Thank you, lidelmezzo@bendbroadband.com, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we realized that we needed a shave. And, that we had to do laundry. And, finally, that our laundry needed a shave. Since we read that book on ancient Greek logic, this is the way our brains have worked.
Enjoy,Think Of It As The Cycle Of Life...Taking Missions Abroad
The Prime Minister announces that Canada will not be participating in any military action in Mali. The Prime Minister announces that Canada will be sending a single C-17 to Mali for a one-week mission. 
Without fanfare, Canada sends additional planes to help the French war effort in Mali. With no announcement, Canada sends additional troops to support the planes it has sent to help the French war effort in Mali. As the death toll of Canadian soldiers in Mali mounts, the opposition wonders how it happened that they were there in the first place. Years later, the Prime Minister announces that the Canadian military mission in Mali will come to an end. Canada had a military mission in Mali? The Prime Minister announces that a small contingent of Canadian soldiers will stay on in Mali to help the country to transition to...whatever comes next. Oh, and a single C-17 transport plane will be at their disposal...
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=759&dir=bb]
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Phew! I Was Worried For A Second There That I Was Going To Have To Slaughter Infidel Montreal Fans
Is hockey Canada's national religion? Let's see:
Nope. No similarities whatsoever.
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml.htm#54398130762]
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You Clearly Underestimated The Farrelly Brothers
Hall Pass 2: Hallier Than ThouRick and Fred are given another week's free pass to do what they want, but this time with a catch: they have to spend it at a high school. Okay. Remembering the hijinks they got up to when they were younger, the figure it could work out. What they hadn't counted upon was that there is a policeman in every hallway, a policeman who does not recognize their hall pass and has no interest in helping them have fun.
Hard as it may be to believe, Hall Pass 2 is even more boring than the original.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0272327/]
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If The Latest Viewing Numbers Are Anything To Go By, Hardly Anybody Would Notice?
First, the Sun News Network was offered on the far reaches of cable. In order to survive, it petitioned the CRTC to force cable companies to carry it to every household in the country, which the CRTC did. Then, because it still wasn't making money, it demanded that the CRTC mandate that cable companies have it on for at least one prime time hour a night, which the CRTC did. Now, because even after all of this it still isn't making money, Sun News has petitioned the CRTC to allow it to beam its signal directly into the brains of Canadians for at least 12 hours a day.
"Frankly, we have a political agenda that isn't going to sell itself," Kory Teneycke, Vice President of Sun News argued. "I mean, do you have any idea what would happen if we don't get this?"
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=30327591314641314084fx]
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Give The Man Credit - He Was Right About Being Wrong On Every Single Level
Okay, Republican Representative James Lankford's screed to his constituents was so risible, you could start a cake factory with it. He believes mothers intentionally put their children on drugs so that they can scam welfare? Seriously? Was this anally sourced? Frankly, the optics of attacking mothers for welfare fraud when you aren't willing to go after bankers who nearly tanked the world economy aren't exactly 20/20.
Oh, and when a Republican talks about "welfare moms," he's usually talking about "uppity black women who shouldn't be allowed to have children in the first place because they'll all end up dependent on government handouts and vote Democrat." Poor white women, who outnumber poor black women on welfare, are definitely not who he is talking about because, well...oviously, they vote Republican. D'uh! What, you didn't get the memo? You're obviously not one of Lankford's constituents.
Okay, this is par for the Republican course, and wouldn't even be worth noting if it wasn't for the fact that Lankford was actually answering a question about gun violence. Now, personally, I wouldn't have thought that overmedicated children would be prone to violent behaviour; I see them more as staring at the snow on TV for several hours. But, I don't live in the Bag of Crazy, I just give tours there.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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No Wonder Vending Machines Spit It Out!
First, people stranded in the frozen north rubbed two of the new Canadian high-tech $20 bills together to start fires. Then, there was some debate about the design of the maple leaf, which some arborists claimed depicted a Norway maple that not only was not native to Canada, but that kicked native species to the curb and urinated on them. The latest controversy over the bill may, however, be the worst: that the image on the front that appears to be the queen is actually based on an old photo of Benito Mussolini.
"Maaan!" a red-faced doorman at the Bank of Canada moaned. "We just can't catch a break!"
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2013/01/03/licencetoilduce120103]
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