A Poke in the Eye of Reality and Three "Knyucks"

Chapter 1: Headlines Don't Know How to Ask This, But...

1. From Headline to Headache in 1,027 Easy Steps
2. Headlines Are Going For the Gold!
Even Though They Were Eliminated in the First Round
(Breaking and Entering May be Involved)
3. Headlines Wouldn't Blame You
4. Headlines Are No Shrinking Petunias!
5. Newspapers Just Can't Wait to Headline Your Bird Cage
6. Headlines Were Only In It For The Money - Isn't Everybody?
7. If Only You Got to Know Them, You Could Learn to Love Headlines...
8. Headlines Tried To Warn You, But Did You Listen?
9. Headlines Would Tell You About The Stain On Your Shirt
10. Headlines Lost Iraq
11. Headlines Would Have Done Better at the Pan Am Games If Only They Had Had More Government Support
12. Headlines Can't Connect To The Internet Right Now (Best To Give Them Room - They're Going Through Email Withdrawal)
13. Headlines Know That The Fixx Is In
14. Grasping for Wealth, Grasping for Straws - Headlines Can't Tell the Difference Any More
15. Headlines Liked Alice Cooper After Liking Alice Cooper Was Cool

Chapter 2: As the New President Has Shown, There Are Times When Being All Talk is Preferable to Taking Action...

16. Customer Dissatisfaction Survey
17. Big DICK Radio Goes Deep
18. The Egony and the Ecstasy
19. Og and Thag Defend the Romance Club
20. Switch Mitch
21. TRAVEL ADVISORY: Cloudy With a Chance of Taken 2
22. Big DICK Radio Does it All...For You...
23. The Donald Trumps Politics as Usual
24. You Think You've Been Sexually Assaulted? Ghomeshi Yourself!
25. Humour Passes on the Right
26. Big DICK Radio Caves to Demographic Reality
27. White Hunter, Black Friday
28. Putin's Posse Trump's Tream
29. Big Dick Radio Ties One In for the Holidays

Chapter 3: When the Going Gets Tough, The Headlines Get Weird

30. Frankly, I've Never Seen the APPeal...
31. People Who Get Their News On Their Cellphones Never Have To Wait in a Headline at a Newsstand
32. Journalism's Magic Number (It's Not What You Think)
33. Headlines Promise They Won't Wilt Under the Pressure (But Everybody Knows They Will)
34. You Have to Get App Pretty Early in the Morning to Succeed in This World
35. Headlines Are Waiting For Fu Manchu Moustaches To Come Back Into Style (Don’t Tell Headlines That They Never Were In Style, You’ll Only Hurt Their Feelings)
36. Not Tonight, Dear – I Have a Headline...
37. You Say You Want a Small, Single Purpose Programme For Your Portable Device? There's A...You Know For That...
38. Headlines' Slavish Devotion to Times New Roman Doomed to Go Unrequited
39. Five Comes Alive
40. Are Dogs Lying With Cats? Only One Thing To Do... HEADLINE FOR THE HILLS!
41. Tech APPreciation
42. What the Heck Do You Know? About Headlines...
43. Is It Better To Be Loved Or Feared?
Headlines Have The Answer

Chapter 4: What the Heck Do You Know? Doesn't Know How to Ask, So It's Going to Crib a Question From Headlines...

44. What the Heck Do You Know? Takes Arms Against a Sea of Troubles And, By Opposing, Ends Them
45. So You Think You Know What the Heck Do You Know?
46. What the Heck Do You Know?: 20 Questions Nobody Wants Answered
47. What the Heck Do You Know? Threw Up a Little Bit in Its Mouth
48. What the Heck Do You Know? Ponders the Most Important Question of the Election: Are We There Yet?
49. What the Heck Do You Know? Was Sick of the Election Campaign Before it Even Started!
50. What the Heck Do You Know? Is Reaching For a Title, Here...
51. No, What the Heck Do You Know? Will NOT Be Your Alibi!
52. What the Heck Do You Know? Was Sick of World Politics Before They Even Started!
53. What the Heck Do You Know? Wants Complex Answers to Simple Questions
54. What the Heck Do You Know? Makes a Point of Not Questioning Authority

Chapter 5: It's Not What You Say, It's...No, You Were Right: It IS What You Say!

55. Sailing Off Into the Sunset on Quoty McFloaty Boaty
56. Quotes Loom Small on the Horizon
57. The Quote...sest With the Mostest
58. Quotes Have High Hopes for 2016 (Ssh - Don't Say Anything to Disillusion Them)
59. Quotes Were Wondering if You Were Going to Eat That - Times Are Tough, You Know!
60. Quotes Stand By Their Word
61. Better To Remain Quiet And Be Thought a Fool Than To Quote a Fool and Remove All Doubt
62. Quotes Like To Throw The Word "Forsooth" Into Casual Conversation Just To Get A Reaction
63. Quotes Hate Themselves for Being Leafs Fans
64. Quotes Wonder If Maybe It's Time to Get Off Twitter
65. That Quote Could Have Been Your Neighbour!
66. You Shouldn't Have Said It If You Couldn't Live With the Cranberry Sauce!

Chapter 6: Who Likes Short Shorts?
Writers With Not a Lot to Say Like Short Shorts!

67. Puns We Love to Hate Wouldn't Have It Any Other Weigh
68. If You're Not Part of the Cover, You're Part of the Cover Up
69. When Does a Few of My favourite Things on Twitter Become an Avalanche?
70. Lies You Can Find on Twitter (Among Other Places)
71. Cover Ops Saved the Country
72. On Twitter, the Pun is Mightier Than the Word
73. If You Can't Be Silly on Twitter, What is it Good For?
74. A Few of My Favourite Things Seems to be Getting the Hang of Twitter
75. Puns, Huns and Pre-ovened Buns
76. False Facts, Real Twitter
77. If You Only Have One Thought A Week...
78. Twitter Punishment
79. I Don't Play Favourites, But on Twitter I Play My Favourites
80. [Insert Cover Joke Here]
81. When it Comes to Puns, It's a Fine Whine Between Love and Hate on Twitter

Chapter 7: When the Weird Get Going, The Pros Run for Cover

82. A Republican Nominating Convention Phantasmagoria
83. Frequently Unasked Questions: Those Crazy British Bastards
84. It Takes a Village to Populate a Bag of Crazy
85. The Conservative Playing the Ref to Gain Media Advantage Algorithm
86. Frequently Unasked Questions About How the Panama Papers Roll
87. You Know You're a Recipient of Male Privilege When...
88. Crazy? It's in the Bag!
89. The Reality-based Community Fails To Appreciate the Gravity of the Situation
90. Cold Climate, Hotline
91. Preaching to the Perverted
92. What If They Held a Protest and No Media Came?
93. Crazy is As Crazy Duhaflurgonblurgon-ha-ha!
94. The How Democracy Dies Algorithm

Chapter 8: About the Other Author

95. I'm Just a Fount of Too Much Information
96. Adventures in Education
97. The Littlest Klingon
98. I Like Playing the Long Can*Con
99. Wherein I Make Sport of My Exhibitionism