Quotes Stand By Their Word

That Just Goes To Show The Value Of Good Planning

"If I had a rocket launcher
Some son of a bitch would die!" - Bruce Coburn, "If I Had a Rocket Launcher"

In The Alternate Reality In His Mind, The US Was Founded in 1956

"Our nation was founded on the slogan, 'In God We Trust.'" - Republican Presidential wannabe Marco Rubio

You Just Dropped The Writ - It's A Little Too Soon To Concede, Don't You Think?

"It's a choice between risk and stability, between half-baked ideas and a proven track record" - Prime Minister Stephen Harper

Conservatives Credibly Claim To Care About Poverty? Do You Have Any Proof Of This? A Newspaper Clipping, Some Audio, Anything?

"Progressives argue for a decent minimum wage plus generous tax credits to effectively fight poverty. Conservatives cannot oppose both decent minimum wages and more generous social programs while credibly claiming to care about poverty." - Andrew Jackson in The Globe and Mail

 Aren't You The Same People Who Said The Iraq War Would Be A Cakewalk?
How'd That Work Out For You? Or, The World?

"Preemptive military action is now inescapable." - John Bolton on the deal with Iran

 "Airstrikes to set back the Iranian nuclear weapons program are preferable to this deal." - Bill Kristol, ditto

Has Nobody Told You About Cars 2?

"At Pixar and Disney we only make sequels if we come up with a story that's as good as or better than the original. That's our rule. We don't do things just to print money." - Disney Chief Creative Officer John Lasseter

When Porn Invades Poland, Then Let's Talk

"Nothing can more efficiently destroy a person, fizzle their mind, evaporate their future, eliminate their potential or destroy society like pornography... It is worse than Hitler, worse than AIDS, cancer or any other epidemic. It is more catastrophic than nuclear holocaust, and it must be stopped." - Kamlesh Vaswani, a lawyer behind a legal fight to ban pornography in India

I Can See The Ad Now: "The Breakfast Of Former Champions"

"We're not saying it's a breakfast beer, but we're not saying it's not." - Ryan Petz, President of Fulton Brewery, which is teaming up with General Mils' Wheaties brand to create a beer made of - what else? - wheat

CAMPAIGN RULE #238: When Reducing A Complex Problem To A Single Talking Point, Make Sure It's A Talking Point That Your Government Has A Solid Record On

One of the "major drivers of missing and murdered aboriginal women is lack of economic activity, or simply put, a lack of a job." - Conservative candidate Bob Zimmer

Mister Christie, You Make Good Late Night Joke Fodder

"You need to clean out your ears." - Republican Presidential wannabe Chris Christie, hectoring a girl who asked him whether humans contribute to climate change by exhaling carbon dioxide, which he claimed he hadn't said even though earlier in that public appearance he had

Our Six Years Of Deficits Didn't Cause Financial Ruin Because...













...Niqabs!

"That is a recipe for ruin." - Prime Minister Stephen Harper warning that if either of the opposition parties get into power, they plan to run ongoing deficits

Clearly, Sir, That Toupee Is Cutting Off The Blood Flow To Your Brain

"Do you know how many Latinos work for me? Do you know how many Hispanics work for me? Thousands. They love me." - Republican Presidential wannabe Donald Trump

I'm Sorry, But Your Hair Looks Natural - So, How Can You Say Such Things?

"Has Trump wounded himself? Sure. And he'll probably do it again. But no one should be surprised if we're all calling him 'Mr. President' 18 months from now." - Toronto Sun guest columnist Wayne Allyn Root

Queen Elizabeth's Pleasure Pillows - That's An Image I'll Never Get Out Of My Head, Thank You Very Much!

"My pleasure pillows are purely for my husband. That's the good thing about getting older: you don't have to do that sort of thing any more." - Dame Helen Mirren on why she won't do nude scenes in the future

Just Be Sure To Hide The Sacrificed Virgins Before We Get There - You Don't Want To Make Things Too Easy For Us!

"You could be a satanic devil worshiper, and as long as you're a law-abiding citizen and you need help, we're going to help you." - Polk County, Georgia Sheriff Johnny Moats

Notice How Nobody On The Right Is Talking About Being A Compassionate Conservative Any More?

The "agenda" behind the movement of "so-called refugees" is to "move as many Muslims into European countries to change these countries in a major way. That's something that I certainly don't want to see happening in Canada." - Joe Daniel, Conservative candidate for Don Valley North

Going To Church Doesn't Make You A Communion Wafer, But, Then, Metaphors Don't Seem To Be Your Strong Suit...

"You don't need to go to church to be a Christian. If you go to Taco Bell, that doesn't make you a taco." - Justin Bieber

 How Much Meat Would A Justin Bieber Album Get?
Aww, Jeez - With A Music Collection Like This, I'm Going To Starve, Aren't I?

"The Madonna CD was definitely not worth a chicken." - Greek butcher Thodoris Roussos outlines his theory of bartering

I Would Vote For A Candidate Who Had Such A Vision Of - WHAAAAATTTTT?

"Our job is social inclusion. Our job is making all groups who come to this country, whatever their background, whatever their race, whatever their ethnicity, whatever their religion, feel at home in this country and be Canadians." - Stephen Harper, circa 2013

I'll Give Him This: It Takes A Singular Mind To Channel George W. Bush AND Donald Rumsfeld At The Same Time!

"I resist the notion - and I had this challenge as governor - because we had - look, stuff happens, there's always a crisis. And the impulse is always to do something and it's not necessarily the right thing to do." - Republican Presidential wannabe Jeb Bush, responding to calls for gun regulation in the wake of the latest mass shooting (and counting)

It's Even Triikcier To Write Newspaper Articles About It

"It's getting trickier and triciker to satirize this stuff." - Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, quoted in the Toronto Sun