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Collision...Collation...Collander Delusion - People Working Together Illegally

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

Hate has been getting a bum rap, lately, especially in the lamestream media (can't somebody shoot that broken down old mare and put it out of its misery?), although it's still okay to hate some people. For instance, Metrosexuals (people who have sex in subways?). Or, pudge bunnies. You can hate pound pushers all you want. Whatever. I'll never stop hating blacks and Jews and gays because, in these crazy times, somebody has to stand up for traditional Vesampuccerian values.

During the 2016 presidential election, I joined a Farcebook group called Lead Vesampucceri to Greatness From Behind. It seemed to articulate exactly how I was feeling about the state of the nation, especially when people posted comments like, "Aaaargh!", "Gack!" and "Ferk! Ferk! Ferk! Ferk! Ferk!" Five ferks - that's how you know that your rage has been really, really, really, really, really articulated. In short time, I was a devoted Behinder: I followed them on Twitherd and retweeped their anti-Roocartoncleveman messages hundreds of times during the campaign.

Imagine my surprise, shock, indignation and burning wrath when the Senate Unintelligence Committee revealed that LvtGFB was funded by the government of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick! Okay, now that I write out the group's initials, it does sound a bit queer. Still.

How can I tell the hate groups on Farcebook started by honest, hard-working, venom-filled Vesampuccerians like me from the the ones funded by a foreign power intent on corrupting our election?

Yo, Huggy,

Ads from the Farcebook groups are paid for in Imperial Pfennwigs. Duh.

Yo, Tech Answer Guy,

In response to a reasonable question from Hugh from Hellagoodonya (to wit: how can one tell if a Farcebook group has been organized by the Duchy of Grand Fenwick), you gave a flippant answer (half-wit: if it's paid for in Imperial Pfennwigs rather than good old Vesampuccerian dollars). How the heckaroonies is the average Joe who's workin' two jobs to not quite make ends meet while tryin' ta cope with a cheatin' mistress and seven ungrateful brat children who all need braces at the same time - what are the odds? - s'posed to know who paid for ads for a Farcebook group?

Yo, Joseph,

Okay, how about this? Everybody has to log on to teh Interwebz through an ISP. Find the URL of the ISP of the person who started the Farcebook group. If it ends in .fk, the group was probably sponsored by Fenwick.

Seriously? How are we supposed to know the ISP of the person who creates a Farcebook group?

Yo, Lenny,

I would have suggested you ask Farcebook, but it took them a year and a half to give the information to Congress, and they were none too pleased about doing that, I gotta tell you. None too pleased. Less than none, to be honest. They were less than none too pleased. Negative too pleased, if you will. So unless the magic Congress Fairy has sprinkled subpoena dust all over you, that's probably not going to work.

I...found myself a bit out of my depth on this one, so I asked Phil, the mechanic from the shop down the street about it. He knows things. He replied, "Are you kidding me? Roocartonclevemanists for Satan? Citizens for Separation of Blacks and State? Texas Muslims for 2nd Amendment Border Walls? They sound like parodies of actual Farcebook groups!

"But, I cannot help but feel that you're asking the wrong question. The common Joe, whether he's from Average, Illinana or anywhere else in the country, doesn't have the time or resources to check on the national origins of supposedly patriotic Farcebook pages. Farcebook, on the other hand, is preternaturally endowed with both. It could stop interference in our democratic process if it wanted to. The real question is: how can we make Farcebook want to...?

"Oh, and your racist readers? Douchenozzles, bro. Not cool."

I hope that answers the question, because Phil, the mechanic from the shop down the street had a lube job that was supposed to be picked up at two and he had to get back to it.

The Tech Answer Guy

If you are a dude with a question about the latest technology, ask The Tech Answer Guy by sending it to questions@lespagesauxfolles.ca. Just remember: The Macho Code of Manliness doesn't say anything about douchenozzles, but if Phil, the mechanic from the shop down the street says that they are uncool, bro, they are uncool, bro. He knows things.