When I first saw the early bicycle comedy, I almost velocipede my pants!
When you think about it, you should really try not to think about it... Les Pages aux Folles: it may not be very good, but at least the portions are tiny...
Worried about a lecture about your weight? Don't bother: I never give a diet tribe diatribe...
I want to keep up with technological change, but I just can't face up to the fax... Your Morning Groaner: What would you call the headache a farmer has trying to determine whether or not he owns genetically modified crops? A migraine.
Looking for the best non-single song on an album? The first cut is the deepest...
I wanted to have furrysex, but you know what they say about the best played LANs of mice and men...
When it comes to making fun of racism, I caste a wide net...
I'm glad I switched from over the air TV to cable, because now I get immaculate reception...
Sorry, Romeo Void, but a girl in trouble is a CONtemporary thing...
Futures mirrored here may be closer than they appear...
When you update weekly, you'll do anything to avoid a void...
I am a camera...that eats, sleeps and dreams of - well, never mind about that...
When it comes to satire, it's the lack of thought that counts...
My favourite fossil fuel/black actor: Diesel Washington...
The fourth wall is for wimps (and the special attachment on your vacuum cleaner)!
He who blights and puns away, lives to blight another day...
If you stare into the Internet, it may be that the Internet is staring back at you...
If you push the envelop, it may be that the envelop is pushing back at you...
Stare not into the stupid, lest it be that the stupid gnyahhh aaaaiiiiiieeeee aaaaiiiiiieeeee!
Sure, I wanted a nine to five job, but, hey, shift happens...
Despise the limit!
This Yiddish complaint is brand spanking nu...?
How do you greet an Arab deli owner? "Salaam me!"
When it comes to musical theatre, I like to live life in the Nathan Lane...
My sequitur is so non it needs its own postal code!
Knowledge is a science to those who think and a religion to those who feel...
The following programme has been preempted so that we may bring you the following programme...
Yes, I like Celtic music, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna get all Enya face about it...
You may not notice, but I speak with an accident...
Why must you be a hairy tic heretic?
Should Margaret's reviews of mystery novels be considered Cannon?
Malthus was an optimist...
The evil oval is not available. Would you care for a core square?
You don't like my limp biz kit? Well, sucker, eat my Durst!
Please, don't berate the bare eight for what the bear ate...
Like wordplay? It's PUNDEMONIUM in here!
Coming Distractions...
Loonies and toonies - now, that's change I can believe in!
Does the Bible tell the woman who couldn't have children with her first three husbands to go fourth and multiply?
The best place on the Net to ignore the grimaces of grim asses...
If Ivan was given a little jolt of electricity, would his band be called Ohms Sans Chapeaux?
This call may be monitored to ensure you are not a dick to our staff - what did you think "quality control" meant?
Beware he who pares pairs of pears in despair...
When you hear people moaning because they've just seen an amniotic sac, you've just experienced a caul and response...
The Goof Hypothesis? I would never bet against it...
My favourite word expert/villain? Lexicon Luther...
While I am willing to take the brain surgeon's word for it, I don't want to put all my EEGs in one basket...
Note to the Marijuana smoking blogger who doesn't use capitals: shift or get off the pot!
Repossession is a lien and mean industry...
The universe runs on Yiddish...
The Web site that is guaranteed to reverse your hair loss and get you a higher paying job!
Only a fool leaves money to the heir of the dog that bit him...
If you say the right word in Germany, you've uttered a Bonn mot...
Forgetting your umbrella in a rainstorm? I hat when that happens...
Quenches your deep down thirst better than a late night colonoscopy in the desert!
