Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Liked Alice Cooper After Liking Alice Cooper Was Cool
Headlines Liked Alice Cooper After Liking Alice Cooper Was Cool
You Didn't Appreciate The Benefits You Had, So We're Gong To Lump Them Together And Give Them To The CEO
"Huge restructuring hits Hamilton's CHC TV
Station fires all employees, makes new offers to some"
- Toronto Star
Millennialist Christians Jealous
"Ends of Days Looms for Coal"
- New York Times
Sssssss - The Sound Of A Copy Editor's Head About To Explode
"No more free passes?
Migrant crisi threatens EU hallmark"
- Toronto Sun
Keynes On The Long Run Still Valuable When Thinking About Stocks
"Stocks still valuable assets, in the long run"
- Globe and Mail
That's Not Scary Enough?! What's It Going To Take? A Sharknado?!
"To care, people need climate change scare"
- Toronto Star
"Extreme weather killed 600,000 in past 20 years: UN"
- Toronto Star
Still, Makes A Nice Change From Despicable Leaders Displaying Their Bad Intentions
"Your handy guide to the Paris climate talks
The meeting is nothing more than a chance for virtuous leaders to parade before the cameras and displays their good intentions"
- Globe and Mail
But, Really, This Joke's Just Not Funny Any More
"Morgan Stanley to cut jobs"
- Globe and Mail
"Deutsche Bank to slash jobs"
- Globe and Mail
"Cummins cuts jobs on weak demand"
- Globe and Mail
"Finning cuts jobs 8% as sales slump"
- Toronto Star
"Bell job cuts hit sports programming
Latest shakeup will see hundreds of staff let go; TSN talk show Off the Record to be pulled after 18 years on the air"
- Globe and Mail
"Kraft Heinz cutting 200 Ontario jobs
Condiments company to close 7 factories across U.S., Canada"
- Toronto Star
"Aimia cutting more than 200 jobs
Firm that runs Aeroplan says employees, some Canadian, will be gone by year's end"
- Toronto Star
"Maple Leaf Foods cuts more than 400 workers"
- Toronto Star
"Telus to cut 1,500 jobs"
- Globe and Mail
"Anglo's radical downsizing signals lasting mining slump
Metals giant to shrink by two-thirds, cut 85,000 jobs"
- Globe and Mail
So, I Have To Tell These Jedi Knights To Spend The Night Somewhere Else?
"Life is not a movie"
- Toronto Sun
Fortunately, I'm On The Case To Ensure That That Doesn't Happen
"If anything, Trudeau's honeymoon could last too long for his own good"
- Globe and Mail
...And My Approach Is Fast Acting
"Polls and deficit sour PM's honeymoon"
- Toronto Star
...Although Some Demographics Are More Resistant Than Others
"Trudeau's vision remains popular with millennials"
- Toronto Star
The News Isn't Really That Good, Then, Is It?
"'I am lonely every Saturday night'
Good news, Jennifer Lawrence is available - but only nice guys need apply"
- Toronto Sun
NOW YOU TELL ME?
"Investors, don't let human quirks and emotions get the better of you"
- Globe and Mail
To Your Sanity, Perhaps
"Admit radical islam is a threat"
- Toronto Sun
Whoa! Slow Down, Slick! Couldn't Fact-based Decision Making Start On Smaller Stuff? What's Science's Take On Cute Puppies? Once We've Settled The Cute Puppy Issue, Then I Might Be Ready For This...
"Study bolsters case for safe injection sites"
- Toronto Star
He Was Only Five! Don't You Think You're Reaching, Here?
"Trudeau fails first test"
- Toronto Sun
It's Just A Jump To The Left
And A Step To The Right
With Your Hands On Your Hips
You Bring Your Knees In Ti -
What? That Was Bold 40 Years Ago!
"Canadians back bold climate moves"
- Globe and Mail
That Kid Is Going To Grow Up To Be A Press Secretary
Or, An Alcoholic
Or, Both
"Toddler can name ministers in cabinet
Maryam Monsef, minister of democratic institutions, is 2-year-old's favourite"
- Toronto Star
Cancelling Your Subscription To Our Newspaper Would Be A Healthy Start
"FIGHTING THE FEAR
Battling terrorism means keeping your anxiety in check"
- Toronto Sun
Any Application To Human Beings Will be Sexist, So Don't Go There!
"Dogs will misbehave if it means eventual treat"
- Toronto Star
Not Boycotting Starbucks Was First Clue
"Politicians intolerant of Christians"
- Toronto Sun
Because It Absolutely Drives The Deniers' Discussion
"Realism, not rhetoric, must drive the climate discussion"
- Globe and Mail
What Part Of "Ongoing Investigation" Do You Not Understand?
"We can handle the truth
But RCMP, CSIS won't say how many radicals they're tracking"
- Toronto Sun
Who?
"Why Harper's influence will endure"
- Globe and Mail
But, Does That Take Away From The Time They Devote To Making The Rocking World Go Round?
"Fat-bottomed squirrels finding more time to dine"
- Toronto Star
Irony So Thick You Could Cut It With A Subpoena
"Duffy says Harper appointed him to gain Canadians' trust"
- Globe and Mail
And, That Was Just The First Five Seconds - It All Went Downhill From There In The Second Five, And The Following Five? Forget About It!
"Star has big goals for tablet
Company launches free news app in bid to reach younger readers"
- Toronto Star
"Toronto Star Touch now on Android
Free news app now available from Google Play store"
- Toronto Star
"Star Touch makes best of 2015 list
Innovative app delivers news in a compelling new way, now available for Android"
- Toronto Star
Finally, Corn Mazes Are Recognized As Fine Art!
"Farmer to represent Canada in Venice"
- Globe and Mail
Mno - Mwhy?
"Dictionaries are trying to keep up with Internet-speak, mkay?
- Toronto Star
