Quotes is...Concerned About Its International Reputation

As A Comedy Writer, I Found It Hard To Repress My Gag Reflex When I Read Your Column

"People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York - a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts - but not all - of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all." - Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen

I Wonder What Richard Cohen Would Make Of You

"It says I wanted to eat her pussy and I have never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I'm happily married. I've got more than enough to eat at home, thank you very much." - Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

Whatever You Do, Don't Make Eye Contact...DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT!

"The Sun News Network is set to air Ford Nation, staring Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and Councillor Doug Ford." - cutline on a Globe and Mail photo

Sure We Do, And We'll Shut Down The Government If You Don't Retract That Statement!

"You don't get to extract a ransom for doing your job, for doing what you're supposed to be doing anyway...just because there's a law there that you don't like." - President Barack Obama

As I Have Long Said: A Liberal Is A Conservative Whose Friend Is Being Investigated By The Police

"It is a touchy subject only because none of us want to pass judgment on someone who is going through a very difficult time." - Conservative Health Minister Rona Ambrose defends Rob Ford

 "I look at it as a humanity issue... I've looked at it strictly from a human dynamic point of view." - former tough on crime police chief, current Conservative Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino defends Rob Ford

 This is a case of "rank hypocrisy from mouthy journalists and gimcrack municipal politicians and...the confected and inflated sanctimony of prigs and twits... Nothing has come to light that disqualifies him from fulfilling the mandate the voters gave him." - Conrad Black defends Rob Ford

Well, Not This Second, No – He Has To Sleep Some Time

"The mayor is not hanging out with gang members." - Doug Ford defends his brother

You Think You've Heard All Of The Excuses For Being Cheap? Well...!

"Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD. Queers do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours. We hope you will see the tip your queer choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly. It is never too late for GOD's love, but none shall be spared for queers. May GOD have mercy on you." - note a group of Christian diners in Kansas left for a waiter instead of a tip

Obesity Is Not A Sign Of A Healthy Diet, Just As An Open Mouth Is – Well, Perhaps It's Best Not To Complete That Thought...

"They're eating better than they've ever eaten at any other time in their life." - Republican Senator James Inhofe on an epidemic of obesity in Guantanamo Bay detainees

 Media Crucifixion – Good Journalism
Jesus Likely Would Have Known The Difference...

"I identify with anyone who's been crucified by the media and has been subjected to a certain lynching...I've been through that myself, and I identify that I don't like it, it's no fun and it's not a good thing to have." - Conrad Black joins Rob Ford in his martyrdom to...well, we'll have to get back to you on that

Oh, Yeah, Education Is, Like, Totally Bogus

"I just love filming and I love my job and it would mean taking time out of that." - actor Daniel Radcliffe explaining why he has no plans to attend university

They're Known As Voters, But They're Not As Organized As You Seem To Think Or You'd Be Seeing More Pitchforks And Torches Right About Now...

"In my opinion, this is a clear, clear agenda, a very well-organized agenda from some of our competitors. In my opinion, they don't want Rob Ford here." - Doug Ford defends his brother, again...

 Finally, Somebody Talks About Socialized Medicine Like It Is!
I Remember When I Was First Diagnosed With A Heart Condition, I Waited So Long For Care In Canada That I Had A Coronary And Died! Died, I Tell You! I Was So Dead That –
Oh, Wait...

"A person can find out, here in the U.S., that he has this emergency situation where he has got to have immediate heart surgery. And if you are in a country other than the U.S., a lot of them, you can't get it done. In my case, with my age, that would have been about a six-month wait. Because I hadn't had a heart attack." - Oklahoma Republican Senator James Inhofe

Nobody Expects The Kentucky Fried Inquisition!

"It's all of the great things about KFC that Canadians already love with a fresh, contemporary twist!" - KFC Canada Chief Marketing Officer David Vivenes, on the menu of the fast food franchise's upscale new select locations that doesn't include its signature chicken dish

Frankly, I'm Incented To Mockery By Your Arcane Verbization

"I think in some cases measures taken by government perversely incent small business to stay small." - Eric Hoskins, Ontario Economic Development Minister He Has The Self-destructive Tendencies Down
If Only He Played A Musical Instrument...

Toronto's media practice "Soviet Stalin-era Pravda journalism. You don't talk to the common folk like we do, from one end of the city to the other. You don't go to events that the mayor goes to, like we have every night, where he walks in there – he's a rock star." - Doug Ford defends his brother once more, although how much it actually helps the cause is becoming increasingly into question

Is That Even Possible?!

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it." - Thomas Babington Macaulay