Thank you, Hermie Hunshington, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, a survey by the Union Bank of Switzerland indicated that people don't feel like millionaires just because, you know, they have a million dollars. And, we get it. Feeling like a millionaire involves more than just having the right amount of money. It's about being about to lord it over your slaves - we mean, minions - uhh, employees. And, not just the interns. It's about wearing the wrong things at the right parties. It's about knowing people who can make the threat of your personal peccadilloes becoming public disappear. It's about the secret handshake remaining secret.
Honestly, given how hard it is these days, it's a wonder anybody wants to be rich!
Enjoy,Drug Laws Are Complicated - If Only There Was Something To Calm Me Down So I Could Think More Clearly About Them...
According to the Prime Minister's Office, Justin Trudeau's call to legalize marijuana is "irresponsible" considering "the harmful effect...on users and on society." We couldn't agree more.
Legalizing pot will lead to the trade being controlled by gangs, who will resort to violence to keep their turf, hurting innocent people in the crossfire. No, wait, this is already true.
Well, legalizing pot will certainly lead to overcrowding in our jails as people whose only crime is trying to have a good time with their substance of choice are incarcerated in increasing numbers for longer periods of time. No, wait, this is already true, too.
At the very least, legalizing pot will ensure that people who are hooked on the drug will not seek medical help for fear that they could end up in jail. ...Just like today.
We should definitely not legalize pot because of its harmful effects on users and society. But, uhh, could you remind me, again, just what those harmful effects will be?
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/637.html]
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Do You Really Need To Ask How The Government Knows How The Media Feels? Have You Not Been Paying Attention?
Q: Why is so much of the media obsessed with covering Edward Snowden's attempt to maintain his freedom rather than the information that he made public: that the US government is engaged in widespread spying on private communications?
A: The government already knows how the media feels about it spying on private communications, so there's no need to belabour that point...
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=772&dir=bb]
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You Laugh, But If They Don't Have Horns On Their Head, How Are We Supposed To Identify The Evil People?
How Rolling Stone magazine portrayed Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on its cover:
How 12 year-olds would have preferred to see Rolling Stone magazine portray Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on its cover:
SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Okay, okay, okay, okay, here's what we're gonna do about Obamacare. We'll threaten to block appropriations bills unless Obamacare is defunded. That's right - we'll shut down the government! Shut it down hard! Of course, when I say we, I mean Republicans in Congress - I personally have no power to - okay, you know what? That's not important here. CAN WE FOCUS ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT, HERE, PLEASE? PLEASE? What is important is that 17 Senators have already signed on to - what? WHAT? Five have already taken their names off the - I HADN'T EVEN HAD TIME TO DESCRIBE THE LETTER, AND ALREADY REPUBLICANS ARE BACKING AWAY FROM IT? DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF "PRIMARY CHALLENGE?" DON'T YOU - DON'T YOU - DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT WE STOP OBAMACA - I AM NOT THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM! [SOUND: stamping feet] I'M NOT! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! DOESN'T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? [SOUND: sobbing] DOESN'T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND? WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY UNDERSTAND MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...?
SOURCE: Rush Limburger Home Page
[http://www.rushlimburger.com/home/daily/site_072913/content/truth_distorter.hostile_enemy.html]
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Government Takes Harb Line On Senate Fraud
The RCMP has described the home former Liberal Senator Mac Harb claimed as his primary residence to be "uninhabitable." This lends credence to the idea that he defrauded the Canadian government by claiming false living and housing expenses.
"Well, of course it was uninhabitable," Harb stated in his own defense. "I was trying to see what it would be like to live on minimum wage."
And, what is it like to live on minimum wage? "It's hell," Harb said. "If you can at all avoid living on minimum wage, I would strongly recommend that you do!"
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1072491873413
&call_pageid=903635260092&col=955966978274]
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