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Enjoy,He's A Man Who Wears Many Asshats
Q: I'm in something of a quandary. On the one hand, I want to oppose Jeff Sessions' appointment as Attorney General of the United States on the grounds that he's a racist asshat who labeled the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) 'un-American' and 'communist-inspired,' and who argued the groups 'forced civil rights down the throats of people.'" On the other hand, I feel that I should oppose him because he's a misogynistic asshat who repeatedly voted to allow violent, convicted anti-abortion offenders to escape their court-levied fines in bankruptcy and argued that grabbing women by the pussy, as Donald Trump boasted he could with impunity, was not sexual assault.
I feel like if I don't oppose the nomination, I will collapse into a puddle of unexpressed outrage. But, I want to be sure I do it right. Which criterion is the best?
A: You have to choose?
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=893&dir=bb]
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Soft Heads, Hard Exit
England has just concluded a trade agreement that will allow goods and services to flow more freely between it and the Turks and Caicos Islands.
"Get out of the European Union," muttered Minister of State for Trade and Investment Greg Hands. "You'll have no trouble making up the lost revenue. No trouble making up the lost revenue my arse! Idiots!"
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB122813093491114754,00.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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I'm Glad You Were Finally Able To Get That Off Your Chest...By, Uhh, Putting It On Your Chest...
SOURCE: T-dot ts
[http://t-dotts/store/new]
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You Say That Like It's A Good Thing
So, Donald Trump gets drunk in the middle of the night and writes angry tweets about people who pissed him off during the day.
He really is like the people who voted for him!
SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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As God Is My Witness, I Thought Reindeer Could Fly!
CNN accidentally ran 30 minutes of hardcore porn last week.
"We...we wanted to give viewers a break, you know, from all of the news and stuff," said shellshocked CNN spokesperson Daniela Weigday. "Something light. Something Christmasy. We settled on Rudolph's Horny North Pole Homecoming. I mean, reindeer have antlers, right? Antlers are just horns with pretensions, right? Right?"
Why did it take somebody at the network 30 minutes to realize that what they were airing was not light and Christmasy? "I...I wish I had a good answer for that," Weigday sobbed. "Oh, how I wish I had a good answer for that!"
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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Good Thing He's Not Racist, Or...
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Their Slogan Is: "All For One...No, That's It. All For One. You Were Expecting Something More?"
The Three Basketeers
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Deteriorating International Relations? It's A Shame
The war of words between China and North Korea is getting ugly.
Chinese Internet users have long called North Korea such things as "Fatty North Korea" and "North Fatty Fat Fatster Korea." At first, North Korea took the high road, telling China that fat-shaming an entire nation was "likely to lead to a nuclear war and not cool." Chinese Internet users replied, "Fatty Fat Fatso With an Extra Layer of Fatness on top of Its Fatuous Fatuosity...North Korea, We Mean."
In response, North Koreans have started posting messages like, "Nice hair, China. Cut it with a lawnmower?" and "China seems to be having a bad hair millennium! Oh, snap!"
One Chinese Farcebook user recently wrote, "Oh, yeah, well...North Korea should get out of its parents basement and try living in the real world for a change!" Only time will tell if this sentiment starts trending.
SOURCE: Demi-TASS
[http://en.demi-tass.com/russia/744168]
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There is an investigation into attempted Russian hacking of American voter lists which appears to have succeeded in at least four of the over 20 states under attack. The implication is that the Russian hackers could have purged legitimate Democratic voters from the rolls, handing close states to Donald Trump.
At the same, four counties in Wisconsin were caught padding the vote for Donald Trump. Suspicion was initially aroused because there appeared to be more votes cast than there were people who lived in those counties. At least one has acknowledged that it assigned 1,000 votes to Trump that he should not have had, and adjusted the totals accordingly.
"We take voter fraud very seriously," said FBI Director James Comey, "and will investigate these allegations to the fullest!" It would have been easier to believe in his sincerity if he had not been holding his press conference from the stage of Yuk Yuks Comedy Club.
SOURCE: The Podunk Mash & Enquirer
[http://www.podunkmash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49882-2016Nov23.html]
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