No Need To Turn To The Back Of The Book To Solve This One...
Hmm, Sally. I don't know. The beloved author of a series of childrens novels featuring a precocious young detective dies at the age of 87. They say Donald J. Sobel died of natural causes, but, let me ask you one simple question...
Yes, It Really Does Require The Southern Accent
Oscar winning screenwriter of Dog Day Afternoon and Cool Hand Luke Frank Pierson has died at the age of 87 of natural causes. What we have heah, is failuah to resuscitate.
Science Based Even Helped Him Get A Girlfriend
Hundreds gathered on Parliament Hill yesterday to mourn the death of Science Based Decision Making. "I was a close friend of Science Based," said environmentalist David Suzuki. "We used to hang out at bars and talk about stuff until the wee hours of the morning. Science Based was full of surprises, and we didn't always agree, but I can't imagine a greater friend of Good Government."
Although Science Based Decision Making was strangled to death by the Harper Government of Canada, the RCMP has confirmed that no charges will be laid.
Jokes About "Stayin' Alive" Are Just "Jive Talkin'"
Robin Gibb, one of the Bee Gees, has died at the age of 62 after a long battle with cancer. I guess now we'll never know how you can mend a broken heart. :-(
He's Only Number Two? WHO COULD POSSIBLY BE NUMBER ONE?
Okay, the category is beloved television performer who recently died. The answer the Sainsbury family has given is: Kathryn Joosten, 72, lung cancer. Kathryn Joosten. 72. Lung cancer. Is that up on the board? SURVEY SAYS: Number three! Kathryn Joosten, 72, lung cancer was number three. Okay. Sainsbury family. Do you have another guess? What's that, dear? Richard Dawson, 72, cancer? Are you sure that's your answer to beloved television performer who recently died? Richard Dawson. 72. Cancer. Okay. SURVEY SAYS...
Actor Knew The Importance Of Being Ern - Too Obvious?
Actor Ernest Borgnine has died at the age of 95. Although he won an Oscar for his starring role in Marty Scorsese, Borgnine was probably best known as the skipper on the TV series Joel McHale's Navy.
It Will Be Survived By - What Else? - A Bouncing Baby Condo
The death of Toronto's World's Biggest Bookstore just shy of its 25th birthday has been announced. It had caught the Online Shoppingitis virus that has decimated the North American bookstore population.
It Truly Is Her Wits' End
Humourous writer Nora Ephron has died of pneumonia brought on by acute myeloid leukemia at the age of 71. I'll NOT have what she's having.
You Realize That If Jim Davis Dies Soon, You've Blown HIS Obit, Right?
Tom Davis has died of throat and neck cancer at the age of 59. Davis was, of course, the creator of the comic strip Garfield, which polarized audiences for decades with its seeming approval of tormenting puppies and strange obsession with lasagna. Davis is - what? That's Jim Davis? And, he's still alive? Oh. Ah. Tom Davis. Right. He was the last truly Progressive Conservative Premier of Ont - Bill Davis? Who the hell was Tom Dav - one of the original staff writers for Saturday Night Live? A partner to Al Franken? Oh. [INSERT APPROPRIATE FIRST CAST QUOTE HERE].
Some Details Of Her Life I May Have Had To Elide...
Sally RideSykes Spiked
British comedian Eric Sykes has died at the age of 89. He was, of course, a Goon. As plaudits for his life came in from other famous British comedians, including the likes of Michael Palin, Stephen Fry and Bernard Cribb - you do know that we meant he was a writer for The Goon Show, right? We wouldn't want you to think - well, we wouldn't presume to know what you might thi - oh, bugger it all! Anyway, he died.
Not That I'm A Media Snob At All...
Oscar winning actor Celeste Holm has died at the age of 95. She can be forgiven for her roles on such TV shows as Fantasy Island and Love Boat II because of her performances in such films as Oklahoma! and All About Eve.
Andy Gibb Should Fit Right In
Country singer Kitty Wells died of complications of a stroke at the age of 92. Jon Lord, keyboardist for Deep Purple, has died at the age of 71 of a pulmonary embolism. Soprano Evelyn Lear has died at the age of 86.
When they get to heaven, they'll make a hell of a confused band.