Vicki Has Clearly Lost Her...Too Easy?
It looks like an attempt at communication. It contains words that are recognizably English in origin, gathered together in groups that approximate sentences. But, when you try to make sense of them, you quickly find that they make your brain hurt.
Welcome to the Bag of Crazy Colorado State Republican Senator Vicki Marble. What was Marble trying to say in her - speech is too dignified a description - word salad (with a tangy vinaigrette dressing)?While everybody was watching the national Crazy over the past few years, a lot of right wing extremists won seats in state legislatures, raising the local Crazy quotient to levels not seen since 1928. This trend bears watching (although you may want to take anti-nausea medication before you start...).
It Takes A Village To Make A Condo (In The Bag Of Crazy)
Membership in the Bag of Crazy is not just a matter of what you say; it's also a matter of who you are. If a homeless man talks about Islam inciting its followers to violence, it's a sad spectacle of human decline, and somebody should really do something about, you know, them, because this used to be such a nice city to live in, and I know that they don't know what they're saying and they really need help, but do I really have to be subjected to their sad spectacle when all I want to do is walk over to Holt Renfrew? If former Republican politician turned radio talk show pundass Mike Huckabee says what the crazy homeless man is thinking, well, you have an international headache.
You see, to get into the bag of crazy requires a team. For Huckabee the politician, it was made up of personal assistants, spin doctors and donors. For Huckabee the radio personality, it contained personal assistants, the PR department and sponsors. Not only that, but the crazy thrives on mass support. For Huckabee the politician, it was voters (until it wasn't). For Huckabee the radio personality, it's listeners (until it isn't...any time now...that's okay, I can wait...).
Only a select few get to move into the Bag of Crazy. But, they couldn't have done it without you.
He's Such A Card! Wait - What - He's Actually Serious?
That's Orson Scott Card - you may know him best as an outspoken critic of gay marriage, but did you know that he is also a science fiction author? It's true! So true, in fact, that one of his novels is about to be released as a movie!
This could explain the insane conspiracy theory - no, really. Listen. When you spend so much time thinking about futuristic scenarios that are not going to happen, it must be easy to slip into current scenarios that are not going to happen. The mind is a strange place, the mind of a science fiction author 3.1415926535 times moreso.
Why aren't other science fiction authors taking up residence in the Bag of Crazy? Have a little faith in our hypothesis - after all, nobody knows what the future holds...
Blame The Violence On Salsa? I Blame It On Rio...
THESIS: as you travel south, countries in the Americas become more violent. ANTITHESIS: crime statistics do not actually support this observation. SYNTHESIS: CRAAAAAZY!
Republican Representative Steve King, a lifetime resident of the Bag of Crazy, is regurgitating the old idea that mixing the races results in the dilution of white supremacy. You know: if you let your son date a black woman, their children won't be able to dance. Or, play basketball. Or, hold down a job. In Spanish, this is known as la falacia logico; in English, it's the fine print on the deed to your home in the Bag of Crazy.
Now, remember: membership in the Bag of Crazy does not mean that I personally disagree with what you say. Membership in the Bag of Crazy means that reality disagrees with what you say. Arguing the point only makes it worse...
