"Oh, wow. Ha ha. Will you look at that?" "What?" "That!" "The old bald guy with the Def Leppard t-shirt?" "No - next to him." "You mean the girl with the purple spiked hair - the one who looks like Betty Boop after she stuck her finger in a light socket?" "No! The other side!" "What, already?" "That guy dragging his box full of stuff along the floor!" "That doesn't look very funny..." "Well, of course it doesn't look funny any more! You've killed all the spontaneity!" "Sorry..." "Umm, would you help me with this green garbage bag? It's so full, I think it's about to burst!"
"Dudde Lipman...Dudde Lipman to information, please..."
"Hey, isn't that Anne Johnston?" "Who's Anne Johnston?" "She's running for Alderman." "That's right! Only, she's not running for Alderman, she's running for Mayor. Isn't she?" "Could be. What do I know about municipal politics?" "You knew enough to recognize her." "It wasn't hard. She and the three or four people following her were wearing buttons with her name on them." "Oh..." "And, that TV cameraman was a dead giveaway - didn't you notice?" "Well...there was this really pretty cashmere sweater back there.."
"Does anybody have a little boy. I mean...don't get me wrong...not for me. I mean, just look at the winter coats we have here - they would look perfect on a young bod - I'm going to shut now..."
"Linda...? Linda...! Linda! Is that woman deaf?"
"I (hic), oh, damn! (hic)" "What's wrong?" "I've (hic) got the (hic) you see?" "Well, what - do you want me to get you a drink? There are plenty of -" "(hic) No. (hic) Scare me." "Scare you?" "You know... (hic) Make a (hic) face or (hic) something..." "Oh...okay...A $24 BILLION NATIONAL DEFICIT!" "Is that some kind of joke?" "It scares me." "Well, I didn't think it was very funny. Now, what are we gonna do about my hiccups?"
"It is now three-thirty, and time for the hourly missing persons announcement. Judge Crater, Amelia Earhart and...snert snert snert. Just kidding. Listen to what I'm about to say carefully, because I will only say it once, and won't repeat anything until the next hourly announcement at...four-thirty. We've got a young man named Jonathan Principal here, and he's spilling soda all over the booth, so we'd really appreciate it if somebody came and took him off our hands as soon as possible. It doesn't even have to be anybody who knows him. Really! Mrs. Ludivico, Mr. Ludivico has returned. It seems that the lights in the car were not on after all. But, Mr. Ludivico had to stand in line and pay again to get in because he forgot to get his hand stamped as he went out - silly, Mr. Ludivico, silly - and he's pretty steamed about the whole thing. Snert snert snert. Carol, Maud is here, and she can't imagine how the two of you split up. She thinks that when she went for the pink short shorts, you went for the chocolate brownies. If you don't meet her here in the next five minutes, she'll leave without you, and it will serve you right for being a fat cow." "Hey! I didn't say that!" "Snert snert snert. And, somebody is looking for Linda. If you are any of these people, you know what to do. Thank you."
"Sam?" "Geraldine?" "Hi. How's it going?" "Pretty good. This is my friend, Frances. Fran, Geraldine and I went to high school together." "Hello..." "Charmed." "What are you doing behind that desk?" "Helping out my mother...see anything you like?" "What do you think of that skirt, Sam?" "Very nice." "How much is it?" "It was seven dollars, but I'll let you have it for three." "Thanks! I'll take it." "Can I interest you in anything else? How about these blouses? I'll let you have them for...two dollars each...and the bandannas... fifty cents!" "Umm, yeah. Great. Sure. Thanks. Here...will $10 cover it?" "Sure. What the heck. Nice seeing you again, Sam." "Thanks a lot, Geraldine." "Where di you say you knew her?" "What, Geraldine? We knew each other in high school." "Oh, really? How well?" "What are you getting at, Frances?" "She seemed awfully friendly..." "Maybe, but you benefited from it!"
"Here...could you take my bags for a second...?" "Hey, I've got a couple of my own..." "I know. I just want to take a closer look at the jewelry over there. It'll only take a second..." "But...well, okay. But, only for a second." "Thanks." "Why do I let myself get talked into these -" "Hey, mister. Waiting for a bus?" "These aren't all my bags." "Course not. Haw!" "Okay, I'm back." "Did you get what you wanted?" "No, they were asking too much..." "Will you take some of these bags, please?" "Sure. You're not mad at me, are you?" "No." "You sound mad. Look, I'm sorry it took so long..." "Took so long? I was afraid that they were going to elect a new government while you were gone." "Oh, you're just exaggerating." "Am I? Didn't you feel us pass into a new geological period while you were away?" "Look, I said I was sorry. I promise, it won't happen again." "Well...okay." "Except, I thought I saw some bracelets up ahead..."
"Linda! There you are." "Frank, I've been looking all over for you... "Oh, damn!" "What's wrong?" "The green garbage bag broke. What am I going to do?" "Don't panic. I think I can get you a box..."
