Did it ever occur to you (because it's currently occurring to me!)?
My favourite evolutionary ancestor/toy: homo erector set...
The Web site that lost faith in losing faith...
Skydiving: good to the last drop...
Can you have a shit fit if you just don't give a shit? What if it don't fit?
You don't have to be a member of the elite to be an elitist, but if you weren't, why would you be?
Narcolepsy - no longer just for insomniacs!
I wanted to do this week's site update, but the dog ate my password...
The Doctor is dead! Long live the Doctor!
Blogs: raising the ordinary to the level of the mundane...
Because The Firesign Theatre said so!
Because The Firesign Theatre told me so...?
I want to start a rock band just so I can name it Grievous Chagrin...
That's just the way this cookie grumbles...
Have you gone completely (experi)mental?!
Would somebody who worships butterflies have taken a Lepidoptera of faith?
It's an avalanche o' comedy, buster, and there ain't no yeti to save you!
The future is now? Really? Does Noah Webster know about this?
It burns...IT GABRIEL BYRNES!
My favourite electronic music pioneer/annoying Internet meme: Gary Numa Numa...
I don't know whether to laugh or get defensive when someone I've satirized responds, "Thanks for your arch support..."
If I took my hands out of the cuffs before, it wouldn't have been funny!
Does the Bar Mitzvah boy unhappy about his take at Chanukkah have a gelt complex?
Comb the hair of the dog that bit you...
Drag, drop, and give me 20, soldier!
Karl Marx was hit by Manifesto Destiny...
I'm not optimistic about justice for natives, but Hopi springs eternal...
As you travel through life's great misadventure, remember: we're all only one piece of poorly chewed Korean fire meat away from eternity...
Sure, I eat seabirds - egrets, I've had a few...
If a Buddhist doesn't have enough time for a proper chant, does he say an Omelet?
My favourite French author/Greek mythological monster/cheese: Emile Gorgon-Zola...
Girl, that is just so many shades of not good! Delicate Negotiations: the .gif of the gab...
I have so many debts, it feels like I've Imaxed out all my credit cards...
My favourite chanteuse/rice dish: Edith Pilaf...
Putting the sin back in synod...
Loonies and toonies - now, there's change I can believe in!
Bringing the crazy since Iraq was a complete country!
Carpet diem! (Seize the rug!)
Russian characters are dead - they're a Cyrillic of a bygone era...
My favourite annoying actor/dessert: Flan Drescher...
To succeed these days, you have to talk softly and carry a big memory stick...
I know how deferential you are, but don't have a kowtow, man!
There won't be any new material until July 32, 2017 - but it will kick ass!
Agreeing to neuter a pet in order to be given a political appointment? Spay for play...
Why, there aughta be a lawn...!
I don't enjoy eating mushrooms, but I feel it's my morel obligation...
When given a choice of two down-filled pillows, eider will do...
I always want the dentist to put me under, but, as he always says, a checkup is not an ether or situation
TV comedy series about a pair of Indian princesses: The Two Ranis...
Proust...prosit - it's such a fine line...
Life is what you make it, so I'm making it a warm, comfy Afghan (not in a metaphorical sense, either...)
Despite all my age
I am still just a rat in a cage...
We used to be socks, but we didn't enjoy being short. Then, we got fabric extensions. Now, we're stockings!
I don't know much about fish, but I do know that cod is in the details...
My favourite scion of a dying political dynasty: Ebb Bush...
Forlorn? You think the world makes me merely forlorn? I got news for you, friend: I'm way past forlorn! I'm fourteenlorn...maybe even fifteenlorn!
Politicians! Remember: a corporate sinecure is more sin than cure...
My favourite chemical element/Vegas performer: Selenium Dion...
If my life was a comic book, today's issue would be called: "If Peeing Be My Destiny!"
The muskrat relative might start an angry screed, "Why, I otter...!"
If it wasn't for my Black & Decker Cyclone 3-in-1 Sander, I wouldn't have any power tools at all...
Still, I wonder...
