Thank you, Dickie Arbiter, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we read about lions and bears and other wild animals roaming the streets of Tblisi, Georgia after flooding destroyed the enclosures they had been kept in. We thought that only happened in cheesy science fiction movies from the 1950s! Although, come to think of it, Russia and the states that used to make up the Soviet Union are sounding more and more like they exist in a 1950s time warp, so maybe the comparison isn't entirely inappropriate…
Enjoy,All They Need Is A Volleyball To Complete The Illusion
Jails in Ontario deny that they are not complying with new provincial guidelines on the use of solitary confinement.
"Look. Over there," said Darlene Dumpington, a guard at the Penetanguishene Facility for the Very, Very Naughty, pointing at a chalk drawing of a human stick figure on the back wall of a cell. "With the simple application of a little artistic ingenuity...difficult inmates can imagine that they have a constant companion while they are being isolated from the general population!"
Dumpington added, "For their own good," although she found it hard to inject much conviction in her voice.
The guard went on to say that the prison had experimented with putting an entire stick family of two adults, two point three children and a dog on the walls of some solitary cells, but prisoner advocate organizations complained that it was inhumane to make the small spaces so crowded. "Some people are never satisfied," she sighed.
SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2015/06/20/509727.html]
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Expect Him To Announce His Hair Is His Running Mate In The Next Week Or Two
Donald Trump has joined the field of candidates for the Republican Party Presidential nomination. "I have declared bankruptcy…more than once," Trump said in a feisty opening speech (with just a hint of tarragon). "I can empathize with what a lot of ordinary Americans are going through!"
Republican strategists and officials cringed at the thought of Trump grabbing attention away from the party's more serious candidates. Then, they realized that the party doesn't have any serious candidates, and they heartily welcomed him to the field.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2015Jun19.html]
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It Might Be A Good Idea To Remind Some Politicians Of This, Too
In the latest encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has connected global climate change to unfettered transnational capitalism. Somebody should remind the pontiff that the only purpose of corporations is to maximize returns for their shareholders; it most definitely is not to provide moral leadership in the world.
Eeeeeeeexcept, of course, for companies that respond to a public outcry against crises of their creation with promises to dedicate themselves to acting in a more morally responsible way in the future. The Pope should bear in mind, though, that these are very particular circumstances (stopping a decline in revenues due to a moral panic among customers), and that companies are bound by their charters to return to maximizing shareholder value as soon as the public's attention has turned to some other outrage.
If he is still unclear on the concept, perhaps the Pope should ask somebody at he Vatican Bank to explain it to him.
SOURCE: Ferbs
[http://www.ferbs.com/sites/kurtpoorenhausen/2015/06/22/blow-it-out-your-popehole-francis/]
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Putin On The Blitz
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper believes that actions have consequences. That is why he recently stated that, "Until there is real peace and until Ukraine's territorial sovereignty is restored, there must be ongoing consequences for the Putin regime."
Actions have consequences. So, for example, Canada should make reparations to its natives as a consequence of attempting to destroy their civilization by kidnapping their children and taking them to residential schools. Right?
"Exact - what?" Harper blinked. "No, wait, that - that - that was diff - how - how did we get on that subject? Never mind - not important - this press opportunity is over!"
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2015/06/20/consequencesareabitch150620]
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We're Also Biologically Wired To Beat The Crap Out Of Anybody Who Gets Between Us And What We Want, But The Whole Point Of Civilization Is…Oh, Right...
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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These Days, The Problem With Dancing The Charleston Is That Nobody Wants To Lead
How can you tell if you're one of the empathy-impaired members of a crazy chorus? Ask yourself a simple question: when a tragedy happens to other people, what is my first thought? If your first thought is, That's horrible! My heart goes out to the victims of this tragedy and their friends and family, you're a real human being. Congratulations. If, on the other hand, your first thought is How can I turn this tragedy to my political advantage?, well, I would suggest that you start singing, but you've probably already got the sheet music out and are warming up your voice, so I needn't bother.
Why were seven black people shot to death in a Charleston, South Carolina church by a white man? According to Senator Rand Paul, it's because they weren't Christian enough, and, anyway, government is too big. According to Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, it was because the murderer was evil, and who among us can understand evil, really? According to pro-gun advocate and Fox News darling John R. Lott, they were killed in a hail of gunfire because there weren't enough guns in the church. According to Texas Governor Rick Perry, it was because the killer was high on drugs, and, anyway, the Obama administration was politicizing the incident. Republican strategist and other Fox News darling contributor Tony Sayegh, agreed: the tragedy was being used by unscrupulous people to further their own political agendas.
Shame on them.
What did the killer think he was doing? His confederate flag and racist Facebook posts should have been clues. Then, there was a report that the killer stopped his shooting spree to say, "I have to do it. You [blacks] rape our women and you're taking over our country. And you have to go."
But, what does he know? He's never been a pundit on Fox News.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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