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Enjoy,
I think it's safe to say that Mary and Jesus didn't use their cellphones to call ahead for reservations, either, and they certainly didn't use Airbnb, or they wouldn't have ended up spending the night in a stable. And, they certainly hadn't traveled to Jerusalem to see the Middle Eastern premier of Mockinjay, Part 2; I know some people like to get to a theatre early to make sure they get seats, but 2,015 years seems excessive.
I also think it's safe to say that the federal agencies vetting refugees haven't had to confiscate a whole pile of suicide bomb vests at the US border. If they had, I'm sure some military contractor would have offered to repurpose the vests for American use, months late and at inflated costs, as is the American way.
The safest thing I think I can say is that Texas Republican Representative Brian Babin is highly delusional and probably should not be allowed to give interviews on important subjects, let alone hold public office. Maybe he has a problem parsing language, such that he believes that "travelled freely through Europe with their European passports" means "were refugees." Of course, if he's not delusional, he a raving, ignorant bigot, so the conclusion on his fitness for public office stands.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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If Only I Could Have Used That Defense In High School!
Bruce Carson, a former top aid to Stephen Harper, has been found not guilty of influence-peddling, even though he admitted that he tried to persuade government officials to buy water treatment systems being sold by a firm that employed his girlfriend. Why? Because the officials he tried to influence weren't the ones who could actually help him achieve his goal.
In short, stupidity has now been shown to be an effective defense against criminal charges.
Defense attorneys are already prepping clients on how to cheat on IQ tests to make themselves look 15 to 20 points dumber, and how to speak like they dropped out of grade three and were raised by wolves.
"This ruling is going to be very helpful to my clients," said defence attorney Saul Lippshitz. "I would have to be a complete moron not to use it!"
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2015/11/18/justice&justicer151118]
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For Some People Who Fail Upwards, The Sky Really Is The Limit!
Donald Trump has gone on record as disagreeing with new Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's decision that half of his cabinet will be made up of women. Trump said he will base his Cabinet choices exclusively on merit. Really? Merit? If merit is so important to him, how does Trump ever expect to become President?
SOURCE: Cohan
[http://teamcoho.com/video/dunking-mascots-11-12-15]
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Horror...Florid...Antipasto - Once You've Contacted Your Friends In The Media, Anything Is Possible...
INT. MOOSE JAW-LAKE CENTRE-LANIGAN CONSERVATIVE PARTY HEADQUARTERS
Conservative MP Tom Lukiwski, his Chief of Staff and three staffers sit at a conference table.
CHIEF OF STAFF: You called her WHAT?
TOM LUKIWSKI: (mumbles)
CHIEF OF STAFF: I'm sorry, what was that?
STAFFER ONE: An NDP whore.
STAFFER TWO punches STAFFER ONE in the shoulder.
STAFFER ONE: What? That's what he said!
CHIEF OF STAFF: Is that what you said?
LUKIWSKI: Well, she is an NDP whore!
Chief of Staff rubs his eyes warily.
CHIEF OF STAFF: Okay. This doesn't have to be bad. We just need to plant the idea with our friends in the press that you said something that sounds like "whore," but isn't. Thoughts?
STAFFER THREE: Bore?
STAFFER ONE: Ward?
STAFFER THREE: Core?
STAFFER TWO: Ford?
CHIEF OF STAFF: (suspicious) Like the Mayor of Toronto?
STAFFER TWO: No! No! Absolutely not! Like the...the...like the car company.
CHIEF OF STAFF: Better. Any other ideas?
STAFFER ONE: Warden?
STAFFER THREE: Gourd?
STAFFER TWO: Schnorrer?
LUKIWSKI: What does that mean?
STAFFER TWO: (shrugs) No idea. I think I heard a Jewish friend of mine say it once.
CHIEF OF STAFF: Does anybody know what it means?
The staffers look at each other, embarrassed.
CHIEF OF STAFF: Sorry - we can't use a word if we don't know if it will make things better or worse. Anybody else?
STAFFER THREE: Horde?
CHIEF OF STAFF: (snaps fingers) Of course! The barbarian hordes are at the gate and all that! Brilliant!
LUKIWSKI: (doubtful) But, calling a woman an NDP horde? Does that even make sense? I mean, can one person be a horde?
CHIEF OF STAFF: You should have thought of that before you opened your mouth!
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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Of Course, If You Had Offered Women Better Roles, It Might Not Have Come To This...
MGM has announced that Julia Roberts will be starring in a remake of The Greatest Story Every Told, playing John the Baptist. To accommodate Roberts'...womanness, the role will be rewritten as Joan the Baptist.
"I see Joan as a conflicted figure," Roberts said. "Dark at first, but eventually coming to the light. That a challenge that I always I relish. As for the controversy of casting a woman in this role, well, it's not worth anybody losing their head over!"
Christians were waiting for the adrenaline in their bodies to subside and their hearts to stop beating so fast before commenting.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2015/2015/11/13/juliauh/]
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Get Alexander Wang Or Donna Karan To Design Them, And Everybody Will Want To Wear One
Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has said that he would favour a database of Muslims, and some way to easily identify them. Might we suggest a yellow crescent sewn into their clothing? Tasteful and elegant, and everybody who sees it would know exactly what it meant.
Other Republican Presidential hopeful Ben Carson, not willing to cede the stage to Trump for too long, followed up with the statement: "I compared Middle Eastern refugees to rabid dogs, not rats. Your historical analogy breaks down on that point. I expect your apology by the end of the business day."
SOURCE: USA Whenever
[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/national/2015-11-18-remember-when-a-carson-was-intentionally-entertaining_x.htm]
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