Thank you, Gemma Annar, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we read that Dwayne Johnson's beard in the film Hercules was made of the hair around yak testicles. Human testicle hair isn't soft enough, apparently, even if you use conditioner. Looks like a line of enquiry for genetic engineers, that does.
At first, we were grossed out by the idea, but, eventually, we just shrugged it off. Johnson started in World Wrestling Entertainment - they do things differently there!
Enjoy,Then, Chris Wallace's Head Exploded (Which, Admittedly, Is The Only Reason I Would Watch Fox News)
It was just a typical broadcast on Fox News until it went horribly, horribly wrong:
CHRIS WALLACE: We're seeing a tsunami of toddlers crossing the border into the United States. A sharknado of shrimps, if you will. A lot of small children, is what I'm saying. As far as I'm concerned, we should send all these pint-sized terrorists back to Mexico.
GEORGE WILL: I disagree. We ought to say to these children, "Welcome to America, you're going to go to school, and get a job, and become American."
WALLACE: Good idea. If bleeding hearts don't want them sent home, we can always send them to Guantanamo.
WILL: That's not what I said. Look: we have 3,141 counties in this country. That would be 20 per county. We could do it easily.
WALLACE: So, you're say - what? No. Sorry. That doesn't make any sense.
WILL: The idea that we can't assimilate these eight year-old 'criminals' with their teddy bears is preposterous.
WALLACE: I'm sorry - are you speaking in tongues, now, because I can't understand a word you're saying!
SOURCE: Drew's Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/thegeorgeofthepeople.shtml]
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Putting The Ass Back In Asbestos
You gotta wonder about a country that makes a relatively harmless substance like marijuana illegal, but fights to keep a relatively toxic substance like asbestos legal.
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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One More Example Of The Non-Apology Apology Inaction
Brent Piaskoski, executive producer and co-creator of CTV's Spun Out, held a press conference to deal with offensive remarks he made about Chinese people on an airplane last month.
"You know how people say that they're sorry if anybody was offended?" Piaskoski asked. "Well, that's not really an apology for what they said or did, so I'm not going there. I could blame what I said on drugs or alcohol, but, you know, they only bring to the surface attitudes that are already there in a person, so that's not a good defense of racial slurs. I could blame what I said on my assistants or the people I work with, but that's an evasion of responsibility - I mean, I can't really argue that other people were responsible for something I said. Not with a straight face, anyway. Also, you know how people say that their offensive remark was meant as 'a joke?' Really? That's what I used to say when I was six years old and accused my younger sister of putting the cat's paw in a light socket. It sits with me now about as well as it sat with my parents then, so I'm not going to say that either. The adult version is, I meant it 'satirically.' But, let's be honest: if you're not Stephen Colbert, you don't even know what satire is, so don't hide behind that excuse. I know I don't, so I won't. Thank you."
As he walked out of the room, Piaskoski was applauded for his candour. It took members of the press several hours to realize that he hadn't actually expressed any regret for the remarks he had made.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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Prime Minister Harper Is Watching Very Carefully...Very Carefully, Indeed
The Netanyahu government has passed a law making it illegal for Israelis to feel compassion or empathy for Palestinians. Compassion, the government argued, would make it harder to "vigorously and with malice of forethought pursue a lasting peace with whatever compliant government arises out of the ashes of the territories."
"This may not have a historical precedent, but neither is it something to worry too much about," Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu pointed out in a speech to the Knesset. "Aside from a few straggling lefties and radical journalists, Israelis lost their compassion for the suffering of Palestinians ages ago!"
SOURCE: The Arad Post
[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1499041562725]
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Ford Fatigue Hits The Nation (Just Not His Nation)
According to Mayor Rob Ford, his "Ford Fest" barbecue is not a political event. He claims that he won't be talking about how great a job he is doing as mayor, how much money he has saved citizens or how many constituents' phone calls he has answered. Since that's all he seems to know, I can only assume that he'll stand behind the barbecue and do his best to look like a regular guy who's not jonesing for a beer or something worse, and blah blah blah and more blahgedy blah blah.
I've been covering hizzoner for what seems like centuries (has it really only been four years?), and it doesn't matter. Nothing we report on, no matter how outrageous, penetrates the deflector shields his followers have set up around themselves. How else to explain that the most recent poll showed him neck and neck...and other neck with Olivia Chow and John Tory?
Sorry for that ourburst - what was I writing about, again? The Mayor denying that he was on the board of directors of Waterfront Toronto - an organization he's been harshly critical of - even though records show that he was? For two years? I've heard of a lost weekend - but, seriously, two years? But, no. No, it was something else - the campaign ad showing him making constituent phone calls in his office even though City Hall policy expressly forbids using government facilities for election purposes? Henh henh - yeah, that sounds like something I would write about. But, no...it was something...else. I think it may have had to do with allegations that the Fords lobbied for a government contract on behalf of an American printing giant that does business with the Ford family company. The gravy train sure stops here...so we can get on! That isn't what I started writing about, either, though, is it?
Man, I've totally lost the thread.
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=199082]
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