Headlines are Not Prepared to Take Responsibility for the Consequences

Expect A Panic, Though, If Russia Sent To Bed Without Its Supper

"Markets unfazed by Russia's time out from G8" - Toronto Star

Stop Me Before I Proofread Agrain

"Energy sector wary of rail legislation
Industry advocates criticize Ottawa's proposed plan to grant gain shipments permanent priority over crude oil" - Globe and Mail

If So, It Would Be The First Rational Thing The City Had Done In Years

"Should Toronto ration road space?" - Toronto Star

Twenty. Questions?

"Brampton man faces 20 robbery charges" - Toronto Star

 "Facebook to pay $19-billion for WhatsApp" - Globe and Mail

 "A deadly day, a massive crackdown - and a deepening crisis
After at least 18 people are killed in a bloody escalation of Ukraine's three-month political stalemate, the government blames the protesters, Moscow takes aim at Western meddling, and the European Union considers revisiting the issue of sanctions" - Globe and Mail

 "Ford declares 'war' on council Mayor unleashes long enemies list on YouTube, Calling on supporters to vote out 17 councillors" - Globe and Mail

 "Bruce waste site radiation 'underestimated,' scientists say Former long-time OPG employee says the 'numbers are not right' in 16-page letter to power firm" - Toronto Star

 "The curious life of Anson Hui
Rare disorder forces virtuoso, 15, to follow an ultra-strict routine. But he won't let that tie him down" - Toronto Star

 "Think nothing's changed for '14? Think again" - Toronto Star

 "Quebec shocked by nine deaths in just 13 days" - Globe and Mail

 "A wee dram, or 12, on Speyside's whisky trail" - Toronto Star

 "Tim Hortons passes on ice cream as value melts
Company nixes co-brand concept in Canada, closes 11 stores" - Toronto Star

 "Your MBA survival guide
We polled recent grads for tips, advice and toughest lessons. Here are their top 10" - Toronto Star

 "Roof collapse kills nine, traps 10" - Globe and Mail

 "Bombardier loses top business-jet ranking
Gulfstream had highest billing sin 2013 - a selling point Montreal company had enjoyed for eight years" - Globe and Mail

 "'Etherdome' incubator fosters new ideas
Successful business people known as 'G7' mentor MBA students on a micro level" - Toronto Star

 "My top European picks
Travel guru suggests six fabled locations he favours that are not inundated with tourists" - Toronto Star

 "Five dividend stocks for a frothy market" - Globe and Mail

 "Tory cuts could doom 4 species" - Toronto Star

 "Three amigos must revive spirit of NAFTA" - Globe and Mail

 "The job market paradox: Two measures, opposite trends, high stakes" - Globe and Mail

 "Gildan Activewear CEO selling $1 million in shares" - Toronto Star

Tory, On The Other Hand, Just Needs A Pulse

"Gee: Chow will need to come out with a vision for the city that everyone can embrace" - Globe and Mail

Og And Thag Become Life Coaches

"Do Good, Think Good, Feel Good" - New York Times

 Into The Jaws Of The Waiting Lion?
Over The Edge Of The Abyss?
Towards Ground Zero Of The Alien Invasion?

"Tory extols his virtues, slams foes
In launching campaign, he says he's the only candidate to move city 'forward'" - Toronto Star

Embarrassing Headlines Reveal Limits The Of Editorial Cutbacks

"Desperate hunt for jetliner reveals limits the of satellites" - Toronto Star

Oh, Please! That's Like The Pot Calling The Pot Black!

"New pot regime is going to pot" - Globe and Mail

Funny, But An Office Bully Smells Like Ink On Newsprint...

"The scent of an office bully" - Toronto Sun

 "HEY GRITS! NDP SMELLS YOUR FEAR" - Toronto Sun

Unlike Previous Mass Shootings Conducted By Sane People

"Mental instability blamed in shootings" - Globe and Mail

I Prefer "Support For Jets At Billy Bishop - A Take Off"

"Support for jets at Billy Bishop takes off" - Toronto Star

My, My, Whatever Will The Prime Minister Do?

"Companies urge go-slow approach to sanctions" - Globe and Mail article about Russia sending troops into Crimea

And, If That Doesn't Work, There's Always Drugs

"Tips for parents of veggie-haters
If your child lives with Vegetable Aversion Syndrome, recent research can help make peas more palatable" - Toronto Star

If It Isn't, It Should Be

"Wife's affair may be hurting marriage" - Toronto Sun

In Fact, Anecdotal Evidence Suggests Young People Would Appreciate Being Petted More

"Strokes not just for the elderly" - Globe and Mail

Me? Oww!

"Olivia Chow shows her claws at her inaugural campaign rally" - Toronto Star

It's Not My Fault - I'm A Pleasant, Easy-going Kind Of Guy...Really...

"EXPLAINER: WHY IRA DEAL IS DIVISIVE" - Toronto Star

 And, "Hello" Is Just Another Word For "Three"
And, "Obfuscation" Is Just Another Word For "Enteric"
And, "Promotion" Is Just Another Word For "I Need A CAT Scan Because Something In My Brain Is Messing With My Language Usage"

"For GM chief, 'crisis' is just another word for 'opportunity'" - Globe and Mail

People Who Were Paying Attention Doubted Them Before They Even Started

"Israeli-Palestinian peace talks in doubt" - Globe and Mail

When You Fall Off The Stage AND YOU HAVEN"T EVEN TAKEN IT YET

"When is an act too old to rock 'n' roll?" - Toronto Star

And You Thought Straw Was A Weak Material!

"Furniture for the digital age" - Globe and Mail

CEO Claims Market "Was A Bloodbath!"

"Abattoir files for creditor protection" - Toronto Star

If You Get Sucked In, You'll End Up In The Eye Of The Allergies

"Prepare yourself for the pollen vortex" - Toronto Star

Just Another Example Of Canadians' Relative Lack Of Ambition

"Man stabs four at office in North York" - Globe and Mail

 "Pittsburgh-area teen injures 22 in high school stabbing" - Globe and Mail

Offer To Give Journalists A Tour Of His Own Mind To Prove It

"Lawyers argue Conrad Black 'not the villain'" - Toronto Star

Inconceivable! That Would Mean That Colonel Mustard Has Been Rotting In Jail All These Years FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT!

"Did the 1995 referendum kill Quebec separatism?" - Toronto Star

DON'T DO IT!

"How to ease lawmakers' Comcast merger qualms" - Globe and Mail

Just Imagine All The Leisure Time You'll Have After You Die Of A Heart Attack!

"Yes, stress can be good
If we stopped complaining about how busy we are, we'd realize we need a certain amount of stress to do great work" - Globe and Mail