Puns We Love to Hate Just Can't Compete With the President for Attention
Puns We Love to Hate just can't get enough of itself (any enjoyment you may get is a just a bonus).
1. Inane physical self-reference is just a matter of meta bollocks...
2. Don't cross the trumpet player. What Stan wants, Stan Getz...
3. If a cohort doesn't like a certain member, they start to apply disappear pressure...
4. The alcoholic bodybuilder who was always spilling things wanted six pack absorbers...
5. Whenever a French word has more than one meaning, it's good to live in the mot meant...
6. My family couldn't afford a pet bird - we just didn't have the budgie for it...
7. Jesus' admirers used to say, "Look at the parables on him!"
8. Pollution is destroying the world's coral? Good reef!
9. To people who didn't enjoy his music, Kurt was the Cobain of their existence...
10. You say it's three in the morning? NOT ON MY WATCH!
11. The incompetent drug dealer made a real hash of things...
12. When he woke up in the middle of the night, Hamlet asked himself, "To pee, or not to pee. That is the question..."
13. If you cannot travel through hyperspace with shields up, how are you supposed to practice safe parsecs?
14. The manager who decided everybody needed their own offices gave the cubicle order...
15. The unskilled fisherman was so bad, he was admonished, "Repent, poor seiner!"
16. At the beginning of every shift, the construction worker girdered his loins for the day ahead...
17. Do ghosts get seduced in the boo doir?
18. You hesitate to tell me who is giving the news report? Quit Lesley Stahling!
19. The French artist who only painted doors often talked about his oeuvre la porte...
20. The choir master who had too many voices in a single range shrugged and said it was alto the good...
21. You say sometimes you need to play hooky? Truant dat!
22. The climber who always had to be the smartest person in the room enjoyed climbing Mount Cleverest...
23. The spy in the elaborate wig was referred to as Mata Hairy...
24. If you insist on buying the rare baseball card, the Onus Wagner is on you to pay for it...
25. The activist fairy knew how to speak tooth to power...
26. If he dissents often enough, that Supreme Court judge will come to be known as a doubting Clarence Thomas...
27. It may not be your favourite genre, but when you have a Hammett, everything looks like a murder mystery...
28. The active pop singer could be said to have a Toni Basil metabolism...
29. The Jedi protecting the pagans said, "These are not the druids you're looking for..."
30. Alcoholics trying to cope with vicious canine offspring have to deal with the heir of the dog that bit them...
31. The Conspiracy Network is the Tea Party's favourite cabal news network...
Puns We Love to Hate tried to be speechless, but when it opened its mouth the words just came tumbling out...
1. You can't keep your container weights straight? Well, that just tares it!
2. I did my best to get backstage tickets to the concerts for my beau because I knew it was pass or fail for our relationship...
3. I was slow to do celebrity impressions, but better emulater than never...
4. The poorly designed fragrance's profits went down in attar defeat...
5. Don't hit the chef with that fossil of an extinct marine arachnomorph arthropod! You should never trilobite the hand that feeds you!
6. If its founders had been fonder of beer, Oklahoma may have been called The Schooner State...
7. Thanks to Twitter and Facebook, now the truth can be trolled!
8. You could say that the publication that studied fruit was a pear review journal...
9. You could say that right wing pundits know all the tricks of the tirade...
10. When she was just starting out, the model couldn't afford to buy food out, so she would Alley brown Bagget...
11. To show his solidarity with his fellow soldiers, the vet went on a killing esprit de corps...
12. For the lounge singer who lost his voice, the trill is gone...
13. Before the performance, the actor in the southern Shakespeare touring company said, "It's off to Othello I ago..."
14. You could say that everybody should go to the prom in the most expensive vehicle, but arriving at that conclusion would be a bit of a stretch limo...
15. If Tweety Bird lived in the Beehive State, would you respond to him with "You tot Utah a puddy tat?"
16. If Draco went into politics and was caught abusing the power of his office for personal gain, he would be guilty of Criminal Malfoysance...
17. If Robert Matthew Van Winkle had become an emergency room doctor instead of a rapper, would he have sung, "ICU ICU Baby?"
18. I wanted to get excited about the revival of the French spy comic strip of the 1960s, but the announcement left me Modesty Blase...
19. The key principle in the Tim Hortons bible: "Donut others as you would have them donut you..."
20. If he had lived in Quebec instead of Nova Scotia, the bandleader's show would have been called Don Messieurs' Jubilee...
21. The down low on the fruit that combines grapefruits, oranges and tangerines is the ugli truth...
22. If you have a bet that you are going to lose weight, remember: waist not, want not...
23. Never believe a poacher who claims that the chickens just fell into his burlap...
24. That Pennsylvania city is the best to live in, Wilkes-Barre none!
25. Sure, I remember Henry and Elizabeth. Their castle was Tudors down from us...
26. I'm prepared to sell knock-off watches. You could say I'm ready to Rolex...
27. When he went vacationing, King Henry V would often say, "Once more unto the beach, dear friends, once more..."
28. When I'm driving in a covered wagon with the star of Hail the Conquering Hero, I like to take the Ella Raines...
29. Natives should never despair as long as they can hold on to a ray of Hopi...
30. The man who started the fan page about the War of the Worlds star hoped he was Dakota Fanning the flames of her stardom...
31. When Mr. T's car ran out of gas, he would always grumble, "Ah pity the fuel!"
