Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
I watched the Oscars last night. I don't know why I bother any more - other than the dresses...and the speeches...and because I love movies. Okay, I do understand why I bother any more, but, still, I am always frustrated by the blatant sexism displayed by the film industry at its gala event.
I mean, did you see Jack Nicholson's face? It looked like a plastic countertop at a cheap diner! It looked like the face of a Ken doll, without the iconic toy's mobile features. Jack could barely speak when he announced the best actor Oscar nominees - he looked like somebody had sown his lips together with invisible string.
Yeah, I may have been reaching with that last one, but you get my point: he had had so much surgery done that his face barely looked human. Hell, it barely looked Ventrosian Squigglian!
Contrast that with Goldie Hawn's appearance on the red carpet. The woman had more lines on her face than a studio executive has on his desk! (Think about it for a moment.) Her hair was greyer than the opening weekend box office projections of an indie romcom at Christmas! Hawn was called "distinguished" and "somebody who has aged gracefully" and "tortellini" (I must admit, I don't understand Italian celebrity journalists).
There is a clear double standard at work here (the signs around the manhole make it obvious): men are made fun of for looking their age but women are allowed to grow old naturally. Is there anything that can be done about it?
Sincerely,Yo, Bors (yeah, that was not a typo, I dropped the "i" intentionally - it's a thing I do - don't ask),
But - Goldie - Nicholson - plastic - desk - be - hunh - what?
Aaargh! This is one of those questions about a world where the gender roles are reversed, isn't it? I'm still not allowed to show my face on Earth Prime 5-8-3-0-2-1 dash delta after the last time I answered a question like this - the hominists on that planet have circulated wanted posters of me all over teh Interwebz (I'm not trying to be hip - hey! - why fake what comes natural? - that's what they call electronic communications in that reality - it's a thing they do - don't ask). They didn't have images of me, so they used a photo of Matthew McConaughey in my place - as you might imagine, I have mixed feelings about the protest.
AnyDrWho. My shrink says I have Non-traditional Gender Role Aversion Syndrome, but what the ferk does she know? My editor says every columnist has at least one blind spot, and that I should get retinal implants because it's embarrassing watching me walk into intellectual walls and poke myself in the eye with a proverbial cerebral straw trying to drink my beer. Yeah, like I can afford such an operation! My mom says I have a problem with strong women, but...I can't argue with my mother, so I'll just leave it at that.
So, uhh, yeah, about your question. Umm...I...like women...who look like women. And...following that...men should look like men. It stands to reason. But, ahh, I understand that these things are different in different times, places and stages of evolution (except for velociraptors - vicious bastards no matter what sex they are). So...good luck with that.
The Tech Answer GuyThat was about as helpful as drill bits during a famine!
Sincerely,Yo, Boring,
Yeah. Alright. You got me. This is not The Tech Answer Guy's strong suit. So, I passed your question along to Phil, the mechanic from the shop down the street. He knows things. This was his response:
"It takes all kinds to make a world. Some people are Fords - solidly built, if unspectacular, but good for people on a tight budget. Others are Ferraris - sleek, beautiful machines that barely get half a mile to the gallon and are so finicky you have to take them into the shop if they drive over a pebble. Both have their place: just as you wouldn't take your family on a trip to Disneyland in a Ferrari, you wouldn't drive through Monte Carlo in a Ford.
The important thing is that on the highway of life you assert your right to drive in whatever lane you desire. If that means signing petitions, holding up signs at protest rallies or otherwise signalling that you want to ease out of the status quo lane, more power to you!"
I couldn't have said it better. Trust me on that one.
The Tech Answer Guy
If you are a dude with a question about the latest technology, ask The Tech Answer Guy by sending it to questions@lespagesauxfolles.ca. Just remember: Yeah, The Tech Answer Guy will pass the hard questions on to people who are smarter than he is. It's a thing he does - just be grateful and don't ask!