Tis The Season
Recently, the United States government seems to have rediscovered the fact that it is better to give than to receive. And, just in time for the holidays! It seems only appropriate, then, that I dedicate the following up-dated Christmas carol to the generous folks at the White House (although exactly who will have to be decided by a Congressional investigating committee).
The 12 Days of Christmas (Middle East/Central American Version)
On the first day of Christmas the US gave to me
A huge loan, interest free
On the second day of Christmas the US gave to me
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the third day of Christmas the US gave to me
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the fourth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the fifth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the sixth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Six potential scapegoats
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the seventh day of Christmas the US gave to me
Seven weeks in Florida
Six potential scapegoats
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the eighth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Eight harbour mines
Seven weeks in Florida
Six potential scapegoats
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the ninth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Nine piloted helicopters
Eight harbour mines
Seven weeks in Florida
Six potential scapegoats
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the tenth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Ten to thirty million
Nine piloted helicopters
Eight harbour mines
Seven weeks in Florida
Six potential scapegoats
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the eleventh day of Christmas the US gave to me
Eleven shredded documents
Ten to thirty million
Nine piloted helicopters
Eight harbour mines
Seven weeks in Florida
Six potential scapegoats
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
On the last day of Christmas the US gave to me
Twelve military advisers
Eleven shredded documents
Ten to thirty million
Nine piloted helicopters
Eight harbour mines
Seven weeks in Florida
Six potential scapegoats
Five press conferences
Four investigations
Three hundred Hawk Missiles
Two thousand TOWs
And, a huge loan, interest free
Although much of the rest of the world is only just beginning to learn of the largesse of the American government, Canada has been aware of it for many years, as the following up-dated carol indicates.
The 12 Days of Christmas (Canadian Version)
On the first day of Christmas the US gave to me
An outrageous lumber duty
On the second day of Christmas the US gave to me
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the third day of Christmas the US gave to me
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the fourth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the fifth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the sixth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Six angry Senators
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the seventh day of Christmas the US gave to me
Seven G membership
Six angry Senators
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the eighth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Eight hundred miles of disputed territory
Seven G membership
Six angry Senators
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the ninth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Nine billion reasons to join Star Wars
Eight hundred miles of disputed territory
Seven G membership
Six angry Senators
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the tenth day of Christmas the US gave to me
Ten other favourite countries
Nine billion reasons to join Star Wars
Eight hundred miles of disputed territory
Seven G membership
Six angry Senators
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the eleventh day of Christmas the US gave to me
Eleven hundred acidified lakes
Ten other favourite countries
Nine billion reasons to join Star Wars
Eight hundred miles of disputed territory
Seven G membership
Six angry Senators
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
On the last day of Christmas the US gave to me
Twelve more months of trade talks
Eleven hundred acidified lakes
Ten other favourite countries
Nine billion reasons to join Star Wars
Eight hundred miles of disputed territory
Seven G membership
Six angry Senators
Five TV networks
Four corporate take-overs
Three ruined Cruise tests
Two useless summits
And an outrageous lumber duty
Now, who says that Americans are not a generous people?
