Thank you, Giuseppina Mensick, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, somebody we only knew socially told us that she was impressed by how gung ho we were for journalism. Say what? Did she call us a ho? Was she saying that we serviced journalists in, like, the broom closets of their corporate headquarters or something? And, what, exactly, is gung? The name of a really obscure sex position, or the name of a geographical location where the position was invented? Taken aback by our vehement response, the woman sputtered that she merely meant that we seemed quite avid about our avocation. You know, we seemed to be eager beavers.
Eager beavers? What could she have possibly have meant by that?
Enjoy,In an article on Prime Minister Justin Trudeau surveying the damage in Fort McMurray, you described him as "dressed fetchingly in jeans and a navy blue blazer, pouting in a manner that attractively signaled to the watching world just how emotionally devastating he found the destruction."
Really? In this day and age, you describe a leading Canadian politician like he was some kind of elite swimsuit model? For shame! You should focus on the man's policies and leave the description of his wardrobe for the fashion pages!
Rosemary Ripley(Have you never read any of our coverage of female politicians?)
SOURCE: Toronto Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2016/05/22/509727.html]
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When America Is Great Again, This Will Be One More Reason To Hate The French
The Louvre has a new exhibition of work called "Water + Brain = Damaged." It contains dozens of works, many by Old Masters, that have been temporarily marked to make it appear as if they have been damaged by water. The
"No, the works really were water damaged when the Seine overflowed its banks," said Louvre spokesperson Maurice Marleau. "This Exhibition was made possible by generous contributions from ExxonMobil, PetroChina, Royal Dutch Shell and other fossil fuel companies that are responsible for global warming."
Republican art lovers claimed that Marleau's statement was mangled in translation.
SOURCE: Art Splorts
[http://www.artsplorts.com/diary/id=9362]
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Politics in this country is dominated by corporatist vampires. The Republicans will happily suck the poor and middle classes dry. The Democrats will morosely suck the poor and middle classes largely dry, then offer them a band-aid for their wound.
The choice is clear. I guess.
SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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Killing the sale of armoured vehicles to Saudi Arabia could cost the Canadian government billions of dollars. It could also cost several current cabinet members their first born children. We just don't know.
Former Conservative International Trade Minister Ed Fast, who worked on the deal, said, "I'm not going to comment on the details of the contract. All I will say is that I wouldn't want to be a Liberal right now. Hee hee."
Former Conservative Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, who also worked on the deal, declined to discuss any of its details. He did, however, agree that he wouldn't want to be a Liberal right now, and laughed caustically.
The Saudi Arabian ambassador in Ottawa refused to respond to our questions, but did so in a way that intimated that he wouldn't want to be a Liberal right now.
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=
2788590831851&call_pageid=858339278411&col=368664972172]
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I Love Louie
Some politicians refuse to answer hypothetical questions on the not unreasonable grounds that they have to deal with what is, not the large number of things that could, maybe, possibly, you never know, perhaps, in one's wildest dreams, perchance, you really never know one day be. Then, there are politicians like Texas Representative Louie Gohmert, who talks about things that may be, in order to comment on what is. I think. Hypothetically.
Fortunately, we don't have to hypotheticize. We can simply read Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's Alternate Reality News Service article "How is the Eridanus Up There?", which is about the first interstellar journey to search for habitable planets. The 40 people chosen for the flight to the constellation Eridanus were all part of same sex pairs.
Why? The hundreds of thousands of stored sperm and eggs and the millions of computerized DNA sequences would ensure the genetic diversity of the human colony if the mission found a habitable planet. However, children born on the 20 year journey would strain the limited resources of the ship. Members of the ICSF (International Consortium of Spacefaring Folk) decided that an entirely gay crew would minimize the possibility of encountering this problem.
What does it say about a politician's grasp of reality when he can be refuted by reference to an article written by a fictional journalist for a non-existent news agency?
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Strange Bedfellows Require Strong Breath Mints
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says his government has relayed its "dissatisfaction" to China after its foreign minister lashed out against a Canadian reporter this week for asking a question about the country's human-rights record and the imprisonment of a Canadian missionary. Tuesday, in his most combative news conference yet, in a campaign where he has set a new standard for a contentious relationship with the news media, Trump finally addressed the matter before reporters. Speaking at his namesake Trump Tower in New York City, he continued to attack journalists for even asking questions about where the money went.
"I have to say your question is full of prejudice against China and arrogance, and I don't know where that is coming from. It is totally unacceptable," Mr. Wang said, waving his pen at Ms. Connolly. But Trump continued to attack the press for asking for accountability about the money. He called reporters "extremely dishonest," "sleazy," "biased," "nasty," "not good people" and more.
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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Great Man, Not So Great Profession
Yeah, umm, so...Muhammad, uhh, Greatest...butterfly...in the world. Heavyweight, you know, heavyweight, he was a heavyweight champion. Of the world. Ali! That was his name - Ali Clay. No, wait - Muhammad was in there, I'm sure - he died. That's it. Died. He was...74. World heavyweight champion. Black. Didn't matter. Muslim. Also didn't matter. Had demenseria...dementata - couldn't think, you know, straight. In his later life. Too many blows to the...the...too many blows...to the head. Henh. World heavyweight champion. Cassius...something. He will be, umm, remembered...
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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