Headlines Filled the Awkward Silence
With an Even More Awkward Attempt at Humour

And Other Lessons From Bizarro World (DC Comics Has Much To Answer For!)

"How to keep up traditions by letting them die" - Toronto Star

Bet They'll Soon Regret Getting Their Compasses From The US

"For China, north is a new way to go west" - Globe and Mail

Then, Capital From Casinos Will Bring Low Lifes To Madrid

"Madrid's Casinos Bring New Life to the Capital" - New York Times

This Week In Canadian Celebrity Criminals

"Black must pay taxes on $5.1M, court rules" - Toronto Star

 "Full parole for Drabinsky clears way for comeback" - Toronto Star

You Won't Struggle As Much Against Your Inevitable Failure

"Lack confidence? That may be a good thing" - Globe and Mail

Although A Lot Of people Feel Some Traditions Are Worth Preserving

"Sex after marriage doesn't have to be boring" - Toronto Star

Just Like Eating Your Cake Will Guarantee That You Have More Of It

"Why the oil industry wants the U.S. to export
Some oil producers and politicians argue that allowing exports would increase energy self-sufficiency" - Globe and Mail

Proofreaders Gets Things Wrongs - Agains

"Judges orders pregnant woman off life support" - Globe and Mail

Peter Howell Should Make Up His Mind

"Down the online rabbit hole
Sundance films offer unsettling reality check as virtual realm becomes embedded in society" - Toronto Star

 "What if Jean-Luc Godard tweeted?" - Toronto Star

But, Don't Spread It Around

"Federal ad spending exceeds projections" - Globe and Mail

How Do Typos Get Into Headlines? Nobody Knowns!

"Author's big success begets Little Failure
Gary Shteyngart is know for funny writing, but he addresses mortality in his memoir" - Toronto Star

Just Like Caribou Are Not Nasal Decongestants

"Cigarettes aren't sex" - Globe and Mail

Talk About Versatile!

"Actor lauded for portrayal of Jack Layton
Rick Roberts couldn't accept award as he was in Victoria playing Stephen Harper" - Toronto Star

Sure, But I Don't Like The Way The Towel Tickles My Cerebral Cortex When I Dry Off

"Could you step away for a mental cleanse?" - Globe and Mail

Who Are You And What Have You Done With My Reactionary Newspaper?

"ARRESTING BIG WAGE HIKES
Emergency services just keep piling up benefits and pay hikes, but is it affordable?" - Toronto Sun

 "Pay hike is the bare minimum
$11 an hour 'still not enough to start or support a family properly'" - Toronto Sun

Wrong On So Many Levels!

"Give me a 'T Ho' on the road or give me nothing at all
I don't used the famed coffee shop for socializing, but for the far more difficult journeys" - Toronto Star

Let Other People Assume It AND Have Them Pay You When It Results In Disaster

"A more nuanced approach to risk" - Globe and Mail

People Who Are Paying Attention Refer To Such "Portrayals" As "Reality"

"McKenna: Tories' plan could be portrayed as gift to the wealthy" - Toronto Star

But, Don't Take It Too Forcefully

"Need a day? Take a day
Companies need to have a more flexible approach to sick days, some experts say" - Globe and Mail

 "Tories will push on for sick-leave reforms" - Toronto Star

If We Had Built A Casino Downtown, We Could Have Jailed Him For Failing To Cover His Debt To US

"T.O. MAN OWES $13M TO CASINOS
Charged with theft after failing to cover Las Vegas debt" - Toronto Sun

The Spirit Is Willing, But The Editing Is Weak

"Ssmells like team spirit" - Toronto Star

Greedhead Barbie Has A Lot To Answer For

"Defined benefit pensions not easy, companies say" - Toronto Star

Countdown To...Well, We're Not Sure, Really...

"Another perfect 10? Don't count on it" - Globe and Mail

 "Searching for accountability
Nine years after 71-year-old Christopher Blue died, his family is still trying to get answers" - Toronto Sun

 "8 seniors dead in fire" - Toronto Sun

 "Seven things I've learned about managing money" - Globe and Mail

 "Six habits of successful digital firms" - Globe and Mail

 "Climbing the five steps to leadership" - Globe and Mail

 "Auto rates drop by 4% in Ontario" - Toronto Star

 "To ease portfolio, focus on these three sectors" - Globe and Mail

 "When two rights collide, who's wrong?" - Globe and Mail

 "A video game hero at the age of 1" - Toronto Star

 "Two (relatively) painless ways to borrow in order to bolster your RRSP contribution" - Globe and Mail

 "Former tax official gets 3 years in prison" - Toronto Star

 "The difficult road to sobriety
Four experts weigh in on the struggle addicts face and how hard it can be to avoid relapses" - Globe and Mail

 "Five fresh findings on Family Ford" - Toronto Star

 "BLASTS TARGETING EGYPT POLICE KILL 6" - Toronto Sun

 "These Russian dolls bursting with pride
Seven-inch set brings colourful attention to Putin's anti-gay laws" - Toronto Star

 "'G-Zero,' not G-8, the new world order" - Toronto Star

 "Nine things you need to know about Tafelmusik's concert" - Globe and Mail

 "10 Great Grammy memories" - Toronto Sun

I Don't Understand - What Are You Getting As?

"At you grow older, what you don't eat can hurt you" - Toronto Star

Consolidated Hooker Considering Counter-mo - What? This Is Strictly Business!

"Deal: Bimbo gains access to Canadian and British markets" - Globe and Mail

Are You Sure You're Going After The Right Abusers?

"Tories get tough on child sex offenders
Bill would increase sentences, give border officials more power and allow public access to new database" - Toronto Star

 "Four-month-old dies in unlicensed daycare
Cause of death still unknown in fourth such incident in GTA over the last seven months" - Toronto Star