Thank you, Alison "Tasty" Bagett, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we saw a silver-worthy performance in the public transit douchenozzletry Olympics. It was so masterful a performance, we had to record it for posterity:
In competitive public transit douchenozzletry, this is known as a "four-seater" (not to be confused with a common form of sedan). If this anonymous rider had just extended his legs a little further, he could have won the gold with a "five-seater" performance. Public transit douchenozzletry truly is a game of inches.
No, no, no! Dressing up as food that somebody left on the subway to rot and make everybody else's trip that much more...special might be great for Halloween, but it is immediately disqualifying in the public transit douchenozzletry Olympics! If you're going to do something like that to cover an extra seat, you may as well have your limbs stretched on the rack or use steroids! Which are illegal. So, don't.
Oh, you know what we mean!
Enjoy,Only Then, Will You Achieve Oneness With The System Of International Trade
There's no polite way to say this: President Donald Trump has become a zen master.
"We don't have any tariffs," he stated. Given that the United States had imposed tariffs on $250 billion of goods from China, about half of its imports from that country, as well as tariffs on steel and aluminum from Canada and other countries, some commentators accused the leader of the free world of lying.
In fact, he was asking us to look beyond the material world, which is ephemeral. Since all is change, tariffs contain within them the essence of non-tariffness, the President was clearly saying.
But, doesn't the fact that Trump tweeted earlier in the day that, "Billions of dollars are, and will be, coming into United States coffers because of Tariffs," reinforce the idea that he lied when he said that there were no tariffs? Again, no. As the Buddha said, and the President is reminding us, there are no contradictions. Both tariff and non-tariff are manifestations of ego. To understand international economic relations as they truly are, one must let go of the concept of tariffs, which, of course, means letting go of the concept of self.
SOURCE: Everyday Zen
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/EverydayZen/koan249.html]
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In The TV Racket, "Bold Experiment" Is A Synonym For "Ratings Disaster"
Tuesday. 8pm. ABC. Roseanne Without Roseanne. In a move that Samuel Beckett would have admired, ABC decided to continue producing Roseanne without its star after she said some...unfortunate things about other people. The character of Roseanne Conner will be represented as an empty space on the screen, and the other actors in the series will pause for silence whenever her character is supposed to say a line.
"It's a bold experiment in storytelling," explained Executive Producer Tom Werner, with all of the excitement of a funeral director presiding over a cremation. "It's just the sort of thing that will shake up how we think of prime time TV. Yeah. Sure, it - *SOB!* - will..."
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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MEMO TO THE LEADER: Good Start, But If You Really Want To Channel Your Inner Trump, You Have To Work "Enemy Of The People" Into Your Attack On The Media
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Those Videos Are Like Warm, Woollen Socks For Your Mind
The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (which should really be the CRTTC, but, to avoid confusion with local public transit, is known as the CRTC thanks to a strategically placed hyphen) held hearings to examine allegations that the country's biggest internet and phone companies used aggressive and misleading tactics to sell services to the public.
The first two days of hearings featured testimony from public interest groups and aggrieved individual customers. When the companies were called to testify, they played five straight hours of adorable kitten videos for three days. By the end of the hearings, nobody could remember what they were supposed to have been about, but everybody left with generalized warm, fuzzy feelings.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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The Premier Clearly Suffers From "Morphic Dysmorphic Disorder" (The Inability To Judge The Relative Size Of An Object)
0 for conduct) Premier Doug Ford says, "You know that I'm here to fight for the little guy." Match the little guy he's fighting for to the measure that his government has enacted:SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Frum Bad To Worse
David Frum will be debating Steve Bannon on the subject: "Be it resolved, the future of western politics is populist, not liberal..." Great. This is like inviting a lion and a tiger to debate the question: "Be it resolved, the future of western diets is meat, not vegetables..."
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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Donald Macdonald, who, as a Liberal MP, paved the way for a free trade deal with the United States, has died at the age of 86 of Alzheimer's. The fact that this came soon after the announcement of the consummation of the USMCA was likely a coincidence. Yeah. Sure, it was. A complete coincidence...
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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