Wherein The Efforts Of My Web Goddess To Civilize Me Bring Mixed Results
In the afternoon, I went to see the live screening of the Metropolitan Opera's performance of Dvorak's Rusalka. I thought the characters were inconsistent (did the whole second act take place in Bizarro World?), the set was lit by somebody who is obviously allergic to photons and the plot was thinner than a character from Flatland. Still, Renee Fleming.
Then, I spent the evening in the company of Klingons.
Culture doesn't get much diverser than that. I love this city!
If It Helps You Accept The Idea, The Icing Is Laced With Arsenic
The event was the annual Klingon Assault Group (KAG) Feast. It was an evening of exchanging war stories, showing off new battle scars and...cake. Because Klingons are rough and tough and don't have anything to prove to anybody and...and...and, anyway, the enjoyment of cake is a constant among all intelligent species in the galaxy, and who are we to argue?
Targ, You're It!
Although many things took place at the event, the KAG Feast is primarily a culinary festival. I found it's best not to ask too many questions about the food. It's called targ? Good enough for me. No, really, I don't need to know how it lived or how you slaughter it to ensure that it's kosher for Jewish Klingons. (I have no idea if there are actually Jewish Klingons - somehow, I doubt it, but the thought amuses me, so let's just take it as given and move on.) The food was very tasty - that's all anybody needs to care about, really.
That having been said, I refuse to eat anything that is trying to escape. A human being among Klingons has to have some standards!
More Proof, As If More Proof Was Needed, Of The Ambiguity Of The Image
Evil Uhura shows us how to subdue a larger attacker with a small weapon that is easily hidden even in her attenuated clothing. Unless I am mistaken and it's actually Evil Naomi Campbell (if that's not redundant) who is showing us how to tickle somebody with a small weapon. It's hard to read the woman's expression - malice or amusement? With a knife at your throat, how much are you willing to gamble?
And, I'm Not Just Saying That Because Of The Blade
Chil is a big, intimidating man in civilian clothing. In costume, I wouldn't want to be on the same planet with him (if I didn't know that he was actually a sweetheart of a guy)!
The Hulk Booties Indicate A True Warrior In The Making
Ah, the littlest Klingon (note her chain-mailish vest). She was an angel through the feast and the battle scars competition. She did get a little cryey when the singing of the war songs began, but I could have sworn that she was actually trying to join in. You can't expect months-old younglings to know all the words, but what they lack in knowledge they more than make up for in enthusiasm!
Give Me A Break!
The party was served by two bathrooms out in the hallway (I gather competition for them was limited to knives no longer than six inches - Klingons are not barbarians!). Now, most of us grew up with bathroom doors that automatically unlock when you open them from the inside, but, apparently, these bathroom doors were built long ago in a galaxy far, far away, and could be opened from the inside without unlocking. Of course, Klingons have many ways of entering locked rooms, not all of them involving permanent damage to their doors...or walls, but, to make things go more smoothly, an announcement was made that everybody should be sure to unlock the doors before they left.
I went to the bathroom just before leaving the event. Being a little obsessive-compulsive, I spent two minutes in the bathroom and five minutes making sure the door wasn't locked - so, if it was locked after I left, it wasn't me.
The Sincere Bit (Don't Worry - I'll Keep It Short)
Congratulations to Merle Metalin, Krikor Ajemian and everybody else who organized the KAG Feast. Good times.
This Is Why The Klingon Empire Is Not A Democracy
Can we all agree that James T. Kirk was a better Enterprise Captain that Jean-Luc Picard?
Really? There's a few in every crowd! Well, can we at least agree that the trivia contest should have contained more questions about Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension?
Klingons have good taste in classic cult cinema.
