can do more to protect us from hate crimes" - Globe and Mail

 "LOVE RANCH HATE
Owner says political enemies forced him to close famed Nevada brothel" - Toronto Sun

 "Is Paradise a place to find true love?" - Toronto Star

 "Mothers and the other white women who drive hate in America" - Globe and Mail

 "The emails women love to hate" - Toronto Star

 "'I love our team. I love our brand. I love meeting people'" - Toronto Star

 "A neighbourhood built on tolerance mourns under hate's weight" - Globe and Mail

 "The evolution of mooncake
People either love or hate this treat eaten during Asian Mid-Autumn Festival" - Toronto Star

 "Trump and Kim 'fell in love'" - Toronto Sun

 "Faiths come together to stand against hate crimes" - Toronto Star

 "Shoppers love rewards credit cards. Retailers hate them" - Toronto Star

 "Hate your selfie? Blame the phone lens" - Toronto Sun

 "BETTER WITH RAGE
At age 94, Harry Leslie Smith is using technology not invented in his first 80 years - including Twitter and podcasts - to reach young people. His message: Fight for love and fair wages, and resist hate and Donald Trump. The young are listening" - Toronto Star

We're Doomed - New Year's, 2019 Edition

"How Canada can forge a path forward
Bold, visionary leaders are needed in the face of global instability" - Globe and Mail

Vows In Future To Only Have Pets On The Ocean

"New Crown star struggled with incontinent rabbits" - Toronto Sun

I Would Like, If I May, To Make The Borscht Case

"BMO's 2019 Toronto stock market outlook:
The best case, the base case and the basket case" - Globe and Mail

 Could You Have Used Any Squishier Sounds?
If I Were You, I Would Fire My Headline Sound Effects Person!

"Lots of tweets, lots of drama, then boof! a deal" - Toronto Star

And, Yet, I Don't Think Tighter Workplace Anti-Harassment Legislation Is What You Had in Mind...

"Kids are cruel. They learn it from us" - Globe and Mail

 "Plenty of bullies at work
Half of Canadian workers experience or witness harassment, survey says" - Toronto Star

Last Time, It Got Drunk And Threw Up All Over The NASDAQ's Nice New Curtains

"The TSX isn't invited to the stock market party. Here's why" - Globe and Mail

That's No Way To Talk About Short Sellers

"Giant Waddling Predators, Evolving Into Penguins" - New York Times

 Trying To Decide Is Making Me Gnash My Teeth, Which Is Giving Me A Headache
HOW CAN I DECIDE IN THIS CONDITION‽

"It is time to implement a universal dental plan" - Toronto Star

 "Let's make 2019 the year of pharmacare" - Globe and Mail

Will Make Their Retirement Planning Easier

"MPs want pardons to be easier to obtain" - Toronto Star

And, That's To STOP The Practice!

"Ontario police call for additional resources to meet carding report's recommendations" - Globe and Mail

Sometimes You Feel Like A Tirade...

"Amused, not outraged
We've come to expect Trump tirades by now" - Toronto Sun

...Sometimes You Don't

"How to negotiate with Trump? Just buy Canadian" - Toronto Star

Problematic Teens Do

"Pot use doesn't cause problematic teen behaviour, study says" - Globe and Mail

Michelin Raters Can Be Cruel

"Thai Paradise Gets New Label: 'Death Island'" - New York Times

 Same As It Always Was
And, Look Where Every Pol's Hand Was

"No lifeboats for the young on the good ship Brexit
The people with the most to lose have the least influence over their own fate" - Globe and Mail

Why Not? Art Buchwald Is No Longer Around To Challenge The Studio's Financing Of The Film

"Murphy confirms Coming to America 2" - Toronto Sun

Twenty Years After Everybody Else Had

"Economists link corporate consolidation to income inequality" - Toronto Star

Because Once They've Tasted Real Food, They'll Know What They're Missing?

"Higher minimum wage will hurt, not help, working poor" - Globe and Mail

DOES CSI: TORONTO ZOO KNOW ABOUT THIS?

"Man eats slug, dies 9 years later" - Toronto Sun

Considering Starting The No-fly List Was One, That Seems Appropriate

"Fixing no-fly list flaws a no-brainer" - Toronto Star

Or, What We Used To Call "A Friend's Basement"

"Doesn't that needle ya
You need a licence to do anything in this city - except set up a site to inject illegal drugs" - Toronto Sun