Headlines are Feeling Nostalgic for the Day Before Yesterday

"Can you believe there's a Hunger Games cookbook?" - Globe and Mail

Not To Worry: He Didn't Say, "Simon Says Make This Di -"
Dammit! Do We Have Any Pickled Squid Powder In The Pantry, Or Am I Going To Have To Go To The Store?

"Simon says this dish is easy to make at home" - Toronto Star

Give Her Her Own TV Show!
Surround Her With Three Crazy Cribmates, And You've Got An Instant hit!

"3-year-old Zoey has smile that lights up a room" - Toronto Star

The Conservatives Couldn't Win A Majority Without Them

"The importance of zombies to Canadian life" - National Post

Economists Shocked And Surprised (Except For Paul Krugman)

"Europe's austerity measures worsen unemployment crisis, ILO report says" - Globe and Mail

Oxycontin (With A Zoloft Chaser)

"The best medicine" - Toronto Star

But, With Statscan Reduced, They'll Claim They Only Cut 12 Jobs And Saved $10.8 Billion A Year And Nobody Will Be The Wiser

"Half of Statscan jobs at risk with cuts
Over the next two years, the government expects to reduce federal positions by 19,200, to save $5.2-billion a year" - Globe and Mail

From Their Bedroom? (Eww! That's An Image That's Gonna Stay With Me...!)

"Charles, Camilla to watch fireworks over Lake Ontario" - Toronto Star

Okay, We Know You Don't Like The City, But That's No Reason To Be Rude!

"WHAT TORONTO CAN DO WITH TEQUILA" - National Post

Remember When The Globe Acted As Though Words Meant Something?

"Ontario's taxing march to socialism" - Globe and Mail

And, When Costs Exceed Expectations, They Could Use The Field To Play Bricket

"Baseball and cricket a match made in Brampton
Pan Am proposal would build stadium for both" - Toronto Star

In The United States, Voters Are Suicidal
In Canada, Voters Just Have Gas

"In Mexico, Voters Are Pessimistic" - New York Times

So...Rewards Cards Can Help Save Your Soul?

"CANADA'S LOYALTY LEADERS RESPOND TO CONSUMER DEMAND FOR INSTANT REDEMPTIONS" - Toronto Star

Bigger, Better Press Releases

"Gulf disaster spawns new tools to handle spills" - Globe and Mail

Problem Solved!

"The removal of slots from Ontario racetracks will impact more than just the thousands who could lose their jobs. Newborn foals destined to gallop to greatness may just be BORN TO DIE" - Toronto Star

"Horses are big business in U.A.E.
As oil-rich Gulf nations boom, hobbies of rich are gaining traction" - Toronto Star

And, At Christmas, He Loved Singing Carlos

"THE PARLANCE
THE LATE AUTHOR CAROLS FUENTES' FINAL TWEET" - National Post

Only If It Means That He Puts Away The Bazooka

"Time for Harper to bring out the broom?" - Globe and Mail

Unarmed Men Would Have Just Given It Dirty Looks

"Armed men open fire on newspaper office" - Toronto Star

And, Indiana
And, Illinois
And - Oh, Should I Not Have Brought That Up?

"Ambitions Thwarted For Young In Iran" - New York Times

Be Fair! The Odds Were One In Six That They Would Get It Right (Five If You Remove Scarlett Johansson From The Pool)

"Captain America vs. the toxic diaper" - Toronto Star headline over an article about Chris Hemsworth becoming

a father

The Ministry Of Qualifiers Is Already Doing Very Well

"How budget cuts could kick-start creativity in the public sector
Necessity might be the mother of invention in the delivery of services to citizens in tough times" - Globe and Mail

Can I See The Polling Data On That?
Because I Only Count 11, And 10 Of Them Work For The Post

"Back where he belongs
Millions of Canadians are happy to see Conrad Black home in Canada - few more than us" - National Post

Sooooo...Wouldn't It Make More Sense For HER To Host The Show?

"BNN host's financial situation improved when wife took charge" - Toronto Star

Absolutely Right!
Standing Behind A "Mission Accomplished" Banner On The Flight Deck Of An Aircraft Carrier Would Have Been Much More Lincolnesque

"A far cry from 'four score and seven years ago...'
By exploiting the anniversary of bin Laden's death, Obama cheapened a great tactical victory in the war on terror" - National Post

We Have, Indeed, Achieved Peace With Hono - Where Have I Heard That Before?

"Leaving with our heads held high" - Globe and Mail