Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Coulda Been Somebody - They Coulda Been a Contendah
Headlines Coulda Been Somebody - They Coulda Been a Contendah
As If Ezra Deserves Any More Attention!
"To the Levant, in search of family ghosts"
- Toronto Star
Although, To Be Honest, He Had Been Bending That Way His Whole Career
"In desperation, Doug Ford stoops to populist pandering"
- Globe and Mail
We Just Want People A Little Fearful, PMO Adds. A Full Scale Panic Would Scare The Horses...Not To Mention The Markets...
"'Kill any disbeliever'
But Canada will not be scared off by ISIS threats: PMO"
- Toronto Sun
Not As Much As Coupland Seems To Think
"'Nostalgia for the 20th century will get you nowhere'
Douglas Coupland's new book, Kitten Clone, has him pondering how the Web has rewired our brains"
- Globe and Mail
"We've met the NFL, and it is us
Our modern brain knows the violence is wrong. But the sponsors are right - our old brain can't bear to give up its pleasures"
- Globe and Mail
RCMP Will Deal With Disappearance Of Native Women As Soon As They're Done With This Case
"Tracing Lincoln's assassin's shadowy ties to Montreal"
- Toronto Star
As Usual, The Banks Will Scratch The Watchpuppy Behind The Ears And Coo At It About Being Responsible, And It Will Roll Over
"Banking watchdog to continue targeting excessive risk-taking"
- Globe and Mail
But, That Would Involve Science, And We're No Longer Besties, So We're Gonna Say It's The Ear Fairies
"When sound is too loud
How can sound damage our hearing?
To understand that, you have to understand how our hearing works in the first place"
- Toronto Sun
US Steel Responds, "Who?"
"Ontario objects to U.S. Steel plan"
- Toronto Star
What? You Wouldn't Even Have Known About The D68 Virus If We Hadn't Brought It Up? Maybe You Should Skip The Article...
"Your child has the sniffles? No need to panic over that D68 virus"
- Globe and Mail
They Could March With Humility, But How Likely Is That, Really?
"Mayors don't have to march with Pride"
- Toronto Sun
They're Going To Punch Ebola In The Face
And, If That Doesn't Work...They'll Punch Ebola In The Face Again!
"U.S. troops arrive in Africa to fight Ebola outbreak"
- Globe and Mail
You've Gotta Love A Candidate Who Goes Out On A Limb To Declare Her Support For The Arst
"Chow gets arsty at debate
Candidates talk transit at Artsvote meeting"
- Toronto Sun
Now THAT Is A Government That Has Planned For The Zombie Apocalypse!
"Sicilians Provide for Migrants, Living or Dead"
- New York Times
Do Citizens Drink? Bathe? Wash Their Clothes? Baptize Their Children?
"Do politicians care about our water?"
- Toronto Star
Aren't You Going To Spend Your Entire Column Doing Exactly That?
"Why can't we talk about Muslim fanatics?"
- Toronto Sun
Will They Be Playing More Games Than Any Other Team? And, How, Exactly, Would THAT Work?
"Leafs promise less hokey, more hockey"
- Toronto Star
Talk About A Dead Issue!
"Coroner's Lac-Megantic report calls for tougher federal regulations"
- Globe and Mail
But We're Going To Ignore Them And Do It Again
"Failed Interventions Offer Lessons"
- New York Times
Fans Will Find Hope Wherever They Can
"Will Twin Peaks reboot be damn fine or dud?"
- Toronto Star
"Coffee prices continue to surge"
- Globe and Mail
Sure, Mister Clooney, You Say That After Seven Seconds, But How Will You Feel After A Minute?
"George: I'm loving the married life"
- Toronto Sun
Is He Taking A Vow Of Silence?
"Lawyer says Black unlikely to reoffend"
- Globe and Mail
Just Initial Here...Here...And Over Here...
"BRP plans to build third pant in Mexico"
- Toronto Star
"CCL Industries stock fuelled by acquisition strategy"
- Globe and Mail
"Is Quebec IVF an 'open bar'"
- Globe and Mail
"'City overrun' by ISIS"
- Toronto Sun
"Element pays $1.4-billion for PHH auto leasing unit"
- Globe and Mail
"Canada's QLT merges with U.S. pharma Auxilium"
- Globe and Mail
"RSA to sell stake in Noraxis"
- Globe and Mail
"Tories deny shifting TPP talks to Ottawa to stymie protests"
- Globe and Mail
"Brent now, WTI later: Watch for near-term dip in crude"
- Globe and Mail
And, While We Have You In This Delusional State, Here's What We Should Do About IS...
"How to eat cauliflower - pretend it's popcorn"
- Toronto Star
Oh, So THAT'S Why There Are So Many Typos In Your Headlines
"Markets: 'People have forgotten what a correction...looks like'"
- Globe and Mail
True, They Stand For Everything You Oppose, But That Includes Winning Elections
"Progressives: Don't rule out Conservative Party"
- Toronto Sun
Really? That's What You Think? Have You Ever Read The Book Of Revelations?
"Ford election wouldn't be end of world"
- Toronto Star
Just As Israel Was Running Out Of High Value Targets, Too!
"Donors pledge $2.7-billion to rebuild war-ravaged Gaza"
- Globe and Mail
Which One?
"Candidates say Ford scandal still dominates election"
- Toronto Star
What Are Your Chances Of Getting Caught?
"Should you lie at work? That depends"
- Globe and Mail
