If You're Not Part of the Cover, You're Part of the Cover Up
I don't generally write fantasy, but, if I did, I hope I would have the courage to Pratchett what I preach...
If Zippy the pinhead was a stock broker, would he ask: "Are we having funds yet?"
To chair is human, to forgive divan... Les Pages aux Folles: now Parent Tested, Parent Disapproved (With Extreme Prejudice)...
Considering how poor my memory is becoming, I'm delighted that I don't repeat jokes!
The cop who pulled over the drunk driver had to ask, "Whose cider you on?"
The airy faery lived in an eerie aerie...
Now with 13% more sturm and a whopping 27% more drang!
Invariably anti-social, but rarely anti-socialist...
Sometimes I feel so bad, I want to go and pray, but people warn me not to have a piety party... Lady and the Tramp is the tale that scalawags the dog... Les Pages aux Folles: observational humour for those who will not see...
It's Hand a Fanta to Santa's Panda Month!
Ira Nayman - the 23,787th hardest working man in show biz...and climbing!
Stay away from the Gidget midget fidget widget!
Great gobs of goblin hemoglobin!
Where the effete elite meet to eat their feet...
The eleven elven eleves waited for the leavened leavings...
The appliance, on trial for being energy inefficient, refused to accept the verdict because it was not from a jury of its amperes...
And, then, bad things happened...
Princess Mononoke okey dokey in Okefenokee...
People who accuse me of having a developmental handicap should stop casting Asperger's on my good name! Les Pages aux Folles is a favourite with pirates everywhere! They like the cut of my gibberish...
The sewer steward skewered Seaward... Les Pages aux Folles: dry roasted humour with a honey glaze...
Butt crack my ass!
I want to drink that bird, but I find it hard to swallow...
Stuff and nonsense! Stuff and nonsense? Yeah, that pretty much sums up my writing...
This is where it gets convoluted...
As a rule, I don't follow people who write in a language I don't speak. Please don't take it personally...
Considering how poor my memory is becoming, I'm delighted that I don't repeat jokes!
"Don't assume you amuse me," the muse we use told us...
The damn dumb dam dump grew damp...
Adopt an independent inept adept...
Making the pockets of crack going off in my brain work for me since I was eight years old...
Bertie Wooster and David Schuster tied for biggest rooster booster...
Silly Willy ate chilly chile in Chile...
Odie rode in the odd rodeo...
But, mysteriously folks...
Sometimes, it looks like we're all here to make each other as miserable as possible. The good news, though, is then we die...
When I saw the gangster wailing on the slot machine that wouldn't pay him extra, I said, "Hey! If it ain't fixed, don't break it!"
Gerard was unflappable – you definitely could not use him to let small animals enter through the front door!
RE: grets: I have too few to mention... Italy: Italian Style!
Considering how poor my memory is becoming, I'm delighted that I don't repeat jokes!
Fog is rain that is too lazy to fall all the way to the ground...
You don't spell the word fantasy with a "q" – well, not in civilized countries, anyway!
My talent is not for sale!
But, for enough money, it can be rented...
I'd offer to sell original artwork, but you kind of have to be an artist to do that...
The Big Lie is just a saturation ad campaign away...
Considering how poor my memory is becoming, I'm – wait a minute...
It's the old porn maxim: if you introduce a dildo in the first act, somebody has to get off by the end of the third act...
A bird was tweeting outside my window one fine June morning. I think it was complaining about the snow...
I know more than you do...but since I can't recall much of it, you're safe...
When it was time to go to sleep, young Thomas Edison proclaimed, "All beds are bunk!"
I admire Audie Murphy's odd Audi audit...
The achiest atheist accused the ancient cyst alchemist of being anti-Crisco. Les Pages aux Folles redefines the definition of defining stuff!
It's not nonsense if you know the elephant survives...
Alright, everybody out of the gene pool!
Don't let your mouth make a promise that your brain can't keep...
Rebuff Ruffalo's buff buffalo...
