# A 70 year-old man in California who couldn't get his son to stop singing karaoke in the house went out to his pickup truck, got his semi-automatic rifle and shot his offspring several times. Let me make it clear: this is not in any way a representation of old people generally.
# Most of us would have used a pistol.
# Gee, Una Merkel sure is cracking the whip in the European Community. Still, did we really need Photoshopped pictures of her in dominatrix gear? That's an image that's gonna stay with me for weeks! And, that would really suck if I only had weeks left!
# It's pretty rich that the Republicans keep arguing that President George W. Bush's huge deficits and weakening of regulations - especially those relating to financial markets and banks - had no part to play in the current economic crisis, and that Democrats need to get over them. After all, they still blame the decline of the United States on FDR!
# If jesusfuckingchrist was allowed as a Twitter user id, it would have been taken long ago.
# The US military is developing swarms of drones the size of gnats. Great. We keep spending tons of money on making death smaller. When are we going to put the same resources into making life bigger?
# As a movie, Cars 2 would make a great screensaver.
# Malcolm Gladwell has been given the Order of Canada? Man, if I had been given the Order of Canada, I would be tempted to give it back! In a blink!
# And, when my family wondered why it wasn't on the mantelpiece where I usually keep it, I would rue having made such a rash decision and beg them to beg the government to give the Order of Canada back to me. They could argue that the book was so persuasive...
# The US Supreme Court has decided not to hear a class action suit alleging that Wal-Mart systematically denied about one million female employees their full rights. The court reasoned that there wasn't enough in common among the women's complaints to warrant a class action suit. There is a lesson here for all of us. If you are planning on discriminating against anybody, make sure you discriminate against the largest number of people possible.
# No, I am not going to end every column with "So says the Digital Curmudgeon!" What do you think this is, the 1860s?
# If Margaret Wente were any more reactionary, she would spontaneously combust!
# On July 1st, Canadians went gaga over a visit by Prince William and his new wife Kate Middleton. It was embarrassing. What other country in the world would celebrate its founding by fawning over royalty from another nation? It's provincial and shows a lack of self-respect and...and, come to think of it, that does sound typically Canadian. Okay, maybe it was the perfect way to celebrate Canada Day!
# The National Post devoted the first eight pages of the front of one of its weekend sections to Conrad Black having to go back to prison. Really? Eight pages? It would have been worth it to see him get off if it would just get them to shut the fuck up about him already!
# Will the real Michelle Bachmann please go away?
# Thanks.
# They say that the devil makes work for idle hands. How can this be applied to Vishnu, the Hindu preserver of the universe? In some depictions, Vishnu has four hands. Do the two pairs cancel each other out, making him immune to the devil if his hands are idle? Or, do they have a multiplier effect, making him twice as prone to devil's work? In other depictions, Vishnu has six arms. Do the first two pairs cancel each other out, leaving him with a single pair of idle hands for the devil to work with? Or, would it cube the amount of work the devil would make for him?
# Okay, maybe watching Vision TV late at night isn't such a great idea...
# "Carmageddon," a massive traffic jam that was scheduled for Los Angeles in the wake of major road repairs, never materialized. I guess some people were just nostalgic for Y2K.