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Enjoy,You Might Want To Reconsider That Lifetime Subscription To National Geographic...
David Suzuki is seeking asylum in Syria. Teachers in grade school have been warned that they could be arrested for encouraging their students to read Doctor Seuss' The Lorax. Everybody in the country has been made aware that their viewing of The Discovery Channel may be monitored for security purposes.
The RCMP and CSIS deciding that environmental and animal rights groups are "extremist threats" to the country has had some unexpected consequences.
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=32312647854640914777fx]
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And, The Oscar For Best Shooting Ratio In A Supporting Role Goes To...
Safe House - safer movieSOURCE: Five Second Movie Reviews
[http://www.5secmovrev.com/NOW.htm]
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Toews Becomes A Vic Of His Own Success
Stung by criticism that legislation that would give authorities new powers to collect personal information on the Internet was a threat to individual liberty, the Harper government of Canada has decided to send it back to committee for a rewrite.
Apparently, Prime Minister Harper stands with the child pornographers.
SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2012/02/16/503487.html]
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Sol-i-darity For-ever! (Or, Until The FCC Levies A Fine...)
In response to the censure of M.I.A. for giving the Super Bowl audience the finger, people have been posting pictures of themselves flipping the bird for the camera on image sharing Web sites like Fickr.
"I don't know," said Patchouli Granmertz, Communications Entomology professor at Lisbon University of Connecticut. "Obscene gestures should signal defiance. When a gesture of defiance becomes a gesture of solidarity, something is fundamentally out of whack with the universe..."
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2012/2012/02/03/puttingherfingeronthepulse/]
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The CAW Of The Wild
The Canadian Auto Workers Union has called on Industry Minister Christian Paradis to examine the 2010 takeover of Electro-Motive Diesel by Caterpillar in light of the fact that the American company shut the Canadian company down in 2012.
Labour is just adorable when it trumpets its own irrelevance, isn't it?
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49ppuup7-s6s3-4s4s-9c25-c2be4dd6f528]
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New Novel Is Ti-dious
Ti for TwoThe Maestro Veline murder mystery series is fast running out of scale notes, so you would think that Sara Evanovich would be ramping up the drama. Well, either the ramp is not very steep or she's taking it very, very slowly, because Ti for Two is so sedate it makes Agatha Christie look like Robert Ludlum.
Of course, the conductor for the Grand Opera of Boise investigating murders may strike some as a poor foundation for a series of novels. Astoundingly, the New York Times bestseller list would disagree.
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.43.15/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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Collect Enough Bonus Points, And You Get To Live In A Bag Of Crazy Made Of Silk
KARL'S COROLLARY TO GODWIN'S LAW: The first person to compare his opponents to Hitler in an argument that is not about taking over countries and starting a war in which tens of millions of people die belongs in the Bag of Crazy. Congratulations, Conservative MP Larry Miller! They get bonus points if they misquote the person whose character they are attempting to assassinate. Two for two!
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Too Much Money Friess Some People's Brains
Foster Friess, the biggest donor to the super PAC supporting Rick Santorum, said in an MSNBC interview that, "Back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly."
That can't be right.
If women actually used aspirin, they would have less headaches, which would give them one less excuse to not have sex, which, one would think, would lead to more pregnancies, not less.
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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There Are No Mulligans For tax Policy
Prime Minister Stephen Harper delivered a bold message in Europe on Thursday, telling developed countries they have to start making hard choices and stop taking their wealth for granted. The All Party Golf Caucus was formed last year with one overriding goal: to convince the government that golf games are a valid business expense, worthy of a 50% tax deduction.
"It was considered an elitist sport, that only the rich and wealthy play golf," he said. "Today, golf is mainstream." "We have already taken steps to limit the growth of our health-care spending over that period," the prime minister said. "We must do the same for our retirement income system."
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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Even With This Warning, You'll Probably Say Something Insensitive...Jerk...
Seven things you shouldn't say to somebody who has just lost their job:
7. "Well, now you'll have the time to do all those things you've dreamed about. Too bad you won't have the money..."SOURCE: The Web Page of Lists
[http://www.ListsPage.argh/2011/Ferbruary/We_Anticipate_Your_Letters_Of_Outrage.asp]
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Detention Diary: Personally, I Would Have Gone For "A Day In The Life"
WEEK EIGHT
Some time in the afternoon, somebody started playing really loud music. Just like my dorm at college, actually. So, I responded the way I would have responded if I was still a freshman: I yelled at the top of my lungs for them to stop. After about an hour, the music was turned up and my throat was too raw to continue. How accurate that memory turned out to be!
The cockroach shook its head sadly and tried to say something, but its voice wasn't strong enough to compete with the blare.
Listening as closely as I was able, I thought I could just barely make out Iron Butterfly's "In A Gadda Da Vida." Maybe two hours into the music, I listened again, and it was still Iron Butterfly's "In A Gadda Da Vida." I remembered the song was long, but...
By the third hour, I reconciled myself to the fact that the only song being played was Iron Butterfly's "In A Gadda Da Vida."
Although the music was not loud enough to listen to, it was loud enough to make sleeping difficult. After several hours of tossing and turning, I got so desperate that I considered stuffing the cockroach into my ear. There were only two problems with this plan: with only one ear stuffed, I would probably still be able to hear the music in my un-stuffed ear. And, in any case, now that he could finally be of some use to me, the cockroach was nowhere in sight.
Bastard.
When one of the guard's came with my afternoon meal - if it was the afternoon - I shouted, "Hey! Can you do something about the music?"
"What music?" the guard shouted in response.
"The loud music," I told her.
"I don't hear any loud music," the guard insisted.
"If there isn't any loud music," I reasoned, "why are you shouting?"
"I'm not shouting!" the guard shouted.
Clearly, reason wasn't going to get me very far in this place...
SOURCE: Harpo's
[http://harpos.org/archive/2012/02/26/dd-9000008]
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