Thank you, Ryoichi Kodama, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, the other shoe dropped.
And, we had to go barefoot.
Until we got new shoes.
The next day.
Don't talk to us about privileged childhoods!
Enjoy,Note Every Bribe
Where are we on the National Energy Board (NEB)'s hearings into the Energy East Pipeline?
last year, the chair and two of the three NEB commissioners overseeing the review of the pipeline met with former Quebec Premier Jean Charest, then a lobbyist for TransCanada Corp, the company that wants to build the pipeline the NEB denied that the commissioners had discussed the pipeline with Charest (they apparently met in private to discuss their golf strokes) when it could not be denied that the pipeline was discussed, the NEB claimed that the commissioners did not know that Charest was a TransCanada lobbyist
the NEB promises to retcon knowledge of the meeting with Charest from the minds of the commissioners so that their vote on the pipeline is not tainted the NEB promises to retcon knowledge of the meeting from the minds of everybody in the country so that the vote won't appear to be tainted the NEB promises, okay, maybe, probably it's close to time to - *GULP* - review its practices to ensure that it looks like the organization might, you know, a little bit, be dealing with the problem of tainted approval votes
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=882&dir=bb]
more
What A McCain In The Ass!
Oh, no! McCain Foods is planning on stopping producing Pizza Pockets! Now where will teens get their shot of microwaveable cheesy, meaty, gooey goodness? Boooooooo!
Oh, wait! McCain Foods has announced that it isn't discontinuing the production of Pizza Pockets, it's just changing their shape and giving them new packaging! Yaaaaaaaaay!SOURCE: Jennifer's Brain Blorts
[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
more
When He Was Growing Up, The Former Congressman Must Have Been Taught That The Third Time Makes You A Charmer
Are names destiny? Former Congressman Anthony Weiner has once again been embroiled in a sexting scandal where he texted intimate photos of himself to an inappropriate young woman who was not his wife.
It was an honest mistake - Weiner thought he was auditioning for a part in the film Sausage Party!
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel - Live!
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
more
The CCC Has A Point - No! Two! Make That Two Points!
The CRTC has lowered the number of points required to make a film or TV production "Canadian," and, therefore, eligible for government support, to two out of ten. As you might imagine, this has caused much outrage in the creative community.
"Two points? You mean, we still have to hire Canadian music composers and picture editors," bitched CTV Vice President for Expressing Disappointment in Government Policy Marguerite du Pompe. "Fiiine! The background music in our shows will make eighties video game songs sound like Mozart, but if that's what it takes to satisfy the government, prepare to attend Canadian films wearing ear plugs!"
"Two points out of ten really doesn't sound like much," countered actor and member of Canadians for Canadian Canadianness Peter Kelleghan. "If my son brought home a math test where he only scored two out of ten, we would force him to watch Canadian-Bavarian-Italian-Slovenian co-productions until he smartened up!"
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
more
You Might Want To Dial Back The Offensive And Put The Charm Pedal To The Metal
Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has said that black lives are hopeless, black families are dysfunctional and areas with predominantly black residents are murderous cesspools. The term "war zones" may have been mentioned.
When asked when he planned to go on a charm offensive to woo black voters, Trump responded, "That was my charm offensive to woo black voters. They love me, those guys."
SOURCE: Down to the Newswire
[http://www.downtothenewswire.pl/1/11/Artykul/200235,Passion-trumps-reason]
more
Constable Benton Fraser Hangs His Head In Shame
The Fraser Institute has released its annual report that shows that Canadian household spending on food is unsustainable. The cost of food for the average Canadian has soared 1,939 per cent since 1961, according to the report, now making up 47 per cent of the average person's expenditures.
Of course, this only looks at half the picture. The Fraser Institute report does not look at the benefits of spending money on food, one of the main ones being not starving to death.
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1088591491813
&call_pageid=968330108492&col=963676972154]
more
Seems Pretty Clear What Religion Your Multifaith Group DOESN'T Represent
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
Donald Trump's Presidential campaign hit a new low yesterday as he appeared to get his talking points mixed up.
"Mexico is a wonderful country," he told a stunned audience. "I'm a big fan of tacos, and you have some really dedicated, hard-working people, and you've got some great beers and...and...what? Wait - what side of the border am I on?"
Pundits are suggesting that giving a speech obviously meant for a Mexican audience to an audience in Texas could be the last nail in the coffin of Trump's Presidential aspirations.
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
more
The Second Place Snowy Owl, Being White And Aloof, Might Seem Like A Better Choice
The Royal Canadian Geographical Society recently concluded a public contest to determine what the country's national bird should be. The winner, by a wide margin, was the loon.
"Oh, yeah, Canadians are definitely loony," said Can Geo comms mgr. Deborah Chapman. "I mean, when we create graffiti, it matches the pattern of the wall on which it is painted. How zany is that? And, when we riot in the streets, it's because our team won a sports championship. Or, lost a sports championship. But, I mean, it's not because of politics or anything icky like that.
"The loon. It's the national bird that Canada deserves."
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2016/09/03/iloonalone160903]
more