This month, puns we love to hate is ashamed of itself, but kind of proud, too.
1. Is love of a hot Greek beverage tea amo?
2. When he was just born, was actor Lane a neoNate?
3. Would getting rid of Fox' Roger be good for what Ailes America?
4. Stop asking about the capital of Vietnam! Are you TRYING to Hanoi me!
5. I know you can't stop thinking about hockey player Dane, but, really, Phaneuf is Phaneuf!
6. The Saudi bachelor wanted to eat chicken with his 17 wives, but no harem, no fowl...
7. Did looking over his TV dinner give Clarence a Birdseye view?
8. Our son likes playing with Star Trek weapons, but we're hoping it's just a phaser he's going through...
9. The guy who sacrificed everything for partially decayed vegetation did it for the love of peat...
10. When searching for the reason for the west coast catastrophe, San Francisco politicians cried, "It's San Andreas' fault!"
11. Tired of insomnia? You know, there's a nap for that...
12. All of the students at Pigeon University cheered when it went coo-ed...
13. What do you get when there's too much milk in your small specialty coffee? Too little, too latte...
14. Is the person on a seafaring vessel responsible for understanding language the ship's parser?
15. I detested the colour. It was so purplish brown, I could just puce!
16. She asked me to write down the reasons I didn't like her, but I hate to scribe motives...
17. Is destroying your mother's bed mattresside?
18. Who do I prefer: Laurel or Hardy? Well, it just Stans to reason...
19. Do parents in Asia long to hear the pitter pad thai of little feet?
20. I told her the hem was too high, but Maria tried to skirt the issue...
21. Pat didn't realize how lucky he was to lose all of his hair, because fortune favours the bald...
22. Jody considered throwing herself into the French river, but that would be in Seine.
23. If Hamlet loved Canadian painting, would he have said, "I smell a Pratt...?"
24. How do you greet a French person with a question about why he's brilliant in only one specialized area? Comment savant?
25. Is a dog that steals glances at its owner a sneak Peke?
26. I know you'd like to control who reads what you write on the Internet, but bloggers can't be choosers...
27. If Sartre had been watching his cholesterol levels, would he have written that LDL is other people?
28. When he was asked how he knew where the rocket would land, Sherlock Holmes replied, "Telemetry, my dear Watson..."
29. The vampire in love with the mortal wondered, "Will my love be in vein?"
30. Do opera singers have soar throats?
31. Dan had to be fired from Community because he could not promote on-set Harmon-y...
Puns we love to hate is back with a vengeance, baby!
1. I couldn't afford gold for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary, but, oh, the gilt!
2. You say your breath mint isn't working? Maybe you should try another Tic Tac!
3. Driving yourself crazy trying to remember the capital of Romania? Oh, why don't you give it a Bucharest!
4. If you boast about living in Argentina's capital and largest city, are you putting on Buenos Aires?
5. If you got actress Taylor to re-enact the gold body painting scene from Goldfinger, would you be gilding the Lili?
6. When it came time for the Christian Egyptian to go to court, he Copt a plea...
7. Is a strong desire to eat half of a secondary god's piece of chocolate cake a demi-urge?
8. Question heard at a cheese tasting: Was it gouda for you?
9. I didn't want to see the gourmet doctor - I was worried the epicure would be worse than the disease...
10. When a monkey replaced Conrad as the head of the corporation, I realized that, truly, orang is the new Black...
11. Is somebody who has to have burnt bread for breakfast lack toast intolerant?
12. Do cats greet each other with the question, "What's mew?"
13. Are Halloween donuts Tims of the season?
14. When it comes to traveling in France, it's Alsace or nothing...
15. I would tell you an old Vaudeville joke about eyesight, but it's too cornea...
16. He's a sucker for poetic language. You could say he likes putting on eres...
17. If you get a different point of view from a statistician/cable commentator, you're probably listening to Alternate Silver...
18. I like the song "Jump," but I guess that's just my Kriss Kross to bear...
19. Okay, so the liquorice spice didn't improve the stew. Still, it was anise idea...
20. I couldn't go onstage in my socks! The shoe must go on!
21. Are jokes about below zero temperatures feeezingers?
22. I like my cakes to have fruit fillings - that's just the way I jelly roll...
23. Would you call a Black Sabbath album about an unpleasant physical ailment: Diarrhea of a Madman?
24. Yiddish complaint about badly written hard-boiled detective fiction: "It's noirishkait!"
25. Canadian cream filled pastries are ehclairs...
26. If John Lennon had been a nomadic Arab, would he have staged a Bedouin for Peace?
27. If the beloved Canadian comic strip had been about Gaelic speakers, would it have been called For Better Or Erse?
28. Ballad about somebody who can no longer sing: "The Trill is Gone..."
29. Does the salmon chaplain worried about the fish-eating raptor start each sermon with "Let osprey?"
30. When Sam Spade investigated Charlie Brown's dog, he referred to him as :the snoopee..."
31. If the Enterprise crew had been made up of a Scottish clan, the away team would have been ordered: "Set Frasers on stun!"
