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"Ummf - 'lo?"
"Howdy, y'all. Ah'm callin' on behalf of that theah Librul Pahty -"
"What time is it?"
"Time y'all lehned abaht th' impahtance o' thuh Librul Pahty in thuh upcomin' election, son!"
"It - Jesus! It's three in the morning!"
"It's been a - sniff - busy - ah say, busy day, son. I -"
CLICK.
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"Yeah?"
"Howdy. Ah'm callin' on behalf o' that theah Librul Pahty -"
"Why are you calling me at three in the morning?"
"Ya gotta get the cotton outten yo eahs, son. I wanna - I say, I wanna talk ta ya about thuh Librul Pahty."
"Why three in the morning?"
"Politics never sleeps, son."
"Yeah, but I do."
"That's as may be, bu -"
CLICK.
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"WHAT?"
"Howdy. Ah'm callin' on behalf of thuh Librul Pahty o' Canada."
"Okay, fine. What do you want to tell me about it?"
"Ah just wanted ta tell ya whut a fine specimen of a man Librul Pahty leader Michael Iggy - natty - iff - eff - Iggy - natty - eff is."
"Ignatieff?"
"Yeah. Him."
"Un hunh."
"Ah just want ya ta know that he would make a great President o' Canada."
"President?"
"Tha's raht."
"Of Canada?"
"Un hunh."
"Canada doesn't have a President."
"'Course not."
"Then, what -"
"The office is empty until aftah th' election."
"No. Canada does not have a President. Ever. Our leader is a Prime Minister."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Prime Ministah, hunh?"
"That's ri -"
"I meant: eh? Prime Ministah, eh?"
"Yes. Prime Minister. Either way."
"Wahl, don' that beat all? Ya lahn somethin' new every day."
"Where are you calling from?"
"Callin' from?"
"That's right. Where are you calling from?"
"Uhh...Canada?"
"Where in Canada?"
"Uhh...Ta...rah...nah?"
"That's funny."
"Ah know. I thought Tarahnah was the capital of Albania. Ah guess ya lahn two somethin's new every day."
"I'm guessing somewhere south, like, Texas, maybe?"
"Hunh. Shows what ya'll know! Ah'm callin' frahm Nahth Dakota!"
"I would not have placed that accent as being from North Dakota."
"Ah'm kind o' thuh black sheep o' thuh family. Had to git pretty darn - I say, pretty darn quick!"
"And, who do you work for?"
"I done tol' ya: thuh Librul Pahty o' Canada!"
"The Liberal Party isn't running any candidates in North Dakota. Who -"
"That y'all know of."
"No, see, I'm pretty sure Canadian political parties running candidates in American jurisdictions is illegal."
"Wahl, now, y'all could be right abaht that."
"Just like Americans interfering with Canadian elections is illegal?"
"It is?"
"I believe so, yes."
"Kay. It's been a pleasah talkin' ta y'all, but I gotta go. Vote Librul! Bah!"
CLICK.
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"Howdy, y'all."
"Who do you work for?"
"Y'all called me back!"
"We have call display and call return here in Canada."
"Wuhl, don't that beat ahl?"
"So. Who do you work for?"
"Uhh...Dahnahmic...al Reseach...eting."
"And, what does Dynamical Researcheting do?"
"We, ahh...hold on a sec... Whethah yoah campaign is local, regional, or national, we offah time zone callin' ta provide complete results tailahed ta yoah needs."
"I see."
"Oah staff takes pride in always providin' professional, courteous service, while dedicated ta uncompromisin' - I say, uncompromisin' technical and quality standahds. We offah fuhst-rate ahticulate telephone customah suhvice representatives with neutral accents."
"Yeah, they might have blown it on that one."
"What ah y'all talkin' abaht? Ah talk just fahn. Y'all're thuh one - I say, y'all're thuh one with that theah accent!"
"Riiiiight. You're new, aren't you?"
"How kin ya tell?"
"Well, I'm blue skying here, but I suspect you're not supposed to use your corporate client script on individual customers. Sends the wrong message, you know?"
"Thanks fuh thuh tip! That's right neibahly of y'all."
"Sure. Listen - let's make a deal. You stop calling me, and I won't call the cops on you. What do you say?"
"Uhh...vote Librul?"
"You have a nice night, now."
CLICK
"Mumph - honey, who was that?"
"Nobody. Just a voter suppression dirty trick."
"For the election?"
"That's right."
"I thought you weren't planning on voting."
"I wasn't, but I may have to rethink that now..."