Quotes Float Yer Boat (In a Remote Moat!)

Are You Sure It Wasn't Caused By - Aww, You Know, Sometimes He Makes The Drug Jokes Too Easy!

"It is a year until we're back at the polls, folks, and I'm just drooling - I am absolutely salivating - for this next election." - Rob Ford on his weekly radio show

I Like Mine With Nilpickles And Absentonions

"The good news is that on a day-to-day economic basis, four days of shutdown are adding up to a great big nothingburger for Canada." - Toronto Star article on the American government shutdown

 Do You Think He Will Respond To The Inevitable Criticism With "I'm Not Racist, But..." Or Go Straight To "I'm Sorry If Anybody Was Offended By What I Said"?
I'm Sure He Appreciates Having Choices

"We won't include gays in our ads, because we like the traditional family. If gays don't like it, they can always eat another brand of pasta. Everyone is free to do what they want, provided it doesn't bother anyone else." - Guido Barilla, Chairman of the Italian pasta company named after his family

"                                ," Stephen Harper Today

"We're going to put an end to the culture of entitlement and replace it with a culture centred on accountability. You can't govern effectively without trust. And, there can be no trust without integrity and transparency." - Stephen Harper, 2006

Still, I Probably Shouldn't Refer To My Caucus Members That Way

"They are tools to explain why it's just as realistic to one day become independent as it was 30 or 40 years ago." - Quebec Premier Pauline Marois

So Much For The Writer's Imagination

"Usually at the beginning of the semester a hand shoots up and someone asks why there aren't any women writers in the course. I say I don't love women writers enough to teach them. If you want women writers, go down the hall." - author and University of Toronto instructor David Gilmour

Be Reasonable: It's Not Like We Can Blame The Telegraph Any More...

"It has become a fall ritual to decry the impact of technology on the young. iPhones are making them lazy! iPads are the scourge of the intellect!" - Globe and Mail

And, The Dog Ate His Teleprompter

"In the movie Gattaca — in the not too distant future - eugenics is common. And, DNA plays a primary role in determining your social class." - Senator Rand Paul, in a speech on eugenics "In the not-too-distant future, liberal eugenics is common and DNA plays the primary role in determining social class." - the first sentence of the plot summary of the film Gattaca on Wikipedia

Instead, People Need To Listen To The Dispassionate, Wholly Unbiased Advice That Oil Company Executives Give

"The project has been hijacked by activists that are opposed to the development of all fossil fuels." - TransCanada Corporation CEO Ross Girling on the Keystone XL pipeline

Uhh, Doug, Do You Listen To Your Own Radio Show?

"Rob doesn't judge people. He doesn't throw the book at them. There are a lot of people in this country that deserve a second chance..." - Toronto Councillor Doug Ford about his brother, Mayor Rob

That Whole "American People Rising Up" Thing: Was That When They Elected Barack Obama The First Time Or The Second Time?

"The American people rose up and spoke with an overwhelming voice and at least at this stage Washington isn't listening to them... But this battle will continue." - Republican Senator Ted Cruz

Sounds Like They're Basing Their Research On Native Medicine - About Time!

"Canadian scientists are looking for new antibiotics by micmicking the human body's condition when it is infected." - Toronto Sun

Why, Yes, Yes. He Does - Thank You For Asking

"Does [Justice Minister Peter MacKay] want to emulate the broken U.S. penal system?" - letter to the editor, Globe and Mail

Old Conrad Black Newspaper Interviews Are Not What I Would Base My Company's Public Image On, But That's Just Me...

"Being the best in Canada is like being the fastest runner in your Grade Six class. Your mom thinks it's great, but, really, no one cares." - Communitech CEO Iain Klugman

Aah, The Mythical Past - Every Conservative's Happy Place

"[The money for subways] comes from the same place where the Spadina line came from, where the Bloor-Danforth line came from. It comes from the treasury. We did that without tax increases in the past... You do it by finding efficiencies within government." - wannabe Ontario Premier Conservative Tim Hudak

Oh, Snap! Oh, Cold Snap!

"Certainly, the United States would never allow any threats to science work at the council, so we would defend it. That might be something that's a little different between Canada and the U.S., actually - science will be central to our chairmanship." - Julia Gourley, US senior Arctic official, on her country taking over the chair of the Arctic Council from Canada in two years

Ford Nation Maintains Its Well Known Tough On Crime Position...In My Dreams...

"The police are picking on him... Following him constantly, that's harassment, I'd say." - Renee Berkun

 "People make mistakes. If it was anyone else, it wouldn't be a big deal, but because it's Rob Ford, it's a big deal." - Latisha Mohammed

"If You Didn't Want Us To Find Out About It, You Really Shouldn't Have Had That Affair!" (General Alexander A Year From Now)

"We don't hold data on U.S. citizens." - General Keith Alexander, head of the NSA's Utah data centre a year ago

 "I believe it is in the nation's best interest to put all the phone records into a lockbox that we could search when the nation needs to do it, yes." - General Alexander a month ago

 Oh, Ha Ha
But Seriously, Why? Are Senators Suddenly Having Trouble Falling Asleep?

"The message to Canadians is we should have TV in the Senate." - Mike Duffy's response to a journalist's question about the meaning of his Senate speech claiming the Prime Minister's Office directed his repayment of his controversial housing claim in return for not being audited