Puns We Love to Hate will never die!
1. You could say that creating symphonic poems was on Franz' to-do Liszt...
2. Is a close friend of the senior crewman of the deck department his bosun buddy?
3. I don't believe it! Is that small stream for rill?
4. Is an ancient Egyptian symbol of life worn above the foot an ankhlet?
5. Are those Italian pastry desserts? One cannoli hope...
6. Am I good enough to go to University in Quebec? Come on! You can Laval with me!
7. The memo about the ending of Death of a Salesman was headed: "RE: Hearse!"
8. When making equine jewelry, horse hair is the mane ingredient...
9. The former marine sergeant turned magazine editor used to tell writers, "Don't SASE me, boy!"
10. When she found her copy of The Mammoth Hunters, she told herself, "Auel is not lost!"
11. When his defence mate rushed up ice, Bruin Bobby often felt like singing, "Alone Again, Orr..."
12. Does a comedian who has made it big have paunchlines?
13. If I said your modem had a beautiful baud rate, would you hold it against me?
14. The sign on the wall of the Mexican restaurant read: "In quesadilla, break glass..."
15. Did you hear about the actor who smoked a cigarette instead of joining the union? He cigged when he should have SAGged...
16. Could you say the guy who constantly looked for shortcuts was always up for new expediences?
17. The patriotic pumpkin always stands on gourd for thee...
18. What do you call Mayhem when it takes place in June?
19. Do a pair of 404 errors put you in an 808 state?
20. The chorister was tardy with the high-pitched vocal resembling a howl with trilling, but better ululate than never...
21. The striking mail sorter held a sign that read: "Stamp out the post office!"
22. Are you sure you want the last slice? Speak now, or forever hold your pizza!
23. When the heroine of a Truman Capote novel was caught with a cigarette, readers exclaimed, "Holly smokes!"
24. On New Year's Eve, do jewelers sing "Emerald Lang Syne?"
25. Actress Heard can use both hands, which makes her Amber-dextrous...
26. "I see out the window!" said the blinds man...
27. The favourite fruit of Star Trek fans everywhere? Klingon peaches...
28. When his loyalty was questioned, the minor aristocrat proclaimed: "You can Viscount on me!"
29. People who sing the praises of leaves of paper are preaching to the quire...
30. I suppose you could consider the series of photos of eagles' feet a talon show...
31. When he saw the dancer dressed in a tutu made of French francs, he remarked: "Moola la!"
This month, Puns We Love to Hate loves to hate you right back!
1. When apes overran William Randolph Hearst's compound, was it renamed San Simian?
2. Never argue with the jazz saxophonist. What Stan wants, Stan Getz...
3. The penguin making fun of a flightless bird? Oh, that's ostrich!
4. Why would the President support the bail-out of the car industry? He was Lee Iacoccaed up to the gills...
5. The novel about the art dealer was auction packed!
6. Is escalating warfare between nations tit for etat?
7. I don't mean to brag about how bad my cooking is, but I singe the body electric...
8. How do I love a by-product of making cheese? Let me count the wheys...
9. I tried to remember the name of the star of Little Nicky, but, honestly, I didn't know him from Adam Sandler...
10. You want to be a medical officer on a starship, but you're too shy to admit it? No need to be McCoy...
11. I was so confused about who starred in The Incredible Mister Limpet that I tied myself up in Don Knotts!
12. Why was Ivan chosen to direct Ghostbusters? He was the Reitman for the job...
13. Commercial plasma sales are a blood sell...
14. Does the Scrooge-like biologist say, "Amoeba, humbug!"
15. Would you say that the chef who lost all his dinnerware was in the delfts of despair?
16. I wanted my comments to be angry, but I'm obviously a rancour amateur...
17. The serial killer who twitched whenever he sized up a potential victim was a ticcing time bomb...
18. If you are boxing ovens for shipping, are you packing heat?
19. Could you call the poetic pill a rhyming caplet?
20. You could say that Tolkien was a man of many tall ents...
21. I considered asking Rapunzel for help, but she already had too much on her plait...
22. That comedian was a decent human being, the real Mort Sahl of the Earth...
23. Is a lazy person who stops a certain candy from speaking a lolly gagger?
24. I wanted to know how the cigar war started, but I was discouraged from looking into its cheroot causes...
25. The drape shouted at the promiscuous blinds: "You slat!"
26. When Mongolian children get hungry for potatoes, do their parents feed them Tatar tots?
27. When MPs sit to pass a bad law, have they experienced a laps of judgment?
28. Trying to make baseball player Enos listen to modern pop music is like leading Lamya to the Slaughter...
29. Neocon David should always start his grumpy columns "Fee fi fo Frum!"
30. When trust fund children start earning a living, you could say that they go off the stipend...
31. Don't expect to get rich being a visual artist: it's not a path to Easel Street...
