Welcome to April, also known as Puns We Love to Hate Month! You've been warned...
1. The successful tennis serve on the pastry is the acing on the cake.
2. The far gone drunk in the spotlight was well lit...
3. Could one say that angry orphans have to stay in a youth hostile?
4. If you don't like Prince Charles' environmentalism, he's prepared to Duke it out with you...
5. If you want to be in your crazy aunt's will, do you have to get her to sign on the dotty line?
6. A reminder that even eels die is a memento moray...
7. Do cartoonists who wish they were as successful as Charles Schultz have Peanuts envy?
8. Is a #joke specifically for my sponsor one for the aegis?
9. The private chambers of a ghostly lady is her boodoir...
10. When I want to end an argument about pastries, I try to Pillsbury the hatchet...
11. Unfortunately, my social calendar is so full that I end up singing, "Whose Soiree Now?"
12. You've gotta love a Priest who starts every sermon with the classic line: "Tenets, anyone?"
13. If god had intervened in Don Quixote's adventures, would he have sent manna of La Mancha?
14. I'm not a big fan of Chinese dogs, but I recognize that Shih Tzu happens...
15. I'd like to write about life in the military, but I have no bases for judgment...
16. Is somebody who believes in rule by a Huxtable child a Theocrat?
17. Could my crazy need to eat locally produced food be called ma vida locavore?
18. If I don't say that I'm not a Saturday Night Live fan, it's because I hate to rain on anybody's #parody...
19. Bugs Bunny was vulnerable to attacks on his carroted artery...
20. Mel Ott was a Giant among men...
21. Being a Canadian #comedy writer, you could say I have a puckish sense of #humor...
22. The student who is too inert to clean his room should expect a dorm ant or two...
23. Even if he did hate the play, the critic shouldn't have written: "Well, Albee damned!"
24. I would #follow people who write all in caps, but I'm nutcase sensitive...
25. When a clam works out too hard, does it risk pulling a mussel...?
26. You know what they say about the birth of horses: foal me once...
27. Do brothers and sisters who party together engage in sibling revelry?
28. Do people trading sexually transmitted diseases go mono a mono?
29. Do zombie armies display an esprit de corpse?
30. You like the sound of Digital Audio Tape? True DAT...
31. Is the punishment of not being allowed to play cards a mere slap on the whist?
This Month: More Puns We Love to Hate!
1. Post-structuralists believe that we're all living beyond our means...
2. The barrista had to be fired: she delivered too little, too latte...
3. I considered moving to California, but I didn't want to live in Seamy Valley...
4. Should art about restocking depleted fisheries be called bass relief?
5. I want to be able to follow Enlightenment philosophy, but I just Kant...
6. A book about zombies on the Titanic: A Night to Dismember...
7. I like folk music, but I may be Baezed...
8. When he didn't get his coffee for 40 days and 40 nights, the animals were subjected to Noah's snark...
9. May the awed ever be in your favour...
10. What does the manner lord say when the vassals have woken? "Serfs up!"
11. Star Trek fans sometimes have a hard time seeing Deforest Kelly for de trees...
12. The exhibitionist French king liked to sleep in the roi...
13. Is the person who is bad at S&M a bore dom?
14. The confused knight said to his wife: "Shirley, you joust!"
15. Do bad golfers end up with many irons in the fire?
16. Admit you love tasselled hats! Come on! Fez up!
17. Don't like people who stick their heads in the sand? That ostrich coming from you!
18. When the leftovers were not eaten, they cried, "Curses! Foiled again!"
19. Stamping my own Portuguese grapes, I labelled the subsequent bottle MADE: IRA.
20. I don't know...lion dancing seems odd to me: good exercise, but not much fun...
21. Could you call a wordless cartoon about a leech a parasite gag?
22. It may seem a little one-sided, but I'm really into Gecko-Roman wrestling...
23. All of my money is tied up in Iranian currencies, cause I likes to keep it Rial...
24. When the cyberpunk author engages in a medieval reenactment, it is okay to exclaim, "Shirley, you joust!"
25. The historian who insisted on approximate dates was a circa freak...
26. Did wounded chefs in the war cry, "Medoc!"?
27. Brandon De Wilde was a lad in Shane.
28. I'm not a Monarchist. I believe lese majeste is more.
29. Phil didn't know if he enjoyed Mexican food, so he retried beans...
30. Do people who theorize about non-existent horses have foals consciousness?
31. Bonnie's amazing debut album was first Raitt...
