Life - now in high def!
If you take an aye for an aye, pretty soon everybody will be a pirate...
Fred never depended upon Santa for money - he was an independent Claus...
I don't relish the rehash of my relicking the relic...
When it comes to driving, all is vanity...plates...
If you are a fan of Dave Grohl's music, is it an amour Foo?
Is a woman who strips at two clubs bi-polar?
Gaze not into the coffeepot, lest it be that the coffeepot is gazing back at you...
My favourite country singer/Egyptian god: Billy-Ray Osiris...
Protestors burning old Yogi Bear cartoons? That would be Hannah-Barbaric!
If she seems to be wavering about performing, you have to foist Feist on your music fest fast!
The latest food porn video? Bodacious Frittatas...
It took forever just to get through the line at my local coffee shop, so I went home and brewed my own. After all, better percolate than never...
The Idaho idiot's idiom came from Idomo... Les Pages aux Folles: proof positive that creativity doesn't flow when you are exhausted...
And, remember: there's no U.S. in us...!
If it can't be shown in a Venn diagram, it isn't important...
They had a Happy Corn Chip Day and nobody told me?
This area is being recorded for video purposes...
Is a jerk who claims to represent the entire human race a synecdouche?
Have you ever felt like you were the son who didn't even know how to ask a question? I feel that way all the time...
Matriarchy: when the fate of the mommy outweighs the fate of the few...
To understand how fisheries collapse, you have to go back to the seine of the crime...
Sorry, I don't speak gravity...
My favourite movie director/response to urban alienation: Judd Apathy...
The bran giveth and the bran taketh away...
I had a brilliant article on the history of flight, but my dog aviate it...
Playing hearts with Hearst hurts our harts...
Anybody who can do that with their body deserves to be famous!
Agreeing to eat your veggies in return for having a steak is a case of meal recibroccoli...
I'm not going bald! I'm just having a dad hair day!
Chester the Mall Jester: Worst. Clown. Name. Ever!
Not agreeing on whether to go to Starbucks could be coffee grounds for divorce...
Meh: the urgency of...whenever...
Because at the end of the day, the day is over...
My favourite comedy about Element 23: Vanadium and Dumber...
You prefer to lecture on a stage? Don't look now, but your dais is showing...
Because I want to crash my car and drive it...
Motto of a waiter who wants a big tip: "Serve ass with a smile..."
I was interested in becoming a member of the Borg, until I realized that there was no their there...
The vague vogue plagued the Hague hoagie...
Too much soul food, not enough soul...
As the razor said to the barber who was tired of listening to his customer: "Strop me if you've heard this one before..."
So, Norman Jewison, Hayden Christensen and a duck-billed otter walk into a bar...
I'm not gay, I'm just inept! Les Pages aux Folles - see the world through rose coloured molasses!
Stab the staid stag stat!
I was interested in becoming a member of Mensa, but I worried that the name was sexist...
The nasty iconiclast...y...
Being obscure just for the sake of being obscure is...framptious!
You say you like the idea of capital punishment? Well, have I got noose for you!
You say you don't like your coffee? I went to a latte trouble to get it!
I'm trying hard not to smoke my clothes, but the bagel and cream cheese are ready and I've run out of lox!
When the Australian Prime Minister was asked who the aboriginal standing next to him was, he sang: "That's a Maori!"
Soylent Green is corporations! Warn everybody! SOYLENT GREEN IS CORPORATIONS!
If I didn't know any better, I'd swear I knew better...
My favourite cartoonist/economic system: Al Cappitalism...
The Qataris' Ataris were taken on safaris wearing saris... Les Pages aux Folles: the Web Site for those who are Wild at Art...
It's always best to let sleeping deus lie...
Life - it'll suck the life right out of you!
