This is your early morning hiccup call…
Elmer Fudd was known as the dud crud stud…
I did my best to reach enlightenment, but mine was a sorry satori…
You say you don't like feminist movies? Jeez Thelma and Louise!
Sometimes Ravi Shankar takes himself too seriously. He really could use a sitarist satirist…
This is America, buster! Here, we pecan, not piquant!
Krazy Kat, The Kronus Quartet and the Keystone Kops ate Krispy Kreme kronuts in the crowsnest!
Be aloof - we need more loofs!
Being a free spirit doesn't come cheap!
I don't read Facebook in the morning - I don't like watching GIFs that are more animated than I am...
Always and ever always endeavour...
Peter Yarrow's harrowing arrow felled Mia Farrow's sparrow... Les Pages aux Folles: putting the cult back in culture!
Do you think the guy who sang "Grease is the Word" ever got into a fistfight with the guy who sang "Bird is the Word?" I mean, it's like Highlander - there can only be one, right?
Cara Danvers avers she was multiverse verse averse...
Do three Shakurs make a Sixpac?
I asked the universe why there was so much suffering. The universe responded: "Get more cheese in your diet..."
Threat me well and you will be reworded...
I was interested in being the chairman pro tem, but I didn't think I was qualified, so I would have settled for being chairman amateur tem...
Satchel's catcall catchall caterwauled...
To a cynic, life imitates fart...
When the going gets weird, the weird turn feral...
The Texas taxes for taxis went to the tea axers tucchises...
I don't really have enough experience to provoke, but I'm enthusiastic about my ability to amateurvoke...
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single cliche...
The freckled cuckold chuckled at Chucky...
Imitation is the sincerest form of intellectual property copyright infringement... Les Pages aux Folles: where every post is a witty riposte...
Low rise should always refer to jeans, not urban development!
Our dour hour went sour...
The best way to approach the Internet is to assume that .com means .comedy...
Don't count your words before they're written...
You can't stop the oil company: it takes a shellacking and keeps on fracking!
I want to do it right, so if I ever commit homicide, I sure hope it's gligent!
Do Ayatollahs on a diet issue thinwas?
Mince meat, not words!
The ninety entitled entities tattled on the a-list elitist...
Don't go in there, lobsters - it's a trap!
What is the opposite of potty mouth? Air freshener mouth? And, really, is telling somebody they have air freshener mouth better?
Remember: there is no Ira in tirade!
Clasp your Clio close to your cleavage, Chloe!
Listening to Rick Astley's song "Together Forever," I couldn't help but wonder if he was inspired by Sartre's No Exit...
Not all those who wonder are lost...
Zombies? No worries! We'll open a can of wormy whupass on 'em!
I should be able to get information about the country's demographics if I need it. After all, it's called StatsCan, not StatsCan't!
Should headache persist, stop banging your head against the wall. It will feel so good!
Mork loved signing off his reports to Orson on his IPod Nanu Nanu...
My favourite Greek actress/Spanish appetizer: Irene Tapas...
I don't react too quickly with violence! My feeling is: knee meet jerk...
"Get me out of here! Where's the sedan?" said Anne...
When chefs don't want to offend another's ability to fry food lightly and then stew it slowly in a closed container, they damn it with faint braise...
My favourite indie actress in a major science fiction television series/my other favourite indie actress in a major science fiction television series: Molly Parker Posey...
Ever since I found a psoriasis cream that works, I got 99 problems, but the itch ain't one...
My favourite French science fiction pioneer/Austin Powers actor: Jules Verne Troyer...
I may have mangled my prayers, but tomorrow is another Opus Dei...
My favourite spiritually enlightened saying/underwater creature: a mantra ray...
Do musicians have to sell out to sell out concerts?
You know what's a real contradiction in terms? Women's Libya...
My favourite Arrow actor/part of a sword: Stephen Pommel...
