Within the next few days, you can expect to see the following interview between Barbara Frum of The Journal and a five foot tall electronic head shot of Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos:
FRUM: President Marcos?
MARCOS: Yes, Barbara?
FRUM: I'd like to ask you a few questions about the election...
MARCOS: Ah, why talk about old news?
FRUM: Sir, the election took place only last week.
MARCOS: As I said: old news.
FRUM: But, President Marcos -
MARCOS: Feel free to ask what you want, Barbara. I have nothing to hide.
FRUM: Good. Now, President Marcos, you have been accused of paying some citizens to vote for you -
MARCOS: It is true that I spent a lot of money on the election, Barbara. Do your politicians not spend a lot of money when running for office?
FRUM: Yes, but it doesn't go directly to voters. They buy advertising to inform the electorate of their positions on the issues.
MARCOS: Oh, but advertising is such an inefficient way of winning an election, don't you think? When you buy a vote, you know exactly what you're getting for your money, and the voter doesn't have to sit through boring election advertising. Much better all around, I think.
FRUM: But, President Marcos, with that reasoning, wouldn't the richest person in the country be able to buy the most votes?
MARCOS: What's wrong with that? I am the richest person in the country.
FRUM: So, you are admitting that you bought the election?
MARCOS: (pause) I have no comment on that question, Barbara.
FRUM: President Marcos, there have been reports of physical intimidation of potential voters. Over 30 Philippine citizens died of violence during the election. Are you or anybody connected with your campaign responsible for this?
MARCOS: Well, as you know, Barbara, violence is a part of human nature.
FRUM: But, sir, a democratic election is supposed to be the highest expression of human freedom and self-determination.
MARCOS: Oh, yes? I am very pleased I was democratically elected.
FRUM: Even though you had people killed in order to win?
MARCOS: I didn't say that, Barbara.
FRUM: Sir, were you or your people responsible for election violence?
MARCOS: (pause) I cannot comment on that, Barbara.
FRUM: President Marcos, the results of the election were delayed for several days...
MARCOS: Unfortunately, we do not have sophisticated computers to count the ballots, as you do. We have to use our fingers...and, sometimes, our toes. These are big numbers! (laughs)
FRUM: President Marcos?
MARCOS: (laughing) Yes...yes, Barbara?
FRUM: About the ballots?
MARCOS: It was a joke, Barbara.
FRUM: And, well told, too, sir. But, about the ballots...
MARCOS: Phey! You people take elections too seriously.
FRUM: President Marcos, with the delay in counting the ballots, your critics have charged that you were able to tamper with the count.
MARCOS: Did I not allow counts by independent bodies?
FRUM: Yes, sir. And, they differed significantly with your count.
MARCOS: Ah, well, differences of opinion are what makes democracy strong.
FRUM: President Marcos, did you tamper with the ballot count?
MARCOS: (pause) I have no comment, Barbara.
FRUM: President Marcos, have you been paying people to demonstrate on your behalf?
MARCOS: (pause) No comment, Barbara.
FRUM: President Marcos, are you responsible for the shootings of men and women who were campaigning for your opponent, Corazon Aquino?
MARCOS: No comment, Barbara.
FRUM: President Marcos, many returns did not have official seals, and there are reports of observers appearing in the wrong district, claiming that they represented the opposition when, in fact, they were members of your party...
MARCOS: No comment, Barbara.
FRUM: President Marcos, how do you explain the fact that everybody in one electoral area voted for you, even though a key Aquino organizer lived there?
MARCOS: The man changed his mind?
FRUM: President Marcos, you control the Philippine government, and it is charged that even if you don't receive enough votes, you will still be ratified as President, stealing the election. Is this true?
MARCOS: I cannot comment on that, Barbara.
FRUM: Thank you, President Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines.
MARCOS: No, thank you, Barbara, for this opportunity to give a full explanation of my role in the election.
Democracy in action is still a wondrous thing to behold!
