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Enjoy,Blood (From A Stone) Drive
Andrine Sarpatha had aced the written test. She had driven at the speed limit and merged into traffic with the best of them. Hell, she parallel parked to perfection. Yet, a year and a half after she passed the test, when she was stopped because the rear left light on her car appeared to be blinking the lyrics to the theme song from "The Man from Atlantis," Sarpatha was told that she did not have a valid driver's license.
Apparently, Service Alberta, which administers the licensing of drivers in the province, had stopped recognizing licenses granted to women who came from countries that did not allow women to drive. Sarpatha came from Saudi Arabia. Case closed.
Alberta Premier Alison Redford, responding to the outrage that followed Sarpatha's public arrest, held a press conference in which she stated: "My goodness, I have no idea how such a thing could possibly have happened. I mean, I said that I would not reopen the issue of immigrant driving. And, I meant it. Well, I wouldn't reopen it publicly, anyway. Okay, cat's out of the bag and, in order to salvage my public image, let me just say that the province will honour all licenses that have been previously issued!"
Dan Savage was unavailable for comment.
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2012/01/16/strainedcarrots&metaphors120116]
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I Of Newt
Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary with 40 per cent of the vote, to Mitt Romney's 28 per cent. Gingrich was magnanimous in victory.
"That scum-sucking, corporation destroying, job killing bottom feeder tried his best to screw me over with an avalanche of attack ads," Gingrich stated, "but my inherent intellectual and moral superiority won the day!"
Well, magnanimous for Gingrich, anyway.
SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2012/01/21/election/main532219.shtml]
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Some Regions Of The Human Psyche Are Better Left Unexplored By Art
How on Earth does reducing arts funding make Toronto "shallower, meaner and more narrow-minded?" I was shallow, mean and narrow-minded before the funding cuts, and I assure you that, as far as I'm concerned, they change nothing!
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=
1021591447813&call_pageid=968129278492&col=930306972154]
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When Bad Questionnaire Design Happens To Good Web Sites
2 Fast, 2 Phineas) Who just dropped out of the Republican Presidential nominee race?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Two Broke Up
The debate over the series Two Broke Gays rages on.
"Look, I'm black," said series creator Salman Flushdie during a press opportunity for the show. "I'm putting in black stereotypes every week. I don't find it offensive...I subject people of all races, religions, creeds, genders to the same shallow treatment. What could be fairer than that?""
But does being a member of a disenfranchised group give a writer carte blanche to make fun of other traditionally disenfranchised groups?
"I would say that you could rephrase that," Flushdie said. "Does being a comedy writer give you an excuse to laugh at people who have traditionally had little power in society? And, I would answer: it's better than laughing at them for no good reason!"
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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Detention Diary: The Rabbit Hole Is A Tight Fit
WEEK FOUR
This is how interrogation goes.
"You should know that we are planning to bring charges against you."
"Charges of what?"
"Crimes."
"What crimes?"
"Serious crimes."
"What serious crimes?"
"You will be told at the appropriate time."
"When will the appropriate time be?"
"After you're convicted."
I have to think about that one for a moment.
"Do I get a lawyer?"
"Of course you get a lawyer. The right to legal representation is a cornerstone of our justice system."
"So, who will represent me?"
"I can't tell you."
"Can I speak to my lawyer?"
"Certainly. When you go to trial. Probably. Maybe. We'll see."
"Isn't the right to timely legal representation the cornerstone of our justice system?"
"Sure. But, the justice system does require a certain…flexibility where certain crimes are concerned."
"What crimes?"
"Serious crimes."
"What serious crimes?"
"You will be told at the appropriate time." Pause. "Of course, things would be a lot easier if you would just confess."
"How can I confess if you won't tell me what crimes I am being accused of?"
"Oh, are you going to be difficult, now? When you go to Confession, do you expect the Priest to tell you what sins you should be confessing?"
"In the first place, Priests don't usually hold parishioners in cells for weeks at a time. In the second place, I'm not Cath -" I trailed off when I saw the interrogator shake his head sadly. "I'm not - uhh…I…" The interrogator nodded towards the door, and the guard unshackled me and led me back to my cell.
I didn't understand. Why bring religion up if you don't want me to talk about it?
SOURCE: Harpo's
[http://harpos.org/archive/2012/01/29/dd-9000004]
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It's Certainly Not A Definition Charlie Sheen Would Recognize
The loser in the New Hampshire primary has to be Mitt Romney. Despite maintaining a second home in the state where moderate Republicans dominate the primary electorate, he only beat Ron Paul by 14 points.
"He couldn't make the 20 point spread," a Las Vegas bookie who insisted he was not Karl Rove commented. "He practically handed the nomination to Ron Paul!"
Romney, doing the deer caught in headlights thing that he has perfected on the nomination trail, responded, "is this some kind of new definition of winning that I'm not aware of?"
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2012/ALLPOLITICS/01/08/reps.main/index.html]
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He's The Brisbane Of Our Existence
New York Times public editor Arthur Brisbane asked readers whether reporters should question the validity of what sources tell them in their stories in a piece called "Should The Times Be a Truth Vigilante?" Clearly, Brisbane understands that everybody settles.
What you want: an investigation of the truth. What you'll settle for: an explication of both sides of an issue. What you'll get: stenography.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Soft SOPA
On Tuesday, Girls Gone Wild and two dozen other porn sites on the Internet went dark. By Thursday, SOPA, the law they were protesting, was dead in Congress.
"The law was too broad," said Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis from a hot tub in an undisclosed location. "It would have given the government a stranglehold on Internet communications, and the only proper place for a stranglehold is a mud wrestling pit!
"This is a great day for those who like to watch naked people do stupid things over the Internet!"
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report