Quotes Loom Small on the Horizon

It's Donald Trump Versus Everything Else!

1. Donald Trump

"In Fact, I'm Not Even White!"

"Well just so you understand, I don't know anything about David Duke, or anything about what you're even talking about with White Supremacy or White Supremacists. So I don't know." - Donald Trump, responding to the news that he was endorsed by former KKK leader David Duke

Wow! Alfred Never Talked About The Joker Like This!

"To all my friends on FB, just a short note to you on our pus headed ‘president' !!!! This character who I refer to as zero (0) should have been taken out by our military and shot as an enemy agent in his first term !!!!!" - Facebook post by Anthony Senecal, who worked as Donald Trump's butler for 17 years before being named the in-house historian at the tycoon's Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach

And, We're Going To Do It By Talking Goodly English - Our Win Won't Be Ug!

"We're not going to lose. We are going to start winning again - and we're going to win bigly." - Donald Trump

 Of Course Donald Married Melania For Her Business Acumen
In Bed, They Do Nothing But Discuss The Best Strategies For Increasing Market Share And Which Dogs Of Stocks To Short

"Did you see her walk? Runway walk. My god is that good." - Chris Matthews into an open mike on Melania Trum

 "It is unfortunate to see the continuous inaccuracies and misrepresentations made by the media of Ms. Trump as anything less than the independently successful woman that she is." - a spokesperson for Melania Trump

 "Well, obviously it's great outer beauty. I mean, we could say politically correct that look doesn't matter, but the look obviously matters. Like you wouldn't have your job if you weren't beautiful." - Donald Trump on beauty pageants

 Of Course Not
Voters Hate Male Presidential Candidates Who Were Senators And Secretaries Of State

"She's got nothing else going. And, frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she'd get 5 per cent of the vote." - Donald Trump explains his accusation that Hillary Clinton was playing "the woman card"

Bringing Together The Week In Donald In A Single Pithy Quote

"They said I'd make a good lampshade." - journalist Julia Ioffe quotes one of the anti-Semitic tweets she received after being targeted by a white supremacist website that did not like her profile of Melania Trump

2. Everything Else

Sooooo....We Need A New Slogan? Or, Are You Thinking Of Something Radical, Like A Whole Rebranding Campaign?

"A war that has been fought for more than 40 years has not been won. When you do something for 40 years and it doesn't work, you need to change it." - Colombia President Juan Manuel Santos

 Talk About Being Stuck In The Middle Ages!
Guillotining People Should Be On Pay-per-view!

"What we ought to do is bring the guillotine back. We could have public executions." - Maine Governor Paul Lepage calls for the death penalty for drug traffickers

Have You Heard Maine Governor Paul Lepage's Solution To The Problem?

"We know it is impossible to arrest our way out of this problem." - Health Minister Jane Philpott explains Canada's plans to legalize marijuana to the UN

I Think Cops Indiscriminately Killing Black People Is Igniting Violence Against Cops, But, Uhh, I Don't Suppose You Want Me To Talk About THAT On Your Show...

"Do you believe that the Black Lives Matter crew and other radicals are igniting violence against cops?" - Bill O'Reilly

Until They Goose-step All Over Your Face

"I think comedy should be deployed. It's like, you speak violence, you speak their language. But you laugh at them when they're goose-stepping down the street, and it takes away their power. So, I'm suggesting that the Senate send in Amy Schumer and Chris Rock and Sacha Baron Cohen. Thank you." - Bono

I'll Agree With You Just As Soon As You Show Me The Research On The Health Effects Of Second-hand Pornography

"Pornography is more dangerous than second-hand smoke. If we can go against second-hand smoke and make such a difference, we can go against the pornography industry." - Utah Governor Gary Herbert

So...You're Suggesting That A Facebook Post Would Be A Better Way To Go?

"I don't think we're going to solve that problem, in the end, by having a tweet that implies violence being exercised against public office holders or anyone else." - Toronto Mayor John Tory on an angry tweet by Black Lives Matter activist Yursa Khogali

Cruz' Response: May I Use That Quote On My Campaign Poster?

"Lucifer in the flesh." - John Boehner describes Republican Presidential candidate Ted

Cruz

Cruz' Response: Flatter Me All You Like, But Carly Fiorina Is Still My First Choice For Running Mate!

"I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life." - John Boehner continues to describe Republican Presidential candidate Ted Cruz

 But, What About All The Things You Didn't Say?
The Anniversary Congratulations...
The Sweet Cooing In The Middle Of The Night...
The Returned Phone Call In The Middle Of The Government Shutdown...

"The truth of the matter is I don't know the man. I've met John Boehner two or three times in my life. If I have said 50 words to John Boehner, I would be surprised. And, every one of them has consisted of pleasantries." - Ted Cruz, responding to John Boehner's description of him

 So, You're Saying That There Are No Options Between Humiliating Rape Victims On The Stand And Being A Slave Of Patriarchy?
How Did You Get To Be A Top Lawyer With Logic Like That?

"I know what my role is in the system, and I know what my ethics are. I know who I am, and I'm not about to send myself back to the kitchen because someone doesn't like what I do." - John Ghomeshi's lawyere Marie Henein