Thank you, Pam Loraza, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we read about an attempt in Naples, Italy to make the world's longest pizza: 1,853.88 metres of ooey, gooey goodness, to be exact. The bakers used 2,000 kg of flour, 1,600 kg of tomatoes, 2,000 kg of mozzarella, 200 litres of oil and 30kg of fresh basil. They had to use lamps to cook the pizza, since, oddly enough, local politicians did not want them to build a 1,854.88 metre oven. After the event, the uneaten pizza was frozen and sent to Turkey, where it will be used to build shelters for Syrian refugees.
Enjoy,Reason Over Passion Doesn't Seem To Be Part Of His Sonny Ways
WANTED. Super-ego. National leader with anger issues needs somebody to sit at his left hand and urge restraint when it appears that he's about to go off the deep end and do something rash that the party's publicists will regret. Apply: Prime Minister's Office, Ottawa, Canada.
SOURCE: Your Guide To Getting Jobbed
[http://on.ygtgj.com/listings/040938.qrhtml]
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What Do You Mean, It's A Lie That Our Parents Were - I Hate You! You're A Terrible Web Site! A Terrible, Terrible Web Site!
Seven lies we tell ourselves to make it easier to sleep at night
1. Our parents were virgins when they married.SOURCE: The Web Page of Lists
[http://www.ListsPage.argh/2016/May/Word_Word.asp]
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Fake It Until You...Uhh...You Break It, You Bought It
So, here's a thought: what if, in the early 1990s, a public relations specialist named John Miller created a corporate alter-ego named Donald Trump. Miller took all of the worst aspects of the stereotyped American identity (boundless undeserved self-regard, sexism, racism, ignorance, bullying bluster) and created a capitalist monster in order to parody the excesses of the 1980s.
To Miller's surprise, people ate it up: the public couldn't get enough of the boorish know-nothing that he portrayed. In fact, 25 years later, Miller finds his creation a billionaire reality television star who has just become the Republican Party's candidate for President of the United States.
Stand-up comedians and performance artists can only look upon Miller's work with awe and envy.
Everything is threatened when a recording from 1991 in which you identified yourself as John Miller surfaces. At the time, your Trump persona admitted to being Miller, waving the whole thing off as a joke gone awry, in order to maintain the façade. But, that was then: now, how do you let go of a joke that you've been playing on the public for over two decades, a joke that has made you ridiculously wealthy and possibly the most powerful man on the planet? You don't, of course: you respond as if the whole incident never happened.
It's a crazy thought, to be sure. But, is it any more crazy than what the situation looks like: a successful entrepreneur created a PR person persona to talk to the press about how great he was? There's crazy, and then there's just plain nuts.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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I Would Like To Deeply And Sincerely Apologize...If Anybody Was Offended By This Joke
Q. What is the difference between "sexually inappropriate" behaviour and "sexual assault?"
A. Whether or not you can afford Marie Henein as a lawyer.
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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A Good Initiative Compromised By A Loophole So Big You Could Drive A Brinks Truck Full Of Campaign Funds Through It
INT. WYNNE'S OFFICE - DAY
Ontario Premier KATHLEEN WYNNE is talking to an AIDE.
AIDE: Premier, the public is outraged by the amount of money the Liberals raise in private fundraising functions. It appears as though you are selling influence for access.
PREMIER KATHLEEN WYNNE: I suppose we'll need to enact some campaign financing reforms.
AIDE: So, you'll ban private fundraisers?
WYNNE: We'll ban donations by corporations.
AIDE: How will that stop private fundraisers?
WYNNE: Is that we need to do?
AIDE: Yes, Premier.
WYNNE: Then, we'll ban donations by unions, too.
AIDE: I don't think you're clear on the -
WYNNE: And, while we're at it, we should cut the maximum allowable donation by an individual to $1,550. $9,975 is much too high.
AIDE: But...but...but...
WYNNE: That will show that we're serious about curbing the abuses of raising campaign money by holding private fundraisers!
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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His Bunkmate, Johnny "Rocky Knuckles" Jones, Offered Him A Tissue Instead Of The Usual Steel Bar Shiv
Frank "Diego" Ponzetti thought he was tough. As the leader of the Packrat Diabloseblowers biker gang, he had spent much of his life behind bars for murder, drug trafficking and hunting moose out of season. He didn't just crush beer cans with his hammy fist, he atomized them. Said it gave the clubhouse a nice aroma. What could make somebody like Ponzetti break down in tears?
The announcement that the new Ghostbusters film would have an all female cast.
"You...you don't understand," Ponzetti blubbered. "Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, the Stay-puft marshmallow man - these were such a big part of my childhood! I...I feel...I feel like an important part of my innocence has been destroyed by the announcement!"
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2016/2016/05/13/nofiegleafforthissituation/]
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Yeeeeaaaah, You Might Want To Give That Unfortunate Circumstance Some Serious Reflection, Hil
Donald Trump, citing rival Hillary Clinton's mild efforts to curb gun violence as proof that, if elected, she will personally go to every American's home and confiscate their weapons, suggested that she should not watch television series or films in which guns are discharged.
"If Scary Spice Hillary doesn't want us to have guns to defend ourselves," Trump reasoned (in the broadest sense of the term), "Why should she be able to watch people with guns for her entertainment?"
Clinton shook her head and muttered, "I can't believe I'm in a statistical dead heat with this clown!"
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2016/ALLPOLITICS/05/18/reps.main/index.html]
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