Headlines Lost Iraq

Prime Minister Harper Is Taking Notes...

"China's obsession with control" - Toronto Star

We All Want To Relive The Days When We Were Young, Carefree And Unconcerned About Proper Spelling

"Back to Neverland
Director Joe Wright explains resurecting Peter Pan" - Toronto Sun

Only An Idiot Would Offer Such Obvious Advice!

"Try being curious, not judgmental" - Globe and Mail

I Would Have Pegged Him As The Joker, But I Guess He Has The Right To His Own Delusions...

"Trump says he's Batman - he might be right" - Toronto Star

So...I'm Going To Say...Yes?

"$12-million question: Will anyone buy this home?" - Globe and Mail

 "Risk of housing crash low, RBC says" - Toronto Star

Oh! So Sorry! Our Party's Policies Are Focused On The Middle Class, And You No Longer Qualify...

"Keurig's slumping sales will cost jobs" - Toronto Star

 "CAE to cut jobs amid restructuring" - Globe and Mail

 "Blackberry shifts employees, cuts jobs as priorities change" - Toronto Star

 "American Apparel to close some stores, lay off workers" - Toronto Star

 "New Zealand cuts dairy jobs" - Globe and Mail

 "Firm behind Angry Bird to cut third of workforce" - Toronto Star

 "HTC to slash 15 per cent of staff as shares plunge" - Toronto Star

 "A 'sad day' after struggling CanJet suspendsd flights
35 flight attendants laid pff as Halifax-based discount carrier grounds remaining Boeing 737; 67 pilots were let go in May" - Toronto Star

 "Energy firms are slashing hundreds of Calgary jobs" - Toronto Star

 "Encana posts loss and cuts 200 jobs" - Toronto Star

 "Cenovus to lay off 300 to 400 staff" - Toronto Star

 "Caterpillar to cut 475 more jobs" - Globe and Mail

 "BBC to cut more than 1,000 jobs" - Toronto Star

 "Sobeys to slash 1,300 jobs" - Globe and Mail

 "Kraft Heinz slashing 2,500 positions" - Toronto Star

 "Deep job cuts unveiled as Shell profits drop
6,500 staff and contractors to be eliminated as costs are reduced by 10 per cent" - Toronto Star

 "Writedown sinks Microsoft results
Firm to axe 7,800 positions and narrow focus on mobile as Nokia purchase falls flat" - Toronto Star

He Will, Appropriately, Be Tried In The Media

"Bomber captured on video, Thai police say" - Toronto Star

Hope Springs Infernal

"Bloc 'pretty optimistic' about winning back Quebec" - Toronto Sun

 "Why Harper will win on Oct. 19" - Toronto Sun

Still, Replacing Flesh With Naugahyde Is Not The Answer

"Some are fine with skin, others can't bare it" - Toronto Star

Pro-democracy Newspaper Takes An Ugly Butterflyist Turn

"Help bring monarchs back from the brink" - Toronto Star

Police Canvas Area For Big Cat With Opposable Thumbs

"Alleged tiger poachers shot dead" - Toronto Sun

Through Your Ears?

"Eat your eggs the Turkish way" - Toronto Star

Because You Want To Buy Stocks As They're Going Down

"Plunging prices offer opportunity to buy" - Globe and Mail

A Shark Never Shot A Man In Toledo Just To Watch Him Die...

"Nature's most vicious predator? Humans" - Toronto Star

Although, In A World Where Reality Is What They Say It Is, It's Only A Matter Of Time...

"Reality fails to match Tories' jobs promise" - Globe and Mail

It's A Medical Procedure To Die For!

"We need to talk about euthanasia" - Toronto Star

I'm Torn Between Fire-Breathing And Machiavellian, Although I Suppose It Could Be Both

"What kind of monster is Amazon?" - Globe and Mail

Sure They Do! In The Same Way That They All Want To Catch Necrotizing Fasciitis

"Do politicians really want engaged citizens?" - Toronto Star

Would It Work Better For You If The Debate Was Held In A Pool Filled With Grease And The Candidates Wore Bikinis?

"Don't tell me I'm oppressed
Demands for a leader's debate focusing on 'women's issues' are unnecessary, regressive and insulting" - Toronto Sun

In An Alternate Universe Where It's Financially Viable

"Tesla car scores better than perfect" - Toronto Star

Love Is Truly Blind?

"MARKET CORRECTIONS
Why this looks like a temporary swoon, not a new trend" - Globe and Mail

They Have People To Be Bothered About That For Them

"Celebrities unbothered while stock market burns" - Toronto Star

 Of Course, If You Want War, You Have To Prepare For That, Too
I'm Not Really Sure What The Lesson Is Here...

"If you want peace, prepare for war" - Toronto Sun

Hell Hath No Fury Like An MP Scorned

"Brazeau calls on voters to oust Harper" - Toronto Star

That Would Make For Very Short Columns, Not To Mention Highly Repetitive Newspaper Financial Sections

"The three most difficult words for an economist: 'I don't know'" - Globe and Mail

Scientists Surprised - Thought They Were Getting A Whale

"35-year-old frozen sperm yields bison" - Toronto Sun

 How Hard Did You Look?
The Film Should Have Been Easy Enough To Find In The Science Fiction Section

"'Clara, you need to be careful to whom you open your heart'
Olympian's memoir traces her journey to finding serenity" - Toronto Star

You Mean, Since You Asked This Question Yesterday?

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE CANADIAN FILM INDUSTRY?" - Globe and Mail

I Don't Mean To Harp One Typos In Headlines, But...

"PM: We kept our promises
Tories delivered on all but on of 2011 pledges, Harper says" - Toronto Sun

Absolutely! Do You Have Any Idea How Many People Cancelled Their Newspaper Subscriptions Because They Were Disgusted By It?

"Will the Alan Kurdi photo actually change anything? - Toronto Star

 I Would Sarcastically Respond: "Blame Drug Users - Not Dealers"
But I Have A Feeling You Would Agree With That Position As Well

"Blame fossil fuel users - not producers
Campaigns to encourage divestment from hydrocarbon companies over environmental concerns are misguided and hypocritical" - Globe and Mail