The Daily Me - Sandford & Daughter

Thank you, Sandford & Daughter, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we wondered if we should stop accepting female interns for fear that they would falsely accuse us of sexual assault if they didn't like their monthly reviews. Or, the office coffee. Or...anything, really. If you're going to let your paranoia loose, you may as well let it get as much exercise as it can. That lasted a long time - almost three seconds. The truth is, we know that our odds of being hit by lightning while being attacked by a shark in a plane falling out of the sky because of catastrophic engine failure are greater than being falsely accused of sexual assault.

As for the medical professionals who are avoiding mentoring women because of fears that they might be falsely accused of sexual assault, isn't science predicated on the idea of fact-based decision-making? Sharks! Lightning! Planes falling out of the sky because of catastrophic engine failure! What more evidence do you need to do the right thing?

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

You've Got To Beware Of Those Fifth Collins

2 bad) According to Senator Susan Collins, Christine Blasey Ford's testimony about being sexually assaulted was credible, just not her claim that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh was the perpetrator. How tortured is this logic? a) "Fetch...the comfy chair!" tortured
b) try to parse a typical Donald Trump sentence tortured
c) threading a needle while dancing on the deck of the Titanic as it lurches towards the iceberg...while wearing oven mitts tortured

 2 sad) Collins said she had to support Kavanaugh because she believed in "the presumption of innocence." The presumption of innocence is the standard in a criminal trial. It has never been the standard in a job interview, which tends to use the "presumption of non-ooginess." Collins knows this. When Al Franken was accused of sexual misconduct, she didn't demand proof of his culpability beyond a reasonable doubt, she demanded that he resign without an investigation. Sooo...what is this PoI thing really about? a) covering her but (as in: "I think Brett Kavanaugh is going to make a dreadful Supreme Court justice, but...")
b) Collins was trying to go all New Agey on the Senate, but she mispronounced "the presumption of incense"
c) it's the standard that comes Sean Hannity approved

 2 dangerous 2 know) When you add this to Collins' belief, against the evidence, that Kavanaugh will not vote to overturn Roe v. Wade, you have to wonder why she decided to vote to confirm him. No? Well, let me wonder for you, then. Why did Senator Susan Collins decide to vote to confirm Brett Kavanaugh as a Supreme Court Justice? a) the White House assured her that he would do everything in his power to erase all evidence of her statement that she would definitely, absolutely, for sure, oh yeah only serve two terms if she was elected...in 1996
b) Chuck Grassley assured her that the vote was to protect kittens from exploitative Facebook video production companies...and she believed him
c) see the article below

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Are There No Depths To Which The Republicans Won't Sink?

Why did Susan Collins vote to put Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court? What could possibly motivate her to support somebody who had repeatedly lied to Congress, showed how partisan he was in his testimony and was credibly accused by more than one woman of aggressive, possibly criminal drunken sexual behaviour? The White House threatened that if she didn't vote to confirm Kavanaugh, President Trump would campaign for her in her next election in 2020!

Talk about playing hardball!

SOURCE: Cohan

[http://teamcoho.com/video/opening-monologue-10-04-18]
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I'm Not Saying Windows 10 Is Like A Chef Spitting Into The Food, I'm Just Saying...

Software users digitally settle.

WHAT YOU WANT: The developer to say: "Let's ask users what they want so that we can make the next iteration of the programme more useful for them."

WHAT YOU'LL SETTLE FOR: The developer saying: "Let's ignore what the users have told us they would like to see improved and change relatively unimportant aspects of the programme so we can save money."

WHAT YOU'LL GET: The developer thinking: "Let's look at what users have told us they would like to see improved, then do not only the opposite, but some random shit that they won't be expecting and will not find helpful in the least, because who the hell do they think they are to tell us what to do‽"

SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog

[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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I Could Have Added The Cause Of Death, But It Would Have Ruined The Rhyming Scheme...

If you knew Peggy Sue
Then you'd know why I feel blue
About Peggy, My Peggy Sue
Oh, she died last night
My lovely Peggy Sue

Peggy Sue, she was great
Died at the age of seventy-eight
Oh oh, Peggy, my Peggy Sue
Oh, she died last night
But I love my Peggy Sue

Peggy Sue Gerron Rackham
Was Buddy Holly's inspiration
Oh oh, Peggy, my Peggy Sue
Oh, she died last night
But I love my Peggy Sue
Well, she died last night,
But I love my Peggy Sue

SOURCE: Obits 'R Us

[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Pique Performance

Your athletes have been banned from important international sports competitions because they were caught using illicit drugs to enhance their performances. Do you apologize to the international community and pledge to police drug use among athletes in the future? Not if you're Russia, which has been accused of hacking the World Anti-Doping Agency, the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport, the Court of Arbitration for Sport and more athletic organizations than you could shake a hockey stick at.

When asked about the accusations, American President Donald Trump said, "How do we know it was Russia? I mean, it could have been China. We don't know. Do you know? Not you - you think you know everything. You and your fake news. You - the one who doesn't look like an overripe turnip who is shaking his head in agreement. Do you know? Of course, you don't. Until somebody has fully investigated China, I cannot say who did what."

When asked why China would want to do anything that could benefit Russia, Trump grinned and replied, "Confusion." Reporters had to admit that, if anybody knew anything about sowing confusion, it was the President.

SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report

[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml.htm#59201134935]
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